My unprocessed hair isn't thick. Yours is thicker; ours, in its natural state, just looks thicker. My hair isn't "curly." It's kinky. I could do much more with it in its natural state if it were just curly. My hair isn't "interesting"--not to me, on whose head it grows, despite its apparent fascination for my dorm mates in college. And it is, in its natural state, very difficult to manage, and very limiting. (Imagine if there were a total of four things that you could do with your hair--none of which you thought flattering to your face or reflective of your personal style.) That is why I straighten it. It makes life easier for me when I do so. I don't end up with a sore scalp from trying to comb through my untamed kinks, nor do I end up with a floor littered with hair (one of the characteristics of kinky hair is that it breaks off very easily, and it doesn't like to be combed). I don't straighten it to "imitate" you or any other white, or Asian, or Hispanic woman (whites always forget, when they write articles like this, that they're not the only ones with naturally straight hair). A black woman's straightened hair is different in looks and texture from anyone else's hair, and we're perfectly aware of that. We don't look like you with straightened hair, and we don't want to. Most of us do want more freedom and more flexibility than comes with the troublesome pelt "God gave us," and I and others will keep right on straightening ours, thank you.

I slightly disagree with you. There are a lot more than four styles you can do with black hair. And it can certainly be combed. I have a feeling your problem is the same problem I had years ago when I first went natural, not knowing what to do with it because you never had to deal with it before. I started getting my hair relaxed when I was eleven. I only went natural at the age of twenty five (just a week before my twenty sixth birthday). I only just recently got used to taking proper care of my hair, and honestly still cannot braid it very well.

There is certainly nothing wrong with getting your hair relaxed. But after years of paying good money to have my hair terribly damaged with split ends and scabs on my scalp, I decided that I had had enough. And even when your hair is natural you can still go straight wth a blow dryer and a flat iron or a hot comb (personally those things scare me). Oh and no more having to be paranoid of rain or humidity. And having to make hair appointment a month in advance.

Relaxers aren't easier unless you only want to have straight hair, and even so it is still a hassle. It is just a matter of being used to one thing over another when it comes to convenience.

'Thick' is a poor description of the racial difference in hair. The main difference is actually in the shape. Asian hair tends to be round, while African hair tends to be ribbon-like (with European hair in between). When people say African hair is 'thick', they mean that it's fairly wide across the widest part - although it is actually very narrow across the narrowest part. African hair is curled and tangles for the same reason that phone cable gets tangled but the power cable for your computer doesn't - the former is flat, the latter is round. In terms of 'imitation', I think you're looking at this in the wrong way. In a world where all women had African hair, it's unlikely that long, flowing locks would even be considered as a hair style. Instead, the popular hair styles would be more in sync with the capabilities of the hair. Another way to consider this would be the difference between U.S. and European modern musical traditions. The baseline of both is the same (since the predominant culture of the U.S. came from Europe), but U.S. music has been considerably more diverse and original. A large part of this is the inclusion of African musical traditions in the U.S. (where there is a large black population) but its omission in Europe (where few blacks live). Now, no one could honestly suggest that in the 1940s your average white person was trying to 'imitate' black people. They just happened to like music that wouldn't have even existed except for the intersection of another culture.

Basically everything the above poster said, with an emphasis on 'there's nothing wrong with relaxing your hair', a nod of agreement to the 'we're not doing this to look like you' point of the original post and the argument that, while the original poster may not be straightening her hair to 'look white' it was not too long ago that there was considerable controversy over black people wearing 'natural' styles in corporate America (see Tell Me More discussion on the subject)

In the interests of disclosure, I did have my hair relaxed from the time I was young until well into adulthood. About eight years ago I went natural more out of necessity than want, I didn't have the time to spend hours in the salon getting it straightened, and soon after that I started the process of locking my hair. Starting locs increased my salon time, but once they were mature I could maintain them on my own. That, plus drastically reduced daily maintenance, has made it my hairstyle of choice.

Shana:

I slightly disagree with you. There are a lot more than four styles you can do with black hair. And it can certainly be combed. I have a feeling your problem is the same problem I had years ago...

Re-read the opening of the movie review, Shana, with its oh-so-typical white woman's paean to black hair: it can be "cornrowed, dreadlocked, coiled into patterns, fluffed into 'naturals'." That isn't my list of four; it's hers. And my point is that there's nothing in her list that looks right on me, or appeals to me; and more important, that I that think that she or any other woman whose hair doesn't grow upward from her scalp in dry corkscrews would be undone by the realization that she has fewer options with her hair than she has fingers on one hand.

I didn't say that African hair can't be combed. I said it doesn't like to be combed. You know that as well as I. Or perhaps you've more non-African ancestry than I that has naturally relaxed your sub-Saharan kinks somewhat and eases your way in the grooming department. A blow-dryer sure couldn't straighten these locks of mine.

Please don't imagine that I have never dealt with my hair in its natural state and that it somehow intimidates me. I have, and it doesn't. But I don't care for the way my unprocessed hair looks or behaves, and I'll take no more blame for that than I will for having been born with the hair itself. I've just heard the "oh our/your natural hair is so beautiful" line for so many years and then observed the behavior on the part of most black women and men that doesn't back up the rhetoric. We don't have to love our hair. It doesn't mean we hate ourselves.

#1 Your post sounds a bit biatchy

#2 You straightened hair is definitely meant to imitate white/non-black hair. Maybe that's not YOUR intention, but that is obviously the original intention...and probably your intention as well.

Blacks and many middle eastern groups get rhinoplasty...because it looks more European

Asians get eyelid surgery, and claim it's not to westernize their appearance...but it really is.

You can be in denial all you want. The Nordic/European ideal of beauty is the standard around the world. Black hair deviates from it the most drastically, so that's why they straighten it.

This kind of thinking is exactly why I think the topic of black hair is not ripe for public discussion. The truth is that a frightening percentage of BLACK women don't understand BLACK HAIR. How the hell can we explain it to the masses? I completely disagree with you. There are TONS of things we can do with natural hair. You are just so used to changing it that you can't even conceive of how to deal with it. As a woman who has worn relaxed hair AND natural hair, I can say with 100% certainty that natural hair is extraordinarily easy to manage. It is, however, extraordinarily DIFFICULT (and in my case darn near impossible) to CHANGE IT. Stop thinking that the only way to wear an attractive hairstyle is to beat (or most often) burn your hair into limp, lifeless submission. If you knew anything about your own texture of hair, you'd leave your old ideas about hair care (e.g. combing it and expecting it not to kink up again, etc...) completely outside your perspective and learn to do things and create styles that flatter YOUR HAIR. Not STRAIGHT HAIR. I am always floored at this type of ignorance. It blows my mind how many grown black women have no idea what their natural texture really is, or how to care for it. I understand the women who don't like Chris Rock's bringing the discussion to the public discourse, and perhaps its something that BLACK people need to first be honest with themselves about. Black women are the ONLY women on earth who can go their whole lives and never really know or understand their own hair texture. To be honest it's embarassing. And it's true that it makes us look ridiculous. No offense, but you sound awful silly here. I P.S On the note about not finding a flattering natural style. That's because you haven't given yourself the opportunity to really see yourself natural. I bet 100% that if you let it go, it will actually look BETTER. After going natural, I can't stand the sight of myself with stringy limp strands hanging down. It really doesn't suit me. I was just CONDITIONED to think that it looked better. It doesn't. You'd be surprised if you let those old preconceived notions about hair texture and beauty go. I bet you'd be radiant and GORGEOUS! Just give your natural hair a chance.

Shamwow, I don't know who or what you are, and you don't know me. Therefore, you can't presume to know what motivates me. If you're white and think the whole world wants to look like you, get over yourself. If you're black and sure that your fellows are motivated by self-hatred, you're projecting your own self-hatred onto us.

Dhester, calling someone you don't know silly and ignorant is an all-too-familiar substitute for a good argument. Don't stoop so low next time.

I'm done now.

Fact: The whole world does want to look white...or want their features to be more white.

There isn't a race on Earth that doesn't think they look better mixed with white. That is the truth. Asians think half-asian half-whites are the prettiest--sometimes their insistence on this is a little weird. Blacks think mulattoes are the best looking. Same with Hispanics...okay Hispanics just think whiter/more European Hispanics look better--see telenovas. Same with Indians.

I've known enough black people to know this is true. Look I didn't make the rules, I just observe them. I never said the world revolves around whites, even if it does.

You're trying to become more like the standard. There is nothing wrong with that at all.

I've also heard white people say that mixed race people tend to be better looking. Not sure what you can read into that.

I think mixed race women objectively ARE more attractive as an average. The very most attractive women of all races seem pretty equal to me, but if you were going to pick someone by throwing a dart into a crowd of prospective mates (not something I recommend by-the-way) and physical appearance was your number one criterion, I'd pick a mixed-race crowd to throw into. I'm not convinced it applies to mixed-race men, but I'm infinitely less interested.

And I think the idea that 'mixed race people look better' is a heaping stereotype. Most people in America are of mixed race, but I hate to think that minorities have allowed European standards of beauty to dictate what is beauty. If you think of the number of Blacks, Hispanics, and Asians in this world we probably outnumber the 'majority.' Why can we not then hijack the standards of beauty by taking them back? Just a thought.

How is it a stereotype? I'm not sure that what people think is really articulated very well on this subject. I would say the "average" mixed race person is better looking than the "average" white, black, Asian person. I fail to see how that plays into a "European" standard of beauty. Even that is pretty ridiculous, as European skin tones vary tremendously from Nordic to Mediterranean. I take it that you mean Northern European...you know...the kind of people who spend all their time trying to get a little color so they "look better".