I only half agree with Prudie's response to the family picture. I've been on both sides, the long-term girlfriend, and the family. Our solution was to take some with everyone, some with spouses, some with only blood relatives.

That way, the brother with the live in girlfriend gets to order the one with his girlfriend, the sister can have one with only actual spouses and everyone else may choose according to their own tastes.

After all, some live-in girlfriends have lasted longer than some wives. And by the time the pictures are ready to order the girlfriend might be a wife!

I was really bothered by that letter. The idea that a family is defined by a document in some courthouse and a crass, wasteful wedding is offensive. The more substantial questions I think should have been asked are:

1. How long have her brother and his girlfriend lived together?
2. How old are they?
3. How many other relationships has this brother been in?

Now if this brother is really young (like under 25), I can understand leaving his girlfriend out. But if he's a reasonable married age and they've been living together for at least as long as these other couples (married or not), I think she should certainly be included.

SKK, you and one other person have suggested the multiple proofs, but that really doesn't decide the end-all question of what picture will be given as the actual gift.

"You're under 25 so you and your gf of 3 years cannot be in the picture." "You're 23 and have been together 10 months but you have a kid, so come on and get in the picture."

If everyone chooses a different proof it would be pretty damn strange to go to different relatives house just to see who chose the pose with you in it and who didn't think you made the cut.

No matter how you do it you're gonna piss someone off.

Saying "married couples" is pretty straightforward and the rule will always be the same.

Again, I have to say that I agree with most of what has been said, there are two sides to the question, but I say, invite everyone to be in the picture. At this moment in time they are in the family, and it is better to make everyone feel loved and included than some feeling that they aren't quite liked.

That's probably what I'd do too. And I think it's always nice to have a photo of the mom and dad with their adult kids only.