Somebody's awfully focused on "me, me, me". What matters is whether the wife is sure she should be an egg donor: her body, her decision. She will have to inject herself with massive doses of hormones, so it would behoove her to research the donation process before making a commitment. But ultimately it should be up to her.

Oh give me a break with this "her body" bullshit. They are married so he has a vested interest in this issue. Marriage is about WE, not ME.

Your point about doing some research is valid. They should both look into it some more and not just jump in feet first.

Unless there's some future fertility risk at stake with her egg donation, I don't see how her decision will affect him at all (well, other than having a cranky, hormonal wife, but most people have to put up with that once a month anyway). And if she can make some money from this, he'll actually benefit because it will give a small boost to their income.

No to mention she can't have any intercourse (protected or otherwise) while she's going through the process, and may still be hyper-fertile (multiple eggs) after she's been "harvested." She also can't put a whole list of things - including many medications - into her body, as I understand it.

"Oh give me a break with this "her body" bullshit. They are married so he has a vested interest in this issue. Marriage is about WE, not ME."

Uh, civil rights are not 'bullshit'. Women can still have control over what they do with their bodies even IF they get married. It's even legal in the US.

Good grief, I thought attitudes like that towards 'the little woman' were dying out...then I read this crap and realize that's not the case.

apropos1:

"Oh give me a break with this "her body" bullshit. They are married so he has a vested interest in this issue. Marriage is about WE, not ME."

Uh, civil rights are not 'bullshit'. Women can still have control over what they do with their bodies even IF they get married. It's even legal in the US.

Good grief, I thought attitudes like that towards 'the little woman' were dying out...then I read this crap and realize that's not the case.

And you know what? Husband has a "civil right" to dump the bitch if she makes a decision about her body that affects him negatively.

..because only an asshole would think that he deserves to make decisions about another human being's body.

Eh...it's not that he should make the decision, IMO, but that his wife considers his feelings. If my husband decided to donate sperm, I wouldn't tell him what to do, but I would expect him to discuss it with me and think about my opinion on the subject before going out and doing it.

I also think we are reading a little too far into the letter....it didn't read that way to me at all!

As a person who has donated eggs in the past, I can assure you they wouldn't qualify as a couple anyway.

Before the process even begins, you have to sit with a panel of doctors, including psychiatrists that really question why you are doing this. My husband, then my boyfriend was questioned as well. The question of, "These could potentially be your children" did come up, and we still were fine with it (actually found it amusing). This husband has reservations-as a result, they would be disqualified right away.

I'm with him on this one. These decisions should be made together, not separately. If people want to make decisions based solely on their desires without input from anyone else, they shouldn't be in a serious relationship. If it affects her, it affects him. They both need to discuss their options and come to a joint conclusion.

...when he chose not to even TRY to make a living. At this point, he'd better be thanking the Heavens that she hasn't kicked him out and made him fend for himself.

A Prediction:

1. He will continue to sponge off her until she gets frustrated with being the sole support to a reasonably well-educated able bodied man who sits on his ass staring at a blank computer screen all day.

2. She will eventually start to tune him out, because who wants to listen to adolescent whining from a grown man?

3. He will start hunting for another 20-year-old, because at that point, he'll be in his mid-30s and no woman his own age will go near him. He has to suck them in young because only little girls will fall for the "tortured artist" routine. Grownups know that artists his age are either failures who are never going anywhere or happily sell the occasional piece of work while they keep their day jobs.

4. His wife will have a longstanding affair, so that when he finally takes off with the little girl, she'll breathe a sigh of relief and reveal that she already has packing boxes for his collection of artfully torn and stained clothing.

5. He'll try and get some of the money she earned, but will fail when she reveals that she has been his sole support since she was a student.

Lovethedoggies:

Eh...it's not that he should make the decision, IMO, but that his wife considers his feelings.

Exactly. If my husband were healthy enough even to be a plasma donor, I think he at least should hear my concerns (about his health and long term effects on his body) before he were to begin donations, even if I think it's a bad idea, but he decides to do it anyway.

In fact, there are a lot of decisions which are the "property" of only one of us, but which we discuss beforehand. Whether to take or to quit taking various medication; whether to have medical procedures, tests or surgeries done; whether to take or to leave a job; whether to buy or to sell a life insurance policy and how that would affect our current financial state. It's still the responsibility of the one directly affected to decide, but the partner has the right to some input on the decision, even if they don't have the final say.