The person who stole her friend's boyfriend is annoyed that her ex-friend "hit ignore" to her magnamious apology; she thinks that this person is being "immature" in not welcoming her with open arms. What is going on is that she has hit a stage in her life where she is thinking about her teen years, and wants to reconnect, and she wants to feel better about herself and her actions. She doesn't really care about this person's feelings, because if she did, she wouldn't be annoyed at her for not answering. ie "Oh, I am so great and kind for admitting that I was a complete ass and likely ruined a long period of time for this person when she was in high school; HOW DARE she not answer me! HOW DARE she not give me the forgiveness that I deserve for being so kind!  Because, after all, it is ALL about me!"  The bad advice part is that I honestly think that using facebook connections to find her home address and write her a letter is creepy and borderline stalking; the person made her feelings completely clear by not answering, to force yourself into her life would only prove what a self-centered tool you are. I know-I had someone who was unbelievably cruel to me try and do the same thing, and was very annoyed that I did not answer her; it's not immature, it is simply saying "You were a toxic person in my life; I have no desire to interact in anyway with you, please respect that and leave me alone."

Wow, dude .... you have issues! Sometimes a person just DOES feel bad about something they've done and wants to say, "Hey, I'm really sorry!" Not just to clear their own conscience but so that they can BOTH move on and let some bad feelings go. Remind me to NOT apologize to you .... because for sure, it would be all about ME!!

I was bullied a bit in high school too but I've never considered it "toxic!!" If a person can be mature enough to step out of their own pain a little bit, you can look at it from a distance and use it as a growing experience. But if they are deliberately putting up a wall to make sure somebody is going to wallow in whatever grief they may have caused, seems as though it's all about THEM. "No, I won't LET YOU apologize to me because I want you to feel awful for the rest of your life about what you did to ME!!" That seems pretty toxic to me!!

Seems to me if folks can open up to forgiveness on BOTH sides of the matter, much can be gained toward letting go of anything "toxic." I don't think the LW was looking to be the newest BEST friend. She just wanted to say I did a rotten thing and I'm sorry. So they could BOTH feel better.

Maybe the person who blocked the LW is over it, but just doesn't see any reason to be friends with the person. You can send message on Facebook without becoming someone's friend. I personally don't see the point of adding people as friends whom you know you don't really care if you have them if your life -- if they aren't someone you could possibly want to speak to on a regular basis, are you really going to want to read their status updates? Look at their pictures?

I primarily joined Facebook, only about a month ago, because I wanted to ease my transition when I get out of the Army and move to New York, and it seemed like the easiest way to do that from Iraq. But I confirmed friend requests from people who, honestly, I'm never going to see, and I don't really care about what's going on in their life every couple hours. Maybe more people should keep that in mind -- your friend request might be ignored because you just aren't that important to the person you're trying to "friend."

Actually, I'm with rndrc on this one. You're right - this person is almost certainly just trying to make themselves feel better after the gnawing guilt has been brought home to them - possibly by something similar happening to their own child. I have no desire to make those who made my life grim feel any easier about it. If any of them attempt to "friend" me I shall feel no compunction at ignoring them. The best thing they want to offer is apologies to make themselves feel better, but the worst could well be a desire to convince themselves that they didn't really do anything wrong. I found that ignoring them was the only thing that worked when I was at school, so that's what I recommend now.

Living well is the best revenge.

You're acting like unless Blocked apologizes, Bliss in Exile can't "move on," when it's clear from the original letter she worked it out on her own and just wants nothing to do with the folks who were nasty to her back in the day.

I'm with rndrc. It's pretty damn self-absorbed to think someone who by all rights is probably glad to have you permanently extricated from her/his life wants to be involved in your apology drama. If Blocked was looking to apologize out of actual altruism then getting the ignore response to the friend request is a clear "not interested" signal. It takes two for it to mean something to BOTH of them. Sometimes the past is the past and you're wasting other people's time by trying to dredge it up.

Beyond that, if you read the original letter, it's pretty obvious Blocked is gilding the lily when it comes to her behavior in high school. Sounds like she did a lot more than "a rotten thing." I don't see why Bliss should be responsible to clue Blocked in how that one thing is just the tip of the iceberg. That would be awfully tedious.

"Seems to me if folks can open up to forgiveness on BOTH sides of the matter, much can be gained toward letting go of anything "toxic."

Who's to say that the blocker hasn't ALREADY dealt with it. I kinda think it's likely that she has, in the intervening years, gotten over the whole thing. Thus, she doesn't have a whole lot to gain from this.

Quite frankly, why should the block friend this woman? It's hardly her obligation or responsibility to listen to someone else throw out an apology so that they can feel better about themselves. She may well reserve her friends list for, you know, FRIENDS.

Blocked needs to see a shrink, or go to church, or walk in the woods, or do whatever it is she needs to do to get over this, and to get over herself. She sounds pretty narcissistic, and that's never a fun or pleasant trait.

Partylike020909:

Maybe the person who blocked the LW is over it, but just doesn't see any reason to be friends with the person.

If most of the people who were problems for me in school, I wouldn't even recognize half the names, even if they used their maiden names, which not everyone on Facebook does.