While I agree no one needs to discuss their hot flashes and other symptoms, I think this woman goes too far in her disparagement of her boss.

If it were 100 degrees in the office, and her co-workers fanned themselves, or had fans at their desks, or used the fans to cool themselves, I'm sure she would have no problem.

She had no idea what it's like to be standing and talking to co-workers and suddenly feel like someone fired up the furnace in her chest, feeling hot and sweaty - and to top it off have co-workers complain to the boss that she fans herself?

Sure, if she's fanning herself while telling everyone about her hormone levels and newly sprouted chin hairs, that's just . . . yuck.

But come on, fanning oneself in the office is not a break of etiquette. She is not 'flapping her hands" - she's trying to cool off. Surely you're not expecting her to curb the natural human response to feeling overheated. Don't you dare fan yourselves, ladies. It's not allowed. Just stand there with your hands in your pockets, lest you let the urge to feel cooler lead you astray.

Yeah, as you've guessed, I am in menopause. I don't discuss it with everyone. Or anyone, except close friends. But when I'm standing there and suddenly I've got sweat on my neck and I'm flushed, you betcha I fan myself. And I have a fan at my desk. And sometimes it's actually on when someone comes into my office to talk to me.

And you know what? Tough. Get over it. As long as I'm not haranguing you with stories of my estrogen depletion, deal with it.

I think the disturbing part is mentioning it to clients and talking about it ad nauseum to co-workers.

That being said, one day, the mid twenty-something might want to start a family, and she'll be in a similar boat as her boss. She will be in a meeting and have to run off to pray to the porcelain gods or something. So it might be useful for her to think about that--walk a mile in the other person's moccassins so to speak.

If it comes up, it comes up. We're human beings, not robots. But it sounds like the boss is bringing it up too much.

I think there, Prudie's advice was good. You should talk to your doctor. It sends the signal loud and clear that she doesn't want to be a part of the discussion, but takes her discomfort seriously.