Domestic Violence is the only crime where rendering the victim homeless is considered the remedy. Make the abuser leave. Jail them, then shelter the abuser in a facility that forces them into counseling, while tethering them on work release, and supervises their visitations with their children. Give the victim financial support to stay in their home. Expecting the victim to launch themselves from homelessness, to a shelter, to welfare, to employed and self-sufficient, kids in tow, within a matter of months, is not justice for the victim, their children, or society. It is a diplorable example to show children that victims have to run away. If the remedy is homelessness, the victim will not leave, not because they have low-self esteem, but rather because this is not justice. The abuser just finds another victim, the children watch more abuse of a new victim during visitation, therefore, you have not rescued the children from abuse, and society pays and pays. It's not about the abuser's property rights, it's about a society's right to declare standards of decency within their community. You abuse your spouse/significant other, you transfer your property rights to your victim, to your children, or to the community. Period!

I've never heard it put in just that way. I wonder why; it makes perfect sense. I wonder if our society still thinks, "a man's home is his castle."

"Why doesn't she leave" -- why can't he be forced to leave?

There are practical issues, of course, and sometimes this is actually accomplished after a long and expensive divorce proceeding. Yes, there are practical obstacles, but why isn't this way of thinking our best-case-scenario, our presumption of what would be just? Why do we think women who are in shock from violence, who may have kids in tow, who are commonly financially dependent to some degree, can pull off a feat of self-remaking that would be hard even for people in much more favorable circumstances?

Also, in response to the "why" -- in my experience, the most salient reason is that women know their batterer well and fear retaliation, if not against them, then against their friends or even elderly parents. They believe -- usually correctly -- that absolutely *everything* must be in place -- money, kids, job, car, etc -- for their plan to actually work. This is usually an accurate perception.

I grew up in a house with a lot of frightening domestic violence. As a teenager, I carefully hid my babysitting dollars and a spare set of keys (which I had made myself) to the family car -- which was old and unreliable. I accumulated up to $150. It's sad that I actually believed that this would help me escape in an emergency. No adult, responsible mother would have the same wishful thinking as I did about the feasibility of escape.

I had to leave, he wouldn't. In fact, that's what he screamed at me the day after I left.

There's a good reason he doesn't know where I live.

Since we know that females abuse their male partners at the same rate as males, it really boils down to who gets to the phone first...it does help in removing the social stigma men face when reporting abuse {the same reason some women don't report rape} and may compel the men to report at the same rate...

this is very true. the only reason i managed to escape the whole "remaking my life" when i left my abusive ex was because we (meaning: he. i had a good job where i was and hadn't had any luck finding a new one in the new city, but he decided he wanted to move and so that's what was happening) were already planning a move out of state. i simply decided at the last minute that i would rather stay where i was than start anew somewhere with him. if i had timed it any differently, he never would have left, and he never would have left me alone even if i had managed to kick him out (it was my name on the lease for the apartment, but that doesn't really mean anything when you have a master manipulator to contend with). i ended up paying rent on the place he moved into for an entire year, but it was worth it to get him out of my life for good.