No wonder so many women suffer post partum depression in silence. The cruelty, vitriol and downright vileness that has been posted as a result of this woman simply being honest about her feelings is disgusting. Yes, it is not always easy for a woman who has not naturally been drawn to children to know "for sure" that she will love her child, but for those of us who have had children, we know how that love feels once the child is born. I admire her for being able to be honest and to say something that thousands of women have felt but have been afraid to express for fear of exactly the same kind of reaction as has been displayed on this board. I only pray other women will not be afraid to confide their feelings and to understand that they are NORMAL.

Doubts about whether you'll love your child are normal. But why have a child in the first place when you don't even like kids? It's one thing to be unsure about whether you'll bond to your baby. It's another to not even know if you want that baby in the first place.

ashley_virginia91:

Doubts about whether you'll love your child are normal. But why have a child in the first place when you don't even like kids? It's one thing to be unsure about whether you'll bond to your baby. It's another to not even know if you want that baby in the first place.

My thoughts exactly.

And this is just a personal feeling, not intended to be an indictment or a psychiatric diagnosis of abnormality, but, I don't really like people who don't like babies. It seems to me to be a gap in their basic humanity, and reveals either ignorance, neuroses or selfishness.

Again, just my feelings. Which, hopefully are normal.

travestine:

No wonder so many women suffer post partum depression in silence. The cruelty, vitriol and downright vileness that has been posted as a result of this woman simply being honest about her feelings is disgusting.

I only pray other women will not be afraid to confide their feelings and to understand that they are NORMAL.

I agree that people can certainly be unnecessarily cruel and judgmental, but I don't think it is cruel to say that these feelings are not normal. Post partum depression is not "normal." It is an illness and it should be addressed. It should be addressed with concern and kindness, but it shouldn't be dismissed as normal.

Suffer in silence? Can women not confide in their friends, family, and--just maybe--their husband? Slate is a national, non-Good Housekeeping publication and not a platform for hipster self-indulgence. If she chooses to make her personal life public, she should be prepared to hear what the public thinks of her, supportive or otherwise.

And all that has been said in reply to my original comment merely reinforces what I said to begin with - women can't say what they feel without being judged "inadquate" as women for not having feelings that are judged "normal" in the maternal sense by society. And other women are the worst when it comes to judgment.

@Texwiz:

You do yourself a disservice in judging people by their feelings on babies. I adore babies and cannot be stopped from making idiotic cooing sounds over them, but I know wonderful, giving people who do not like babies. You may miss out on wonderful friendships and relationships if you use this as a litmus test. Think about it?

lellephant:

You do yourself a disservice in judging people by their feelings on babies. I adore babies and cannot be stopped from making idiotic cooing sounds over them, but I know wonderful, giving people who do not like babies. You may miss out on wonderful friendships and relationships if you use this as a litmus test. Think about it?

I get your point, and I do appreciate it. Keep in mind, I don't necessarily ban people from my circle of friends if they don't like babies. I know a couple of people who are basically afraid to handle very small babies, but who are very engaged with toddlers, etc.

One such guy is actually, all things considered, one of the best fathers I know. But it's not that he doesn't like babies. He just feels inadequate at caring for them, and so is not quick to pick them up and coo, and so forth.

I draw a distinction between people who are not entirely comfortable with babies and those who actually dislike them, or find them irritating. So I make some allowances. But I stand by my original statement pretty much. The people I know who really don't like babies have, in my experience, shown me that there is an essential lack of feeling that makes me not like them.

travestine:

women can't say what they feel without being judged "inadquate" as women for not having feelings that are judged "normal" in the maternal sense by society.

Yeah, it's like, I can't say that I want to strangle and maim and kill people without people acting like I'm some kind of murderer or something.

Look, obviously, I'm not comparing post partum depression with murderous tendencies. But you seem to be saying that it is normal. It is not the norm. It should be treated. What we need is a more understanding viewpoint towards all mental illnesses. But trying to act like it's normal is counterproductive. It is not that uncommon, it should be recognized and treated, but it is not "normal."

I don't like people who don't like animals.

GVK4947:

I don't like people who don't like animals.

What about baby animals?