So this moron 'overshared' with his wife. (our whole culture encourages people to overshare in general- but that's another story). The horse is out of the barn. I suggest he go buy a 1 carat Hearts on fire pendant for his wife now. Or if his wife is into handbags- buy a fancy $1000 handbag. That's the price you pay for screwing up. This should have been covered in 'Husbandry 101'

Good advice. I wonder if Hallmark makes a "I'm very sorry I told you I want to have sex with your sister. Thanks for the baby" line of cards...

Any women that would want a material item over affection isn't a women. The husband did indeed mess up. The best way to make up for this is by showing her affection. A hug, a holding of the hand, a gentle kiss, is worth more than a million handbags!

I'm not saying to NOT buy the wife anything but if the purchase doesn't fit the husband's typical behavior the wife might feel she is being paid off OR that the husband DID indeed act on his feelings for the sister. Thus the husband needs to avoid being obvious.

I have to applaud Prudie for calling this guy out for the idiot he was!

I also have to agree with icemilkcoffee - Dude! You don't HAVE to share your every thought with your wife -- ESPECIALLY if those thoughts might be hurtful to her. (This is coming from a guy who's own father told him he was WAY too honest for his own good. "Brutal" honesty - that which you know will cause pain - is almost never called for in the marital relationship.)

I'm a father of five and I tumbled early in my eldest's gestation that women are particularly fragile about their self-image during and after pregnancy. It was a no-brainer to conclude that gawking at the co-eds in their hotpants and halter tops was not conducive to domestic harmony. (As lusting after your married sister-in-law should be in your mind.) We were living in a Great Plains college town at the time, so there were plenty of those sweet young things everywhere we went. (Yeah, I know, I'm dating myself with that one.) But, you seem to be a touch slow on the up-take, so let me break it down for you like I do for my 12 year-old:

1. After God, your relationship with your wife is the single most important relationship in your life.
2. That means that you do no thing that would cause her hurt in any way.
3. You have eyes only for your wife. No other woman exists as a sexual being in your world.
4. You protect and defend your relationship with your wife in every way possible.
5. You support and uplift your wife's opinion of herself at every opportunity. You want her to know that she is beautiful in your eyes -- no matter what.

Any other course of action is only going to make your path in life strewn with boulders and pitfalls.

As for sis-in-law. Be a gentleman and keep your lustful thoughts to yourself. At best, sharing them with her is just going to get your face slapped. At worst, your dumb@ss need to "share" will kill two marriages and split your wife's family.

Now, go buy a REALLY NICE gift for your wife, get "aunty-dearest" (OR Grammy) to watch the baby, and take your wife to a really nice & expensive spa B&B for a long weekend of pampering. Tell her you were a grossen dumb-scheisser and beg her forgiveness. MEAN IT! Then, act upon it. Spoil her rotten and be the loving, attentive & supportive husband you need to be.

You will reap benefits that are satsifying far beyond your wildest adulterous fantasies about her sibling(s).

I wish you peace & joy in your relationship with your wife.

T3kky

I'm not so sure about the gift since that is like a pay off and it is much to obvious. Instead just show the wife more affection each and every day. If the wife is insecure this is better than a one time gift.

The gift is an icebreaker.

The idea is to make a concrete visual attempt to show her that she is the focus of his life.

If she is half the woman he describes, she cannot be bought off.

It's the long spa weekend where the real work will be begun.

I hope hubby likes the taste of crow -- because it's going to be his steady diet for some time to come. Provided, of course, that he has any heart and brain capacity at all . . .

My view is the gift only increases the crow he is likely to get since it LOOKS like a payoff and as you know any women of character cannot be bought off. Thus I still recommend against any gift that is outside of the type of gift the husband typically gets for her.

The real work is providing more and more affection and doing the little thinks (e.g. helping around the house).

that's right, the gift would just insult her. The guy's life is going to suck in the near and not-so-near future because he did several stupid things and now has to pay the piper for them.

Lessons learned: 1. don't lust after your wife's sister as you have a family to support

2. if you do anyhow, don't make matters worse by acting on it and/or telling your wife or her sister you're lusting after her sister

3. don't think that any apology you give is going to make your wife forget that you told her you're lusting after her sister.

What he should do is buy HIMSELF something nice, as it will be a comfort to him in the doghouse. i.e. is your wife is still yelling at you for admitting you lust after her sister? Go for a ride in your new Porsche and forget about it for awhile!

What he should not buy her is liposuction or fake boobs. That might make things worse.

Also, I think the guy signed up for the husbandry 101 course but may have accidentally taken the animal husbandry 101 course instead.

See, now to me, all the solutions are beside the point and ultimately useless (although folks here do have the right idea, generally speaking).

I say that because, the problem is not that he is horny and oversharing. The problem is that he is clearly an idiot. Gifts and being nice do not change that. I just don't know how you fix stupid douchebag.

With the current state of the American family, we cannot write off the "stupid douchebags."

We need to educate them out of their ignorant self-interest.

IF you're doing it right, you need to mentor some who aren't.

Teach them to be men.

The time for feminized boy-men is rapidly falling behind us.

Our families need authentic men who will put their wives and children before themselves and their lusts for hot bodies and shiny toys.

Just this country boy's devalued two cents' worth . . .

He can't afford to buy her gifts - he'll need all his cash for punitive damages in the divorce.

I think the problem with men who don't "step up" is not that they are "feminized" and feel their own feelings too much. Besides, pairing irresponsible with "feminized" does no justice to the many, many women who are shouldering the burden of raising children without a father. They have stepped up.

Be nicer about women, feelings and responsibility.

Otherwise you're not wrong.

I would have liked to be the fly on the wall so that I might ABSOLUTELY KNOW the entrie situation as ass the posters here KNOW what is actually going on.

Then I, too could have my knee bang my forehead as it jerks to allow me to fit in here with those others possessing jerking knees.

Of course we know that, actual knowledge of any given situation is not necessary at the official man hating/blaming/dissing site known as proodies doodies.

You sound like a wimp; Man up and accept that some guys are jerks and stop blaming women like a coward.