Just sticking my toe in the water here, and those of you who remember me can probably guess what this is about (no, not the irony of a girl who trashes her coworker on twitter then calls the rest of her coworkers childish). It's about the funeral letter. I don't know who's being more insensitive here, the "friend" who wrote the letter or Prudie.

For those of you who have no idea who I am, my son died of leukemia two years ago, at age 22. I sat vigil by his side 24/7 at the end, during a week-long coma, and I knew for days before they pulled the plug that he was actually "gone" at that point. How did I know? The doctors taught me how to read his monitor. And yes, I asked my husband to make arrangements for that weekend, and yes, I texted people because that's the only way you can really communicate in a Neurological ICU, without pissing off the staff. And yes, I was insane with grief and still am.

I don't think Prudie has any business being sarcastic about this, much less to question the woman's motives in such an egregious fashion, and I don't think the letter writer has clue number one about what this woman has been going through psychologically for the last who knows how many weeks, months or years. Neither of them has any idea what the doctors were telling her, what she knew or why she made the arrangements. I have a pretty damn good idea.

I'm fine with being a smart ass about any number of eminently preventable problems people go through by their own (lack of) volition, but don't you dare tell me you think you can walk around in that woman's shoes for the time it takes to suck in a fucking breath and still have the balls to criticize what she did. Because you, Prudie, and you, Mr. Nothing-Can-Touch-Me Morbid Feeler, have never lost anything that valuable nor had to scrape together what bits and pieces are left of your lives just to make it from one minute to the next, and unfortunately for the two of you, your souls aren't deep enough to plumb that state and dredge up a shred of empathy for those who have.

The only thing Prudie got right was that the letter writer should keep his mean spirited aspersions to himself. Too bad Prudie didn't take her own fucking advice.

Iso, I do remember you, and fondly. And I am genuinely sorry for your loss. You've been sorely and sincerely missed here. Probably more than you would ever have imagined.

I hope your toe in the water feels pleasant enough that you will soon have both feet back in.

Do come back. You were one of my inspirations to start commenting here.

Iso remember and miss you too.

We miss you, sweetie. Don't be so much of a stranger. Be well.

You have a lot of friends & fans here, don't forget.

I think you have nailed this letter right.

...for your kind words and thoughts.

It's been a rough spring/summer. I do miss you all, and I'll try to force my way onto the page more often.

Well said, Iso, and I really do hope that Prudie's staffers will share this post with her.

In Jan, 1995, we literally knew to the day when my father would die. How, because we chose it. The doctors had been telling us for days there was no hope, that his heart was gone and we were only prolonging his suffering by keeping him alive, not for him but for us.

My brother and I consulted with my father and mother chose the day the machines would be turned off and he would die. We notified the mortician and close family. And damned if that stubborn old man didn't almost make us wrong. With almost no capacity left, he almost lived until the next day, just to prove us wrong.

You dont know me, but i remember you. I miss your writing too. Come back when you can

Iso have missed seeing your isolutions. This one was excellent. I hope you come back someday soon.

Thank you, Iso (I remember you!), for expressing so eloquently what many of us have felt. Apparently, neither the LW nor Prudie has been in the horrible position of knowing, to the day or close enough, when their loved one will leave them. Doctors are amazingly good at it. One of the most difficult days of my life started with a phone call from my mom asking me if I could come sit with my dad, still vibrant and very much alive after his recent cancer diagnosis, while she made the trip to his hometown to arrange his funeral without his knowledge. She needed to get it out of the way and didn't want to wait until he required her care around the clock.

As a mom, ISO, in no way do I compare my loss to yours - I cannot imagine the grief you bear in losing a child and I'm so terribly sorry. But the cruel, ugly and utterly thoughtless advice given by Prudie touched a nerve and you addressed it perfectly. So thank you, again.

I've been away as well. My sons are 19 & 21, I do recall your updates of your son's declining health. You are correct that I can only imagine the depth of your grief, and that inaccurately. You're certainly more qualified than to speak on this matter. If I can write a single damn thing that might help. I'll surely post it.

Iso, I thought of you when I first read the letter and almost hoped you didn't see it--I, too, found it and the reply inexcusably insensitive. I'm glad you set them straight!

I hope you'll want to join us here again soon. But it's probably clear by now that while you're away people will be thinking of you.

We miss you around here. I hope your fall is better than your spring & summer.