If a kid hits you, hit them back. If they bite you, bite them back.

They learn, soon enough, that that behavior HURTS.

If they are screaming and carrying on, a light smack on the mouth will do wonders in volume.

Undesirable behaviors are best rewarded with undesirable outcomes.

Psychologists are as reputable as lawyers, drug dealers and politicians. Use the child rearing tactics of 10,000 years...up until 30 years ago. Kids learn best from direct experience that PARENTS are in charge and will enforce that physically if necessary.

This doesn't mean you beat the tar out of your kid, but there was a time that the most influential behavior modification was Grandma's Switch (even further reinforced when the errant kid was required to go get said switch). And that time wasn't so long ago.

The psyco-babble from the sixties has created the very situation you're dealing with. A parent with a child that refuses to learn ... hence the tremendous numbers of cannon fodder that we see today with our youth. The nanny state appears to have taken strong root...are you raising your child by a Nanny or an actual Parent?

Assert yourself, you're the boss, you're in charge, and you will dominate in any means necessary to accomplish your goal, your brat will respect you over time.

If you love someone, hit them. It's for their own good.

If you EVER have to resort to physical violence, you are a failure.

...of why, out of 27 first cousins, only half a dozen have any contact at all with their parents. Violent SOBs like you tend to die alone, too pig-ignorant to understand that there's a REASON their kids don't want to be around them and won't permit them to see their grandchildren.

I had no contact with my father from about 1982 until he died in 1997. I was a happier person then, and I wanted to sing and dance at his funeral. I should have. There were several people there that would have loved to join in.

Bite your child . . . That has to be the stupidest child rearing advice I have ever read. Seriously!

WHAT could you be thinking?!? That could only make things worse.

And please don't talk about the psyco-babble of the 1960s. You know nothing of history. No one in my family for as far back as I now, at least 100 years, would think of biting a child. Few of them approved of spanking. People writing books and diaries hundreds of years ago were opposed to spanking and rightly called it cruelty that only made the situation worse.

I'm not going to get into a debate with you over spanking for two reasons. One, like abortion and healthcare, spanking is one of those debates that turns everyone into poop-slinging morons. Two, in this case, it isn't necessary. How do I know it's unnecessary? Easy. From Tiggerhorn's original post:

"It's so frustrating and she doesn't act out in school, at camp, at activities, she's a really well-behaved child for everyone else."

The kid behaves for her teachers, camp counselors, and friends' parents and none of those people are allowed to spank her. If they can all get the kid to behave without resorting to physical punishments, then so can Mom. The reason that the kid attacks Mom and none of the other people is that, at five-years old, she's smart enough to realize that Mom is the only one who puts up with her bullshit.

Mom should have put a stop to this behavior back when the kid was two, but Mom didn't want to put in the work/believed her precious angel would be scarred forever by the word "NO"/whatever bullshit reason Mom came up with for not parenting her child, and now she has to deal with a holy terror.

The kid knows she can't hit or bite her teacher and I guarantee that the teacher never had to resorting to biting the kid to get her to behave. (Seriously, BITING as a form of punishment? What the hell is the matter with you?) Mom needs to talk to her daughter's teacher about appropriate punishments for a five-year old (a.k.a. NOT BITING), find where ever she left her backbone, and then stand up to her own kid.

But Mom will probably resort to doping the kid up because that's a lot easier than actual parenting.

Rockstar wrote:

Mom should have put a stop to this behavior back when the kid was two, but Mom didn't want to put in the work/believed her precious angel would be scarred forever by the word "NO"/whatever bullshit reason Mom came up with for not parenting her child, and now she has to deal with a holy terror.

There is no evidence for any of this. If, as you claim, the mother lacks backbone and the child is a "holy terror" then she would be holly terror for everyone, including teachers and camp counselors. Since she behaves well with them, her mother must have taught her to do this, and set a good example. Something else may be wrong with this child and it might be serious. I would stop practicing amateur psychologist at this stage and go to a doctor.

Also there is absolutely no reason to think that this person "will probably resort to doping the kid."

"There is no evidence for any of this. If, as you claim, the mother lacks backbone and the child is a "holy terror" then she would be holly terror for everyone, including teachers and camp counselors. Since she behaves well with them, her mother must have taught her to do this, and set a good example. "

We might have to disagree to disagree on this one. The kid behaves for everyone else because she's learned from them that if she throws a fit, she will be punished. The kid attacks Mom because she's learned that if she throws a fit, she won't be punished. Little kids will do whatever they can get away.

"We might have to disagree to disagree on this one."

Oops. That's agree to disagree.

I don't have any problem with OldPhart's recommendations. As an older mom, I gave birth to my son at 40 and just did what came naturally. I didn't need a book to tell me what to do...or some doctor...I just had to deal with the fact that I had a kid!!
When he acted up, I simply opened the closet door and led him in, shut the door and counted and to ten.
I opened the door and he would say, "I don yike dat, Mommy" and I would say, "You gonna knock it off then?"
and he would nod and go quietly about his business.
He got paddled twice for extremely ill behavior...Dad popped him once on the fanny...and that was all it took.
Now that he is ten, he is pretty well behaved for the most part. Talking to him in a monotone voice when he gets upset about something seems to work well to get him to calm down.
When your kid bites or slaps you, its okay to yell once in awhile at them to KNOCK IT OFF!!! CUT THE CRAP!! something they wouldn't normally hear from you.
Either that or get a ref whistle...

Just BE THE PARENT!!!

I have found with my own strong-willed 6 year old daughter, that she saves the worst of her behavior for me. Also, discipline that worked when she was 2, ex. timeouts, quit working. Working with a therapist to strategize better communication, consequences and rewards has proven very helpful.

Your comment about "resort to doping the kid up because that's a lot easier than actual parenting." shows your ignorance. My child has ADD and was failing kindergarten due to continuously tuning out and not finishing her assignments. After a evaluation showed she had an IQ in the very superior range we reluctantly decided to give medication a try. Now she is flourishing in a dual language gifted and talented program.

Congratulations on finding a solution that worked for your daughter. I bet she was really frustrated dealing with the symptoms of the ADD. She probably knew that, of all people, you were the one most likely to forgive her negative reactions to that frustration.