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A good idea for a poem, teen age awkwardness and jealousy. But that theme is lost in discursive prosy chatter..

Hi Richard, I will continue my weekly oral interpretation fixation by saying I thought the reading was passable with less plaintive passion than the piece, perhaps, called for. I enjoyed the poem, very much; especially the theme, but also the word choices. (So, Richard, I disagree with your discursive chatter comment). Now - and not to be argumentative, but because I really want to know – following is a representation of how the poem is read, by its author, what do you think is gained by not presenting the poem this way on the page? (And FYI, when I posted this, before reposting, I had an undetected “space” at” license”, maybe that’s my answer…):

The most careless girl in the class had the most exquisite body, the constant proximity of which exhausted us, not least because her awkwardness, so unlike ours, manifested itself as a license to kick off all consciousness of her limbs like a branch one smacks out of one's face in the woods in an act of defiance, almost contempt, whose ironic outcome was the deepest inhabitation of flesh I have ever seen. It was through her body that I wanted to pass close to the bodies of the boys.

She would take me home with her and all but throw me into the dark dynamics of her empty-seeming household, which I felt to be hung with heavily stitched draperies that concealed not only the rooms but the beings inside. She took me there and spun me into her weird intimacy in which my own self-consciousness was a pestering insect— stupid, negligible.

She would speak to people, to men, to anyone in the streets and walk just as quickly off, implicating me in the desire she aroused, her uncontainability streaking through me a blazing trail of lights from high in the whitest part of my head down into my lungs, my entrails, the part of me that wasn't breathing.

I really like the phrasing in this poem -

like a branch one smacks out of one's face
in the woods in an act of defiance, almost contempt,

and later -

She took me there and spun me into her weird intimacy
in which my own self-consciousness was a pestering
insect— stupid, negligible.

TAP

d;-)

A great deal is lost, actually -- for once, in such a Tuesday Poem -- by presenting it in a "prose" format. This poem has something fundamental in common with biblical Hebrew "prose", which many biblical scholars (including many of the author's fellow Jews) realize is a misleading term. Very little in Hebrew Scripture is not poetry, however much it may be mistaken for what we call prose in English.

There is a difference between prose and narrative. This is narrative poetry, not narrative prose, and the reason it is poetry has to do with the combination of rhythmic cadence, the euphony, the visual beauty and the syntax. All these are best brought out to the eye in just the way the poet laid out the text. Ms. Ehrenberg is thinking like a Jew, I suspect (I mean in the sense of being familiar with the background of her own people's literature, ancient and modern).

wr ()()

I'm getting a little surprised at the reactions to this poem. There's nothing commonplace or "prosy" about it. It is narrative poetry.

wr ()()

Great answer, WR, thanks. Actually it was very similar to my answer (though mine was not near as eloquent as yours) except for one thing: I think the poem looks very plain; several have reproduced it in their threads; very plain. I’m sitting in a coffee shop listening to a song, right now. The singer is saying “she had diamonds on the inside”; that reminds me of this week’s poem.

Agree with richard. The appeal of this poem to so many on here stems from its subject matter far more than from her execution. This poem doesn't flow in the least and the ending is just, well,
disappointing. (imho, of course) Sorry boys, but Emperor's New Clothes and all. Again, my guess is that people are identifying with her as she describes the awkward teenage years. That does not make this a successful poem. Once again, you've been had. Richard, I wasn't going to post about this poem but felt your position needed some back up. This is mediocre work, at best and technically, poetry qua poetry, falls far short of many other poems that Mr. Pinsky has presented here. I'd love to see what Meghan O'Rourke or Deborah Garrison could do with that topic.

And it seems to me that most of the responses are positive. Don't know why, except for my hunch below. I find it exceedingly prosy and rather flat & boring. (Parts of it are actually rather ugly.)

You're all identifying with the topic, imho of course.

There's no (or very little) "there" here, gents.

C/t.