Good, open-minded, reasonably witty piece - but the cod-literary ending rather flushed the effect down the bog for me. Why do I always get the impression that Hitchens half-fancies himself as a corpulent Augustan essayist with a Johnsonian benignity? Not that there's anything wrong with doing so, of course. There are worse things you could aspire to. So good on him - I genuinely believe in his good intentions, and I like the kind of pragmatic, yet witty, moral strength he's trying to cultivate in the public mind.
And if Johnson or Hazlitt had written, 'crouched awkwardly yet ecstatically while the cistern drips and the roar of the flush maddens him like wine', it would be entirely effective, of course.
Let's try it as free verse:

crouched awkwardly yet
ecstatically
while the cistern drips
and the roar of the flush
maddens him
like wine.

Goes quite well. From what dark well does this flush of poetry surge up? I think if Hitchens has been up to tricks in public bathrooms, he should come out with it. He might lose his pro-war knucklehead following in the US, but he'd gain a lot more of real value.

(From a heterosexual man who believes that he has right to have his world enriched by the free-thinking, creative gay community).

Good on you, Papa D; in the words of a 62-yr-old hetero granny who agrees with your rights and stands indignantly by you in your fight for free-thinking ... Yeah, man.

Oh, and cute verse, written that way.

That ending jumped right out at me too-- a little too purple, verging on the turgid. What can the prose flush, if the words themselves need flushing? Or something like that.