While I agree that the Dorm Girl’s behavior is over the top and rude, I cannot fathom that you didn’t give it to the LW; illegal drugs? Loud music? Underage drinking parties in the dorms? And yet you blame the DG for creating a “hostile living environment?” Everyone around her is breaking the rules, and not just minor infractions… things that out in the real world will get you arrested or fined. This girl probably just snapped, after seeing her RA ignore the rule breaking… Maybe a few too many sleepless nights because the girl down the hall was engaging in ear-splitting, wall-banging sex that could be heard at the other end of the building.

I’m really just flabbergasted. Again, her response (ugh Facebook, immature 18 year olds…) is part of the problem, but you seemed to let the LW off scott free! You didn’t even point that if you are rude and dismissive of a person by engaging in behaviors that are illegal or otherwise unacceptable (like loud music at odd hours in apartments with paper thin walls) you cannot be surprised when they react badly in return!

Or how about the fact that everyone turned on her because she did the right thing and reported someone SELLING DRUGS… My God Prudie, SELLING DRUGS!! Using federal tax payer money (scholarships and loans, unless his rich mommy and daddy are paying for everything) to dish out illegal substances, and you never even respond with a “Gee I wonder why he was so popular?” Especially since, generally speaking, the people who wander in to buy drugs are not usually savory people.

I-I’m just so twisted by your response I’m having trouble with coherent thought. Since when do you come down on the side of the spiteful, rude, and dramatic? (“I’m throwing underage drinking parties right across the hall late into the night when she's probably trying to sleep, but OH MY GOD she got mad at me and posted something on FACEBOOK! What a little bitch!”) I understand you trying to take the Dorm Girl’s behavior in hand, but absolutely no where do you rip the stuffing out of the LW for her own part of the problem!

I completely agree. I usually agree with most of Prudie's responses and think she takes a fairly sensible approach. This however seems quite uncharacteristic for Prudie not to give a bit of a telling off to the LW for condoning drug dealing and other anti-social behaviour. The LW could hardly have chosen an example to make readers less sympathetic to her cause, and yet Prudie came out in her defence and got stuck right into the Complainer. I agree that she probably will be the sort of person who has problems fitting in later in life, and that she seems to take it too far, but she certainly has justification for some of her actions and maybe she's been putting up with it all for too long and has had enough. Prudie, I think this one calls for a retraction, at least over the drug dealing issue.

ha, my feelings exactly. at first i thought she was being sarcastic...is she trying to be cool?

Ha ha, I have visions of a drug dealing Prudie, trying to be one of the "popular" ones!! No, it just doesn't work!!

In college, I worked for the school, and one of my next door neighbors was a big pot head. We shared a bathroom, and at some point in time, he started smoking pot in the bathroom, which stunk up his room, the bathroom, my room, and the hall. One day I got off of work and came home and found that half the hall reeked of pot. I immediately turned around and contacted the student housing office. The police came, and while the boy wasn't caught, his friend had to do some quick maneuvering to not get caught, and later, couldn't find his stash (worth over 100 dollars).

Afterwards, there was a group of people who thought I was the worst person ever. I simply stood my ground and said that I didn't know it was him, and since it was, why couldn't he have gone to the roof, garden, or off campus like the rest of the school. His roommate felt that I might have overreacted, but hated the smell of pot in the room. Eventually, most of the people who were really pissed either dropped out, or failed too many courses, and I went on to graduate and find a new group of friends.

Dorm Girl might have chosen to go to a party school, but even so, there's usually 24 hour quiet dorms. As much as it sucks, she might need to look into changing dorm rooms, or possibly schools (if she can). LW, however, needs to grow a pair and stop being such a follower.

You people really don't get the point of college do you

djyman15 wrote the following post at 04/10/2009 10:31 AM: You people really don't get the point of college do you Excuse me? Yes I get the point of college. I went for 13 semesters, mostly worked my way through - graduated with a BA in Chemistry (and no, not the kind you smoke) and an MS in Civil Engineering. Got drunk once as a freshman and paid dearly for it by being hung over for two weeks. Didn't do it again. Didn't use drugs. Learned how to be self sufficient and support myself once I graduated. Got and kept a job. That's the point of college. Those who go to get drunk and high and get back at Mommy and Daddy get what they earn.

really, thats interesting. I didn't know you couldn't have fun and be an upstanding citizen. Nor did I know that the puritan movement has come back to America. I worked my way through (20-30 hours a week, plus being a full time student). I took unpaid internships. I ran the school's literary magazine. And yet, somehow, someway, I still had fun on weekends. And I got a job right after I graduated. So what's your point? I'm on my way to a great career, plus I've already had more fun than you'll ever have.

You were not hung over for 2 weeks. That is physically impossible, so bring your lies somewhere else. Literally, you would have had to be drunk for about 4-5 straight days.

You only a kid once, and its pathetic to be doing those things in the middle of your life. Its best to get it out of your system while you can.

Are you a medical doctor djman? I didn't realize that the length of time drinking had anything to do with the length of a hangover. Now an allergic reaction, that might get 2 weeks but I guess that wasn't covered in your medical classes?

As for the rest, when you grow up a little bit more you'll find that there are all kinds of way to have fun. Some of them involved being plastered but there is a whole lot more variety out there for you to discover yet.

She didn't say "allergic reaction" she said hangover, and while I'm not a doctor, I have actually looked into this before on medical websites--you can become sick for 2 weeks from drinking a lot over an extended period of time, but one night? Not so much and you even admitted it by offering the allergic reaction explanation. Drew Pinsky would back me up on this.

Believe or not Susan, I'm well aware other ways to have fun and can participate in them sober. As I stated, I ran my college's literary magazine. I also played basketball, frisbee, and soccer when I had the chance, traveled through 9 countries in Europe, was a reporter for our college radio station, and enjoyed going out to enjoy going to movies, museums etc. Quite honestly, its people like the person I responded to that gave us a system where nonviolent drug offenders are rotting in prisons wasting our tax money instead of getting help, or not getting help since they may not have an actual problem. It's why I have to fear posting this to a certain extent.

And btw, I knew my share of dealers who sold to support themselves through school. And believe it or not they never beat up anyone, stole from anyone, owned weapons, etc. Couldn't be further from the truth. Why do I mention that? Because I used to be one of those people on the outside, who believed that any drinking was wrong, and smoking pot would make you lazy and destroy your brain. Those are lies spread by terribly insecure people who have nothing better to do than bask in their own self-righteousness. So you're telling me to see the world? Maybe you should make that same suggestion to the person you're defending.

Shemhazai:

Afterwards, there was a group of people who thought I was the worst person ever. I simply stood my ground and said that I didn't know it was him, and since it was, why couldn't he have gone to the roof, garden, or off campus like the rest of the school. His roommate felt that I might have overreacted, but hated the smell of pot in the room.

There are many people who get headache from breathing second hand pot smoke. Others who can't do pot because they get panic attacks. Good for you for standing your ground.

i don't have a problem with prudie's response at all. i did my share of drinking and smoking pot in college, like a lot of others, and i graduated cum laude and am doing fine today.

the issue here isn't that these kids are living in a drug-infested, dangerous place, it's that they're a bunch of kids engaging in mostly harmless fun, but are being terrorized by someone with nothing better to do than tattle on them and harass them. i worked with a woman much like the girl complained about in the letter. she made it her mission to stalk around the office and write down every instance of every employee's indiscretions, whether it be looking at the internet during work hours, making personal calls, what have you. this is somewhat understandable behavior from a boss--but from a part-time employee that entered the company a month before? not at all.

i suppose i just see the similarities in the behavior of the tattletale from the letter and the tattletale from my office--at the end of the day, moral superiority becomes more important to them than anything else. trust me, even if these kids were angels, this girl would more than likely find something to complain about. whipping up an atmosphere of fear and hostility seems more damaging to the hall in question than a little underage drinking and normal, raucous college behavior. just my opinion, however.

reporter for our college radio station

I see what kind of fun you had... you were captian of the nerd patrol, der der der....

You are one of those people who constantly need to brag about every little thing you did in your life that makes you so special. If you had so much fun in school, that would be enough in and by itself and you wouldn't need to brag about it.

It's why I have to fear posting this to a certain extent.

Apprently all those drugs did do some damage, they made you abnormally paranoid. People get on nationally televised talk shows and admit they are currently dealing drugs, yet you are afraid to post anonymously on the internet? Wow, you sure do sound like a lot of fun, Mr. rebelious.

When I was a freshman in college, I could hardly wait to get out of the dorms and into a rental apartment because of the partiers. I could not study in my room because there was usually a party going on down the hallway, and heavens, what abuse and rudeness was directed at me if at 2AM before an 8 AM class I pounded on a door and asked them to please turn the music down. What RA? Where?

And I agree on reporting the guy for the drugs. There are wayyyy too many d___ drugs available! I live in a college town and deal with drunk and high-on-drugs students in our local park all the time. They are DANERGOUS. Good on the girl for reporting the drug dealer!!! I would have, too!

DJ is the only one here with any sense. I don't know what school amalthea goes to, but is he sure that these are college students? At my school, which I am sad to say is one of the biggest party schools in the nation, there has been a heroin and a coke ring busted here, and pot is everywhere, yet I've never seen this whole drug addicts on park. and we even have townies with meth labs all around this redneck area. That doesn't discount it may happen somewhere, though. I just haven't had to be there. unless it's south bend indiana. Then that enters a whole new realm of suck and explanation for amalthea's post.

I know how irritating it is sometimes to be surrounded by loud crazy college kids. That's probably why I never actually lived in the dorms, and live very far out of town now. I think Amalthea confuses the pure stupidity of a group of 20,000 18-22 year old, often dominantly upper middle white class kids, are given carte blanche to an unsupervised 4 years of drugs alcohol and sex. with no parents around, some kids suddenly feel like no on else can tell them what to do.

But the drugs in college aren't the problem. it's the lack of education. oh, and the idiots, but that's the real thing about college. It's not the partiers for me, it 's the lazy kids who can't read an assignment at all, and then expect the professor to give them extra credit. Who get mad when they haven't been to class for 2 months, then fail the test, etc. But I also go to a school where almost every time I read the horrible student paper, there is a major spelling error on the front page or editorial page headlines.