Folks, I have been laid low this week by some form of the flu, swine or otherwise. To that end, I have three pictures for this week's captioning contest of an H1N1 nature. Good luck to all.



1. Sneeze

2. Masked Kiss

3. Child with Pig

1. Patrick wonders if a snot-based manifestation of the Blessed Virgin is really something he wants to advertise.

2. No, Lupita!

3. The Bell is arraigned on charges of recycling caption photos.

1. Sadly, Lester was never, ever invited back to the office Cocaine and Hookers party.

2. Prom Night, New Delhi - Sanjay and Leena dance the night away in the lastest fashion, coordinated surgical masks. Magical!

3. Little Billy McKinney, ca. 1950

3. On your marks,

2. Get set,

1. Go!

(you should probably find out what the winning caption was for #3 the last time it was used in the contest and disqualify it this time)

1. "Damn it all! There goes my last quarter gram!"

2. "There will be holes in our bedsheets too."

3. Three Little Pigs

1. Urquhart's chronic overabundance of saliva & mucous turned a handshake into an act of bio-terrorism.

2. By The Many Arms of Vishnu, I Will Find a Way to your Tongue!

1. Sneeze

His sneeze coats his fingers with phlegm

Flu viruses! Billions of them!

When he shakes your hand

You may understand

Why dipshits like him I condemn

2. Masked Kiss

"You think we can do it?" he asks

It's not the most complex of tasks

The question expressed

Is put to the test:

Can they swap some spit through those masks?

3. Child with Pig

She licked one pig's nose, then another

Gave kisses to sister and brother

All three kissed their dad

What fun they all had!

When everyone gave flu to mother!

#1 - & Another educational poster on "Stranger Danger"

#2 - Mary & Larry believed the old wives tale that kissing causes pregnancies

#3 - "Momma said bacon comes from pigs, then why doesn't he taste like bacon?"

1. We will Buy you Swine with Veiled Bird Flu--HC

2. Chit Sytem of Govt HC Works Sharia in our Best Interests-

3. its a veiled Bird Kiss for our youth Swine Pig produced AmeriCorps Kiss of Breathes-

1. Now we just call him "Typhoid Marvin".

2. No, honey, I don't have any kind of weird issue about touching you. Besides, it'll be much better once they deliver those body condoms I ordered.

3. Didn't you say his name was Victor? No?