... literally.

Grady Hendrix is obviously one of the world's leading experts on Giant Squid. I won't deny him that, even though he does deserve to be denied that. But one glaring error is the assertion that all a giant squid needs to be happy is a sperm whale.

Fact is, the sperm whale has a way of really ruining a giant squid's day. You see, in those battles depicted the squid and the whale in battle, it's the squid being preyed upon, not the whale. The whale dives all the way down there, pretty far out of its way actually, just to get the squid, which is like going all the way to Brooklyn to get really good steak -- you gotta really love it to do that.

So if you do care about the giant squid, and quite frankly who does, don't provide it with a sperm whale. Anything but. In fact, the next time you see a sperm whale, slap it. That should do the trick.