The ((GO P!* Party?!)) is not going to run itself. Sarah Palin, knowing just how much people want to help is now asking you to go by her example and quit your job to help make America better. She knows that most of you don't have to quit since you probably don't have a job right now, but for those who do, Governor Palin has composed this nifty form letter that you can use to offer your resignation.

All you have to do is fill in the appropriate curvy spots, but don't leave them in, no matter how cool they may look; you want to look professional here and curvy things should be used in moderation and for emphasis; you'll see later.

Hi Boss ((or you may want to call him or her by their name so they think you like them as in when ever I write to a certain someone I always start with “Hi John”)), I appreciate sending this letter TO you, the person I work for, as your ((senior vice president, Head of department, night manager, lookout, etc.)).

People who know me know that besides faith and family ((or try other words that begins with the same letters like work and wealth or fame and fortune but not beer and broads unless that really is important to you. This called a literation and is a literal device used to draw attention to your words; I learn that at one of the colleges I attended)), nothing's more important to me than our beloved place to work. Serving our ((customers, patients, parolees, people walking by on the street trying to ignore us, faceless assholes on the phone, homeless people asking to use the restroom, etc.)) is the greatest honor I could find at the time.

I want people who work here at this place of work to grasp what can be in store for our ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)). We were started as a ((business, firm, convenient store, small plumbing company, fly-by-night phone center, debt collection agency)) because ((name of owner, corporate entity, street name if applies)), providentially saw in this ((corporate environment, strip mall, bordered up building, busy street corner populated by prostitutes and slingers)), vast ((choose all that apply: riches, space, need, despair, urban renewal funds for the taking, little to no police presence)) and opportunity. He boldly ((insert company slogan w/appropiate verbiage. Ex. He boldy thought “It’s time to make the doughnuts”; or He boldly “Got Milk.”)) But he endured such ridicule and mocking for his vision, remember the adversaries scoffed, calling this ((what employee’s called your place of work when they were in the break room; ex. “Wal-Fart”, “Gaptoothed”, “Kinko’s”)). But because ((name of owner, corporate entity, street name if applies)), withstood such ((disdain, harassment, robberies, police shakedowns)) as s/he chose the uncomfortable, unconventional, ((again, if you do not wish to sue this phrasing, substitute another literation which would symbolize the struggle of the business such as staggering, stupefying)) but RIGHT ((or choose a word more apropos such as PROFITABLE, EASY, SHORTEST, LESS DANGEROUS; Caps important so your BOSS can hear what you are writing)) path to ((choose appropriate verb: find, keep, carve out, keep afloat, park, etc.)) for ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)), so ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)) could help ((use same verb as above; this is another literal device which I don’t know if it has a name but it will work trust me. If you’re worried, CAPITALIZE)) the United States.

((Store, Office, Restaurant, Booth, Van))’s mission - to contribute to America. We're strategic IN the world as the ((crossroads, big box retailer, liquidation center, coffee shop, copy center, meth capital)) OF the world, as a ((gatekeeper, petty bureaucracy, coffee brewer, lookout, usurer, enforcer, etc.)) of the continent. Bold visionaries knew this – ((Store, Office, Restaurant, Booth, Van)) would be part of America's great destiny.

Our destiny to be reached by responsibly developing our ((contacts, verbal skills, inner talents, hygiene practices, limps, etc)). This ((Store, Office, Restaurant, Booth, Van)), blessed with ((great employees, tremendous demand, little or no competiton, free soda machine, etc.)) It's ((energy, faith, work ethic, free sodas))! God gave us ((energy, faith, work ethic, free sodas)).

So to serve the ((Store, Office, Restaurant, Booth, Van)) is a humbling responsibility, because I know in my soul that ((Store, Office, Restaurant, Booth, Van)) is of such import, for America's security, in such a volatile world. And you know me by now, I promised to ((show MY independence, do MY work, SHOW UP on time, not ask for SATURDAYS OFF, etc.) ... there will be no more conventional "business as usual".

And we are doing well! ((Store, Office, Restaurant, Booth, Van))’s accomplishments speak for themselves. We work tirelessly for ((name of owner, corporate entity, street name if applies)).

We aggressively and responsibly develop our ((great employees, tremendous demand, little or no competiton, free soda machine, etc.)) because they were created to be used to better our world... to HELP people... and we protect foremost ((customers, patients, parolees, people walking by on the street trying to ignore us, faceless assholes on the phone, homeless people asking to use the restroom, etc.)) with our ((office rules, store policy, street justice, etc.))

Here's some of the things we've done: ((List things that have happened while you have worked there))

((here are a few examples))

We held the line FOR ((customers, patients, parolees, people walking by on the street trying to ignore us, faceless assholes on the phone, homeless people asking to use the restroom, etc.)) - and finally for the first time in decades - you're seeing ((customers, patients, parolees, people walking by on the street trying to ignore us, faceless assholes on the phone, homeless people asking to use the restroom, etc.))

We have Casual Fridays. THIS is independence.

We have monthly rather than individual birthdays.

We don’t watch NSFW videos at our desks.

We cleaned up the refrigerator and instituted a list of rules for the break room.

We stopped double charging old ladies and keeping the differences.

No one has been arrested lately.

And no one is complaining about no pay raises. So much success - and with this success I am proud to take credit... for working with the right people! Our goal was to ((make a profit, bring a sense of professionalism to our field, not go out of business, become the major distributors on the East side, etc.)) It's because of the people...good people the ((great employees, tremendous demand, little or no competiton, free soda machine, etc.)), with servants' hearts and astounding work ethic... THEY are ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van))’s success!

We are doing well! I wish you'd hear MORE from ((corporate, regional, customers, snitches, etc.)) of your ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van))’s progress and how we tackle ((problems, hurdles, shoplifters, Mormon kids trying to hand out the Wathctower, etc.)) - daily we’re tackling- ((problems, hurdles, shoplifters, Mormon kids trying to hand out the Wattchtower, etc.)) that would stymie our ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)).

You don't hear much of the good stuff from ((corporate, regional, customers, snitches, etc.)) anymore, do you?

Some say things changed for me on August 29th last year - the day John McCain tapped Sarah Palin to be his running-mate and it was an honor for me to see her stand beside such a great American hero- I say others changed.

Let me speak to that for a minute.

If SARAH has taught me one thing: it’s that LIFE is about choices! Well, two things. Only dead fish "go with the flow". Three things. Life is too short to compromise time and resources... it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep HER head down, plod along, and appease those who are demanding : "Sit down and shut up", but that's the worthless, easy path out ; that's a quitter's way out. And a problem in our country today is apathy. It would be apathetic to just hunker down and "go with the flow".

No. Productive, fulfilled people determine where to put their efforts, choosing to wisely utilize precious time... to BUILD UP.

And there is such a need to BUILD up and FIGHT for our country and SARAH chose to FIGHT for it! And SHE'll work hard for others who still believe in free enterprise and smaller government; and strong national security for our country and support for our troops; and ((energy, faith, work ethic, free sodas)) independence; and for those who will protect freedom and equality and LIFE... SHE’ll work hard for and campaign for those who are PROUD to be American, and who are INSPIRED by our ideals and they won't deride them.

SARAH WILL support others who seek to serve, in or out of office and SHE doesn't care what party they're in or no party at all. And I will be doing the same.

But SHE won't do it from the Governor's desk. And I won’t do from my ((desk, phone, car, salad bar, cash register, meth lab, etc.)).

I've never believed that I, nor anyone else, needs a job to do this - to make a difference... to HELP people. So I choose, for my State and for my family,and nost of all SARAH PALIN, more "freedom" to progress, all the way around... so that ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)) may progress... I don’t want to go to ((professional development program, management training, target practice, mule runs)).

And so as I thought about this that I wouldn't do ((professional development program, management training, target practice, mule runs)) and what that means for ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)), I thought about how much fun some employees have... ((go to corporate retreats, use the office copier to make resumes, steal pencils and lamps, reap revenge and payback for years of abuse)), - so many people do that. And then I thought - that's what's wrong - many just accept that status, hit the road, draw the paycheck, and kinda "milk it". I'm not gonna put our ((customers, patients, parolees, people walking by on the street trying to ignore us, faceless assholes on the phone, homeless people asking to use the restroom, etc.)) through that - I promised efficiencies and effectiveness! ? That's not how I am wired. I am not wired to operate under the same old "business as usual." I promised that - and I meant it.

That is not what is best for ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)).

I am determined to take the right path for ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)) even though it is unconventional and not so comfortable.

With this announcement that I am not seeking ((professional development program, management training, target practice, mule runs)) ... I've determined it's best to transfer the authority of ((senior vice president, Head of department, night manager, lookout, etc.)) to ((Bob, that new Indian kid, an automaton, etc.)); and I am willing to do this, so that this ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)) - with its positive agenda, its accomplishments, and its successful road to an incredible future for ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)) - can continue without interruption and with great success.

My choice is to take a stand and effect change – and just not hit my head against the wall and watch valuable time and money, singles of your dollars, go down the drain in this new environment. Rather, we know we can effect positive change outside at this moment in time, on another scale, and actually make a difference for our priorities - and so we will, for ((customers, patients, parolees, people walking by on the street trying to ignore us, faceless assholes on the phone, homeless people asking to use the restroom, etc.))

Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me – ((choose what best fits your personality: sports... basketball And know when it's time to pass the ball - for victory; baseball… knowing when its time to be waved off an easy pop– for victory; football… knowing when to not catch to run hard down field – for covering the spread)) I have given my reasons candidly and truthfully... and my last day won't be for another few weeks so the transition will be very smooth. In fact, I will look for my present at the annual picnic.

And I really don’t want to disappoint anyone with this announcement not with the decision I have made; all I can ask is that you TRUST me with this decision –and know that it is no more "business as usual".

Some employees don't mind wasting your dollars and time. I do. I cannot stand here as your employee and allow a lot of our dollars go to waste just so I can hold the title of ((senior vice president, Head of department, night manager, lookout, etc.)) And my children, if I have any, won't allow it either. ? Some are going to question the timing on this? Let's just say, this decision has been in the works for awhile...

In fact, this decision comes after much consideration, and finally polling the most important people in my life - my children if I have any (where the count was unanimous if there were any to count... well, in response to asking: "Want me to make a positive difference and fight for ALL our children's future from OUTSIDE the Governor's office?" It was four "yes's" and one "hell yeah!" The "hell yeah" sealed it - and someday I'll talk about the details of that... I think much of it for the kids seeing their baby brother mocked by some pretty mean-spirited adults recently, if they have a baby brother to be mocked. Or maybe he was killed in a hail of bullets in a vicious turf battle, if I had a kid at all) Um, by the way, sure wish folks could ever, ever understand ALL could learn so much from someone like my son, If I have one- I know he needs me, but I need him even more... what a child if you have one can offer to set priorities RIGHT - know time is precious... the world needs more my “KIDS”, not fewer.

May we ALL learn from them! If we have them.

*((Gotta put First Things First))* ((This is where you keep the double curvy things. It works doesn’t it.)) ((But don’t keep the last double curvy things, or these ones.))

First things first: as ((senior vice president, Head of department, night manager, lookout, etc.)), I love my job and I love ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)). And it hurts to make this choice but I am doing what's best for ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)) and I've explained why... though I think of the saying on my parents' refrigerator that says "Don't explain: your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe you anyway." ((Other magnets: I’m on a seafood diet, when I see food, I eat it.; Visit Carlsbad Caverns; We aim to please – Please Aim, too.))

But I have given my reasons... no more "business as usual" and I am taking my fight for what's right - for ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)) - in a new direction.

Now, despite this, I don't want anyone, any employee prospect dissuaded from entering ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)) after seeing this REAL "climate change" that began in August... no, we NEED hardworking, average Americans fighting for what's right! And I will support you because we need YOU and YOU can effect change, and I can too without a job.

We need those who will respect our Constitution where government's supposed to serve from the BOTTOM UP, not move toward this TOP DOWN big government take-over... but rather, will be protectors of individual rights - who also have enough common sense to acknowledge when conditions have drastically changed and are willing to call an audible and ((pass the ball, not chase down a foul pop up, half ass it to the huddle) )when it's time so the team can win! And that’s what I'm doing!

Remember ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van))... ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)) is now, more than ever, ((trying to “think different”, “send only the very best”)). And It'll be good. So God bless you, and from me and my family - to ALL ((store, office, restaurant, booth, van)) - you have my paycheck.

Take the words of General MacArthur he said, "We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction." ((You may also use other great sayings: From Henry Ward Beecher: “It is not what we take up, but what we give up, that makes us rich”; From Kingman Brewster, Jr.: “If I take refuge in ambiguity, I assure you that it's quite conscious”; or to paraphrase George Herbert Allen: “People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don't know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to[quit].”))

I think I'll wait for the condensed version or the cliff notes.

Meanwhile the world continues to spin.

Well this is for people serious about helping America and who have a job they love who want to quit. Simple. You must not be one of those people which means you don't love America. Do not have a job you love. And so maybe you shouldn't quit your day job.

Gatesta--In the spirit of your piece: I must confess that on occasion I have had my doubts about you in the past. I no longer do.

(Cheers for such a sustained work of raillery!)