J Dallas, this poem is sweet , and I have made some changes
to, imho, make it sweeter. It’s one of my bad habits……sorry…lol
If this pisses you off ,I wont do it again.
Sometimes I can make magic with a poem.
And I will work on the last line if you want me to……….lol
Anyway…….
The dawn light bathes the willow's cloak
Into this
A dawn light bathes the willow's cloak
( its almost as if adawnlightbaths becomes a long word)
And I removed the comma in the second line because it slowed me down
on the Magothy at eve'
into this....
Well, I couldn’t figure out in a hurry how to change this line to make it sing.
Sorry.
This poem is really beautiful ,
and yet the last line hit me in the head like a lead sinker . Whaaaa?.
A dawn light bathes the willow's cloak
in soft refrains the senses stroke
and silent shrouds of rolling smoke
along the Magothy at morn'
Canvas visions, bold and sleek
of tacking sloops off Cypress creek;
While seabirds play near the Chesapeake
on the Magothy, midday
The sun sinks low 'till out of sight
appointing stars to guard the night
with moonbeam dreams of shimmering light
on the Magothy at eve’.
.
.
