Sometimes people's problems are so trivial it is disgusting.

Wife wants husband to pay for costs of conception and he won't, obviously this guy is going to be miserly with any offspring and it sounds as if he doesn't want children or care that the wife does. Get a divorce and find a single father.

About the 18 year old grandchild who has never said thank you. Send the brat copies of other thank-you letters the rest of the brood have mailed along with a note. "We understand that you have never done this before but now that you are 18 people who do not love you as much as we do will probably be expecting thank you's for graduations, weddings, and even gifts which could be offered to you at work. We have a new policy which is to inform and educate our young adults thata thank you is expected, otherwise we don't know if the gift was received. So he is upset, so the parents are upset? Somewhere in one of the two generations grandparents missed the beat in etiquette. Expect courtesy, if you don't receive it, don't give any more gifts for a year. Try it.

How about the wife have a very serious face to face talk about this issue with her husband?

how about the grandparents have a very serious face to face talk to the grandkid?

And that seems to be a problem in both cases... ;-)

Of course, having taught high school in a former life, I know that having a "face to face" talk can be useless. That's why I suggested the interruption of gifts. Maybe that will be heard... Teens sometimes need a practical, tangible, and poignant reminder that all actions have repercussions and sometimes a little effort goes a long way.

I agree it wouldn't hurt to withhold the gifts, if the point of the gifts is to teach the kid manners rather than to show him they care about him. However, it would only be fair to give him a heads-up that a thank you is required before cutting him off, just as it would only be fair for the hopeful-father-to-be to be warned what the wife is pissed off at him for before she blows her stack. Of course, with her prescriptions, she's probably really hormonal, so he may just be attributing her moodiness to that.

I fail to understand why these so-called grandparents whine about not getting a thank you note or anything of that sort. Last I checked, the idea of a gift is to be selfless, not to being bowed to in return.

Even if it weren't the case, they themselves said that the boy lives in another city. Apparently they don't EVEN TALK to him in person, because they were told he's doing well in school, but he himself didn't tell them. Apparently they're unfamiliar with the invention called "telephone".

Before they started whining and complaining how their grandson living in another city who never hears from them other than receiving random gifts once or twice an year, they should pick up said phone and for example say "Hello, grandson? How are you?" and so on. Courtesy, after all, goes both ways.

Obviously, you didn't read the whole letter. They did try to contact him, by cards, letters and e-mails and he never responded to them. Not only did they send gifts, but also helped him with educational and travel opportunities.

It is to much to ask for a simple "thank-you" or to even respond to them when they write.

I just don't understand why people think it's such a burden to say "Thanks for thinking of me." or "Thanks, I received the gift--it was nice." or "Thanks for the gift--but I don't like that color or it was too small, etc."

You talk about courtesy, but feel that the kid should just forget about that.

If anything, it's due to laziness on his part.