Non-verbal communication

By David E. Corbin, PhD

I better be careful what I do. The Omaha World-Herald recently reported that some Iowa high school football players were suspended from their first football game (later changed to a one-half game suspension) because they flashed a sign known as “the shocker” in their team photo. This is a hand gesture with graphic sexual meaning. Right about the same time U.S. Senator Larry Craig exhibited some other signs—tapping of his foot, touching his foot to another’s and then swiping his hand under the airport bathroom stall three times. The first sign, “the shocker,” could be mistaken, according to some people, as American Sign Language for the number seven, so maybe there was a disconnect between what the high schoolers were doing and why they were suspended, but it’s likely that someone on the team instigated the display even if all who flashed the sign didn’t know or understand the sexual nature of the sign.

I doubt, however, that I, personally, nor anyone else that I know, would accidentally tap a foot, touch another’s foot and wave a hand three times under the bathroom stall even if told to do so. So, how did Sen. Craig know the routine? Did he think he was playing Simon says? The hokey-pokey? Is that what it’s all about?

Here I am, a long time sex educator and a lifetime member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, and I am behind the curve to a bunch of small town Iowa boys and a 62 year old United States Senator (one year older than me). Regarding the Iowa high school football players, I’m not surprised that I am on the outs. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. That’s why we have all of those coming of age teen sex-tinged, gross out films. Kids like to gross out their elders and each other. That’s too often what kids do. That’s what Hollywood exploits. Kids like to make up new stuff to exclude and confuse adults. But how did Sen. Craig become so today—so happenin’? His bathroom ritual was as surprising to me as if Craig were to run into P. Diddy or Puff Daddy or Sean Combs or whatever his name is now, and not only would know how to address P but Craig would then proceed to correctly greet him with all the appropriate hand greetings (or whatever that stuff is called).

Never having been personally accused of being Mr. Hip with any segment of the population, I just wondered if maybe that’s what Sen. Craig was experiencing. He’s “not gay,” but he’s down with the gay scene. He’s a player. He was happenin’, then wham, he’s busted. Now he is on his way out of the Senate. Craig was as shocked as those teenagers (about 60%) who, along with former President Clinton, don’t believe that oral sex counts as sex—they equate oral sex with being abstinent. “Come on! We were just playing around! It’s not the real thing! Why is everyone so upset?”

So be careful out there. There is a chance that anyone’s random movements can be misinterpreted. I, however, believe that in both of these cases the signals were deliberate and studied. Nevertheless, I am going to be particularly cautious the next time I frantically wave my hands beneath a stubborn motion-activated paper towel dispenser in the airport bathroom. Who knows what signals I could be sending.