Hairified isn't ready for a serious girlfriend yet, let alone a wife. He still needs his mother's approval for his feelings for this girl, based upon a clash of grooming opinions. Most likely, she'll break up with him before the summer.

Yeah, how dare he not want to horribly offend *both* his parents. He should get over this and start the next stage, rebellion. His next girlfriend will be a nudist who doesn't shower. I mean, how unreasonable are his parents to be embarrassed by that?

No, I think his request is perfectly reasonable. She is the one who has issues. Wanting to make a political statement by showing off your pubic hair to your significant other's parents is a bit much.

It didn't sound as if she wanted to show off her pubic hair to her boyfriend's parents -- just that she found no reason to shave, nair, wax or laser in a very tender area. Does he shave, nair, wax or otherwise remove his underarm hair (yuck). Or does he just go natural, as she wants to do, too.

Best idea: talk to her. Ask that she wears something more coverupable as his parents are very old-school. Boy shorts are big this year. Then fret about it.

SoMerry:

It didn't sound as if she wanted to show off her pubic hair to her boyfriend's parents --

I think that not trimming her pubic hair in any way and buying a tiny bathing suit IS wanting to show your pubic hair off. There are plenty of bathing suits that come with small shorts....

SoMerry:

just that she found no reason to shave, nair, wax or laser in a very tender area.

She doesn't have to shave directly on her vajayjay, nor does clipping irritate sensative skin. (I have quite sensative skin......) But I think that trimming her hair back is an extremely small task for her that would make her boyfriend much happier. Telling your significant other that you're not willing to spend five or ten minutes on a request certainly lets him know where he ranks.

to be able to declare the right and wrong of personal grooming for the ENTIRE WORLD. Yes, Americans know what's right, always!

How about the guys' parents are typical hypocritical American prudes, and the guy is quaking in his boots that they might find out that - wait for it! - not everyone thinks the human body is ICKY and should be shaved, pounded, and twisted into submission? Eh? Might not that be a plausible interpretation.

She doesn't want to conform to their pissy standards. I wonder how many of you would agree to foreign customs of dress and behavior when you're somewhere else. How many of you ladies would consent to wear a burka? Or the guys - if you visited certain parts of Africa, would you be willing to stick a plate in your lip? Or slash your dick and rub ashes into it? No?

Then get off your high horse about how she should "conform" to some idiotic notion of what is or isn't "shocking". If the guy's parents are shocked by a little hair, they're too childish by half. Let 'em grow up already.

If I were her, and my boyfriend revealed that I embarrassed him by my clothing and grooming, I would probably dump him and save us both the trouble of dealing with his uptight parents.

Best answer yet, Isonomist.

Serai, you sound like an infantile asshole. This is all American arrogance, hypocrisy, prudishness?

This woman is going to walk about with her PUBIC HAIR on display in front of her would-be husband's parents.

This is not about someone saying that the human body is "icky," you dipshit. This is about not displaying one's twat in inappropriate circumstances. By the way, even in enlightened Europe (assuming this "Mediterranean" woman is European), it is generally considered inappropriate for a guy to let his balls hang out of his swimsuit in public, especially in front of his significant others' parents. Not because it's "icky" or because Europeans are uptight prudes.

You'll notice that the letter writer does not seem to have a problem with the woman's leg hair or underarm hair, just the fact that her PUBIC HAIR is going to be spilling out of her tiny bikini.

Yes, Americans expect to adjust to most cultural norms when abroad, and they do. American women will in fact cover their heads in Muslim nations to show deference to and respect for customs of others, and etc.

This woman is in America, under these circumstances, she is the one who needs to adjust to the cultural norms she has found herself in, unless she wants to behave as the Ugly Mediterranean. Nobody is asking her to undergo a clitorectomy, you nitwit.

Serai:

How wonderful it must be to be able to declare the right and wrong of personal grooming for the ENTIRE WORLD.

I'm not talking about the whole world. I'm talking about the personal grooming of one individual with respect to the opinions of three individuals which she, theoretically, cares about.

Serai:

How about the guys' parents are typical hypocritical American prudes, and the guy is quaking in his boots that they might find out that - wait for it! - not everyone thinks the human body is ICKY and should be shaved, pounded, and twisted into submission?

You sound a bit bigoted there. Let's say his folks are a bit prudish. So what? He can't trade them for more liberal, hip parents. They are what they are. I think that asking your significant other to not show her pubic hair (or his, gender is irrelevant here) to your parents because it would make them uncomfortable, and thus make you uncomfortable and make the meeting go off less smoothly is not an unreasonable request. This is especially true if the LW and his girlfriend are thinking of getting married. Those will be her in-laws, regardless of how prudish they may be, and it's better if everyone gets along for those few days out of the year where they have to deal with each other.

Serai:

She doesn't want to conform to their pissy standards.

She's going to be their guest. As a guest, she should conform to their pissy standards WHILE she is there. If showing her pubic hair is so important to her that she can't cover it up or clip it for the trip, she shouldn't go.

Serai:

I wonder how many of you would agree to foreign customs of dress and behavior when you're somewhere else. How many of you ladies would consent to wear a burka?

If I were dating a Muslim guy who asked me to wear one while visiting his parents, I would. Just as my now husband and I stayed in seperate bedrooms when visiting his religous step MIL.

Serai:

Or the guys - if you visited certain parts of Africa, would you be willing to stick a plate in your lip? Or slash your dick and rub ashes into it? No?

Now you're talking about permenant body modification, which is another thing entirely and an absolutely ridiculous comparison.

Serai:

Then get off your high horse about how she should "conform" to some idiotic notion of what is or isn't "shocking". If the guy's parents are shocked by a little hair, they're too childish by half. Let 'em grow up already.

I like to sleep naked. I have done so since my early teens. Should I sleep naked when I share a hotel room with my friends or my husband's family? After all, they should grow up and realize it's perfectly normal.... The answer to that is, no, I shouldn't. It does no harm to put some clothes on to make people comfortable. It doesn't matter whether you think their objections are silly, those objections aren't going to go away. Certainly one is free to blow off the opinions of strangers, but if you decide to blow off the opinions of your significant other's parents because they are "childish" especially when conforming for a few days is a task of mere minutes, I guarantee you won't have a long lasting relationship.

True. Unfortunately she didn't write in. I wonder how much he actually said to her. He strikes me (from his letter) as a bit passive. Probably didn't even make it clear that he would be embarrassed. *RME*

I think the hypocrisy in this situation is that people are tempted to give this woman a free pass because she's a woman.... Imagine of the genders in letter #1 were reversed:

"Dear Prudie:

My hairy Euro boyfriend is about to meet my parents for the first time. He's very proud of his body and just bought a swimsuit that could double as an eyepatch. He refuses to groom at all 'down there' and says if my parents have an issue with it, it's their problem.' What do I do?"

Prudie and everyone else would be screaming for her to dump this guy, and rightfully so.

If the situation was reversed, I'd still say that the guy had a right to dump the g/f who wasn't accepting of him as he was.

The presentation of the g/f in the letter wasn't a straight "she's a hairy euro g/f" there was also implacations that the lack of "grooming" was due to political/personal beliefs/convictions. For it to be an equal letter in a reverse situation, the letter would have to read something like

"My hairy b/f has spent years studying the beauty of the natural human body. I love him as he is, but we're planning on spending lots of time with my parents at the beach this year. He's got a teeny tiny bathing suit that he wants to wear this summer, and I'm sure that those hairs will be bulging out all over. I'm convinced that my parents will be mortified. What do I do?"

I think the bigger issue addressed (or rather NOT addressed) in the letter is this concept that it's impossible to tuck hair in. It's flexible, folks, and unless you're wearing a bikini that is showing portions of your labia majora/mons, you should be able to do a decent enough tuck job when putting it on to keep from making it like the scene from the Sex and the City movie.
Could there be some potential hair slippage? Sure. Is it likely to scar parents for life? Probably not. Does the LW, and the fictional one above really need to re-evaluate how comfortable they are with their partner? ABSOLUTELY. Does the partner have the right to decide that this isn't the person for them because they can't respect something they feel strongly about? ABSOLUTELY.

Yes the letter was about the bikini line exposure. But there are definitely bigger things to work through in the relationship than modesty issues.

**implications

I'd be willing to bet no amount of tucking would suffice, otherwise he'd ask her to and that would be that. The fact that he specifies it's indeed an itsy bitsy bikini is kind of a dead giveaway kiddo.

He's been with the girl for months! If it really bothered him, he would have told her already or he would have gone running the first time they slept together. The only problem is the parents, and the pubes. She is the one being disrespectful here. She is a guest and meeting her boyfriend's parents for the first time. What if she were in Africa, or Iran? Would she still continue to be so immodest there? I would bet you anything she would be sensitive to the culture she was in and cover up because it is not appropriate. The fact that she refuses to do so here tells me much about her maturity level.

And about the person who posted that nonsense about the lip plates or rubbing ash into your penis-whenever you travel, no one expects you to adopt the culture of the place you are visiting, but they do expect you to have basic human respect and not be downright rude. If I were in Japan I would not purposefully leave my chopsticks sticking up in my bowl of rice. Stop with the exaggerations and leave an example that actually makes sense.