LW#1 - On the one hand, you sound like a very sweet, loving woman and i honestly wish you all the best. On the other hand, it appears that your boyfriend's brains are as weak as his bladder. I'm still trying to figure out how you piss in someone's bed THREE times and remain convinced that no one has noticed. Sure, the first time you can try to pass it off as a massive nocturnal emission. Wet dreams are, after all, a great mystery to most women. The second time perhaps you can cover it up by "accidentally" spilling your first cup of morning coffee, or blame it all on the suddenly incontinent cat. But by the third time the source of those pesky mattress stains should be apparent to all. That's when you say, "Honey, it's OK. And by the way, I don't actually own a cat."

LW#2 - You are one of the very few letter writers who has a genuine problem worthy of serious advice, and it is exceedingly hard to find humor in terminal cancer, so rather than try let me pause briefly to once again ridicule the bedwetter from LW#1. Three times? Dude, girls get suspicious when you volunteer to wash their sheets, especially before they have even gotten out of bed. Remember, real men don't wash their own sheets, let alone someone else's. Now back to the letter at hand. Don't tell your siblings (yet), but do confide in a family friend or minister to get a thoughtful, independent opinion. The burden your mother has placed on you is too much to bear alone.

LW#3 - C'mon, Mom! Why wouldn't you and your future in-laws both sacrifice your life savings to provide Junior and his Bridezilla with the wedding of their dreams? Don't they deserve everything they want, regardless of merit, reason, effort or cost? Don't we all? Oh wait! Sorry, that was last year's zeitgeist. Now we are all lucky if we have a pot (or perhaps a girlfriend's bed) to piss in. You might want to point that out to Junior.

LW#4 - I may have missed something with all the bad news these days, but who exactly made you queen and granted you the power to judge anyone, let alone your mother? And how, exactly, could anything to do with your mother scare your boyfriend away? Did he research your family tree before you started to date? Would he refuse to marry you because your great-grandfather was a peasant, or your uncle went to jail once? I don't see why not, if he run away because your mother is happily remarried. That suggests either (a) you are mistakenly transferring your own judgmental attitude to him or (b) his commitment to you is exceedingly shallow. If you want to know what true love really is, go back and read LW#1. Seriously. That woman is sleeping in urine and she DOESN'T CARE. She wouldn't be scared away if her boyfriend's mother turned out to be a Barbary ape. And, frankly, neither should your boyfriend. Stop being silly.

Once again, Texvol, outstanding responses. :-) I was going to say, "...particularly to #4." But that''d somehow make it seem like the other three weren't wonderfully inspired, too. So, just, "wow" to all of them! :-)

Very funny. You have earnt a non-bent thumbs-up, sir. Now if you'll excuse me, i have to get back to finishing my rather hilarious post about pedophilia.