I think that the grandfather of the rude 18-year old is severely overreacting. He's a teenager, lets not forget that. Teenagers tend to be baaaaad at social interactions. It could be that he's going through a "sturm und drang"-depressive period like most people do sooner or later, it could be that he's just going through a hormone-fueled rude phase, or it could just simply be that he doesn't really understand the social conventions. Teenagers are like that. Maybe he's just the quiet, shy type who doesn't really like to engage with other people. That's ok.

I remember when I was that age, I frequently forgot stuff like this. I'd get a gift from my grandparents, pocket the money and then I'd go back to worrying about girls and school and other teenage stuff. I wasn't being rude, I was just young. My family understood that.

Frankly, I think the behaviour of the grandfather is rather extreme. He's your grand-kid. Swallow the bitter pill and accept that 18-year-olds doesn't always behave like we'd want them to.

if Gramps ever bought it up to his own son or daughter (the grandson's parents) when the kid was little...you know, when it might have made a difference.

These social interactions are TAUGHT, did anybody ever teach this boy?

however, he may not have been taught what is polite. so i question what is up with his parents. and as i said in previous post, did he acknowledge at all? it takes two seconds to call grandma or pa. or to write an email. because as a teenager i'm sure those are two activities he engages in. i'm bad about contacting people too. especially about things that i have to go out of my usual pattern for- like buying cards and putting them in the mail. but i know enough and appreciate people enough to at least do the minimal- which is acknowledgment and thanks in some way shape or form. anything else is just rude. and people can be as rude at 8 18 as they are at 80. and vice versa.

if i were grandma and he wasn't acknowledging me at all, i'd just cut him off till he did. no biggy. why would you want to give him anything in the first place? obviously not that close to him. not all young people disrespect their elders. when i was 18, i didnt want to party with my grandma/pa. but i did love them. and respect them. because thats how i was raised.

Being a teenager means that continued, entrenched rudeness is acceptable? Not in my world. He should have been taught as a small child to write thank you notes for Christmas and birthday gifts. If he wasn't, that's mom and dad's fault. If I were grandpa/ma I'd just stop sending gifts. You can teach a teenage dog new tricks.

Being a teenager means that continued, entrenched rudeness is acceptable?

Nobody said that, they simply said, , well, you can read the header as well as I can type it again for you.

If I were grandpa/ma I'd just stop sending gifts.

The apparently you are even more materialistic than the teenager, which I find humorous. Even stranger, is how you accept that it may be the parent's fault, but still feel cutting off the child is a viable soloution. and we wonder why the generation gap is growing. .

Had one like that, the other's much more social. The one who was less "polite" learned a hard life lesson in the need for family, fortunately, it wasn't via petty grandparents. Unfortunately, it cost him his life in the long run. I was trying to intimate that in Isolutions. A lot can happen in a short life.

I can't think of any instance where it is acceptable to not even acknowledge a gift. My brother and his wife never even shoot me an email to let me know the package arrived, which I think is beyond rude. It makes it hard for me to put my heart into gifts for them.

My parents had me call my grandparents as soon as I opened a gift to thank them for whatever it was and tell them how much it meant to me. It takes 5 minutes and costs nearly nothing to say thank you, but it means the world to the gift-giver.

Maybe they didn't ask for the gift. Maybe there is a larger communication problem that gifts cannot simply override.

They've sent money for his trips and other activities. Obviously, at least Grandma is involved enough to know and care what the grandkids are involved in, and cares enough to give toward those interests.

Grandfathers do tend to be more pragmatic. Actually, I'd guess it's more his generation of men, and not all grandfathers everywhere. I'd also guess that if it were a granddaughter, he'd be less eager to cut her off, since the older generation was raised that girls are to be atken care of and men are to do the care-taking.

It wouldn't hurt for him to write the grandson and tell him that "it hurts your grandmother that she never knows if you've received the gifts we sent, or if you like them. Can you please just call or e-mail to let us know from now on?"

Let's not forget that sometimes old people can suddenly act magnanimous as grandparents but were actually horrible parents when they were younger.

The grandparents need to roll up their sleeves to get to the bottom of the problem with their family. This would require not being afraid of finding out something that they my not like. Throwing money around is not not necessarily an indicator of goodness.

because you're going to make someone a great grandparent one day. I mean, you know.

I agree a little slack and a little humor and a little nudge and lots of love are all in order here.

How about including a self-addressed, stamped, fill-in-the-blank thank you note with the next gift? Include smiley faces if needed to show the love. If it doesn't come back, follow up with a phone call to make sure the gift arrived. Let the boy know that the acknowledgement helps you feel better because it lets you know he received the gift!