...at least you want to have a family. I know of several similar marriages and the women always declines to have children and just spends her free time spending his money. I suspect these guys know the score, but are reasonably happy with the relationship. I mean, consider their alternatives.

Most won't get by the "yuck factor" in this, but you must think of the potential children. Even with a sunny personality and intelligence, things are pretty bleak in our society for those who don't make the grade, in the looks sweepstakes. And its only getting worse - in fact much worse due to the recession. That's when employers restock their "key" people. They can afford this because those who are not laid off can be coerced to work twice as hard as in average times. I've lived through this and have several good examples.

Furthermore, people's looks is THE prime consideration when they get together to have children. To any observant person, the trend is quite evident. Don't take what I say at face value. Go to any school with a long history of class pictures on the wall. You'll see immediately that the trend is quite pronounced. It would be overwhelming if we didn't have such a high rate of immigration. Recent immigrants still have the old country influence to breed. When that dies out, they become like us, pair up according to looks with those not making the grade either remaining single or having very few children.

Dear RealConservative,

This liberal thinks you're completely out to lunch!! Looks might initially attract us to one another, but it takes something MUCH more compelling and substantial than that which is skin deep to sustain a real relationship for any length of time. And if one is going to reproduce and have progency they really care about (other than what they look like), the relationship should certainly be based upon something more than a person's ability to sire handsome offspring.

That's progeny, not progency ..... fingers got ahead of my brain!

But that’s the real Catch 22 isn’t it rxmatila? “Looks are what attract us in the first place…” So if you don’t have good looks, no one will ever be “initially” attracted to you (with or without a sunny disposition), and thus you will never even have the chance to procreate. I’m biased, because I’m an ugly girl, but I’ve never seen anyone taunted in high school for having an “f*cking ugly personality.” (And yes, high school is not life, but it is an excellent micro world of everything selfish, insecure, and cruel about human nature.)

Not necessarily, student. This isn't quite the same as a romantic relationship, but the premise is the same. Some years ago, I worked in a clerical capacity for a company that also had route drivers. The drivers not only delivered goods, but also were encouraged to try to sell additional items.

There was one man that was the typical "good looking" guy, Mike. Then they hired this other man, Steve. Steve was extremely unattractive and quite underweight. I remember thinking Steve must be one of the ugliest guys I had ever seen and wondered how customers would react to him as far as sales.

Well, Mike proceeded to show what a complete ass he could be. Always complaining, having temper tantrums, could never admit to making a mistake-it was always someone else. After he and his wife had a baby, he was even worse. I sort of think he was jealous of the attention his wife showed the baby. He also started constantly berating his wife. She came by the office with the baby and she was the sweetest natured woman. I got tired of hearing his mouth and told him to shut the f up about his wife. Nobody wanted to hear it. He and I were constantly arguing after that. I was stuck doing his paperwork and I begged my boss to switch him to someone else. Thank God she did. I guess she figured we would kill each other!

Steve, on the other hand proved to be a delightful person. He was funny, kind and if you pointed out an error in his paperwork, he didn't blow a fuse. He listened. Before long, I didn't see ugly anymore.

We were all married, but had we all been single and I was given the opportunity to date either Steve or Mike, who do you think I would have picked? Hands down, Steve.

You also have to realize beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Not everybody goes for the Brad Pitt's and Angelina Jolie's. I never much went for the so-called 10's myself. Maybe I am weird but Conan O'Brien appeals to me a whole lot more than Brad Pitt. Maybe it is his personality, but I find him attractive. My friend said "ugh!" when I said that. Well your "ugh!" might be my "woo!"

The LW is just plain shallow. Suppose she had all these (what she perceives as) beautiful children, but they all had a serious mental disability. Would that be o.k.? Or do they have to be a "10" there, too? I'm not so sure this woman needs to have children, adopted or otherwise. Of course I considered my boys to be the most beautiful babies ever born, but my oldest was a preemie. I was far more concerned with his health than what he looked like.

Finally, someone once told me-don't put yourself down. There are enough people who will do it for you. Don't call yourself ugly. Be like my buddy, Steve and let your inner beauty shine through. It will reach to the outside too.

Have to agree with you rxmatilda. Real conservative is really out there. I had to laugh at the part about employers keeping the more attractive employees over the less attractive. Unless it is an escort service or something like that, I really don't see it happening.

No it isn't. If you're still in high school then you have no idea what you're talking about.

rxmatilda:

That's progeny, not progency ..... fingers got ahead of my brain!

That's called masturbation.lol

"Maybe I am weird but Conan O'Brien appeals to me a whole lot more than Brad Pitt."

You're not that weird at all. In survey after survey, women say that a great sense of humor is one of the top most attractive features in a guy. Plus, you can tell he's smart, you need that to have a quick wit.

The truly funny dorks and geeks can still get babes. It doesn't just happen in the movies.

Looks fade, then what are you left with? Hopefully, someone who can make you laugh on your worst day, and keep up their end of a good conversation.

Realconservative: "I know of several similar marriages and the women always declines to have children and just spends her free time spending his money"

Dont you know any women who works? For that matter don't you know anyone who has children? Which century are you living in?

Sand,

Out of curiosity how did Steve and Mike compare in sells? My guess would be Mike started out good initially but probably had problems with customer service (unless he could turn the sauve on if he really wanted to) while Steve started out poor due to looks but got better as customers got to know him.

NSCanuck:

No it isn't. If you're still in high school then you have no idea what you're talking about.

She's dead right. If she's an ugly girl, don't mislead her into believing life after high school will be any different for her. High schoolers who are shallow, petty and mean become shallow, petty and mean adults, and a homely girl isn't going to get treated any better by such people in her 20s or 30s than she is now. She has a realistic view of how people treat homely women (and no, I'm not a high schooler, and I've never been pretty). She'll need to seek out the minority of men who actually care about women as human beings, rather than as pieces of a**, if she wants to be valued for something other than her looks.