I must be out of touch. This letter goes beyond the simple "asking for support" that I'm accustomed to from missionaries. I get the definite impression that, two years from this letter, if Mr. Haggard "has been thwarted by the Evil One in all of my righteous attempts to provide for my family," (his future words) someone will be called upon just like this to "take up the plate" again. I mean, assuming he doesn't have to pay room and board (courtesy of living at the halfway house) and his mansion is paid off, the other expenses are tuition (financial aid will help there, I'm sure) and transportation--well outside the means of a college student. Honestly, how do those poor students at the Univ. of Phoenix pay their bills?

Wait a second. University of Phoenix...that's not located just in Arizona. It's an online university, with campuses--okay, business offices--in many states, including two in Colorado, where, if he was really desperate, he could return to his mansion and still attend school. In fact, because most of the classes are "held once a week," in order to allow people to work, I'll bet Mr. Haggard could get a job doing any number of service-related activities. I happen to know that McDonalds is hiring at up to $15/hr!

Of course, there is the stigma issue. It's hard to put the family through that. But apparently, it's easier to put them through a halfway house with ex-cons. Which brings up another troubling point: I have deep misgivings about not only this man's decision to re-enter the ministry, working--even living with--people, who, as he puts it, "relate" to him in some ways that truly don't define "faithful," but what in heaven is his wife thinking going along with this thinly-veiled ploy?

Oh, and, if anyone wants to send my family money, post a response here and I'll set up a meeting whereby my friend and I can facilitate some tax-evasion options for you. I'm sure the government can't read between the lines. After all, it's legal if it's for a good cause, right?