Did I just read that correctly? Prudence wants these children to begin contributing to a retirement fund so their parents can continue to not earn money as they see fit? Perhaps these children should be contributing to their own retirement funds, while the parents save for their own. That sounds like a truly dreadful and selfish cycle to begin - living entirely beyond your means, expecting that your children will spend their lives not doing likewise, but instead working hard to care for you and their own families at the same time. A favor here and there is one thing, but spending your future providing for that of your in-laws is too much to ask of anyone. I'd suggest this woman start saying "no" to enabling these irresponsible people.

They successfully raised their children. They own a business, not specified what. However, most businesses are struggling now. Medications for Mom probably cost more, as well as her insurance or any medical bills. Even if they have a retirement plan, it's probably been stripped.

I'd guess at least half the country is one major illness away from bankruptcy. My daughter's illness ruined us, and just as we started to come out of that, my husband became disabled.

There but for the grace of God, and all that!

It's not like they owe their parents anything, eh?

















Idiot.

I agree. Do you know that the Apache don't have a word for retirement ?

Them or the Aztecs.

Since when is poverty a crime? Though the selfish daughter-in-law claims that the parents "chose" to operate a meagre and hopeless business, did the parents understand that it was hopeless, or was there chances of success? There are no guarantees in whatever job a person has, but it seems to me like these parents did the best they could and worked hard, and obviously they raised good kids.

What is wrong with children helping out their parents? Who raised the children? Who worked hard, sacrificed, poured their hearts and souls and energies into providing for them? Why can that not be remunerated? At least they worked, which is more than what can be said for a whole lot of people in this country. Redneck debutante, I truly hope that you have a foolproof financial plan of your own, because with your attitude towards others, I highly doubt anyone will be willing to help you if things go sideways.

I know, right? I mean, shelling out $40 for a water heater. And then next year, who knows, they might be asked to contribute $60 or $80 for a roof job. What craziness! Where does it all end! I mean, by the end of ten years, the letter writer and her husband might have been asked to give out over a grand to the in-laws! What greedy bastards those parents are! I think Prudie should've just advised the letter write to send out an e-mail to the siblings and say, "Listen, we need to cut 'em off the dole now. We're just enabling something that easily going to cost us a grand or two before it's over!"

Or, you know, she could give up cable for two months and pay for her share of the in-laws' needs for two or three years from the sound of it. Yeah, I go with cutting 'em off. Makes sense.

It seems they do manage to support themselves, but barely get by. Once in a while an emergency pops up and the kids take up a collection. With the economy as it is a lot of businesses are suffering.

Have you all told your children yet that you plan to waste your money now and live off them when you get older? Let me know how that goes. I know some of you think I'm being harsh here, but let's keep in mind that we're not talking about an occasional favor here. Prudie is suggesting that these children create a retirement fund for their parents. I've lent a hand when times are hard, too.

IBut is my retirement plan in any better shape than mom's? Is there some special economic secret I've been hoarding that kept my finances intact while hers disappeared without her control (otherwise known as spending more than you make)?

I'm not wealthy; my husband and I work very long hours to make ends meet, contributing as much as we can to our retirement funds and making do without things when we don't have the money. When my job didn't pay enough to support my family, I didn't ask my children to poney up their allowance so I didn't have to find another, economically feasible job. I gave up what I was doing and stepped up to the plate like a big girl.

Sure, my parents raised me, but does that mean I've signed on for a life of servitude until they die and I'm left then with their bills?

Economic downturns do not appear nor disappear overnight. These folks need a plan, maybe it's downturning the expenses to match the income or maybe it's something else. But planning to live off your children is not a plan I'd be proud of. When they run through all their chidren's money, do they then go after the grandchildren? Times are hard for all of us. It's time to grow up and plan accordingly, like I've had to do.

Gee, I'm glad that redneckdebutant isn't one of my children!!!!!

Did you ever stop to think that those parents did not have the same benefits that we have now? There wasn't 401'ks back then, there wasn't as readily available credit back then, they had to pay cash if they wanted or needed something, they didn't have employer matching retirement funds. Health & dental insurance was almost non-existant or unaffordable then. Maybe they did work hard & save their money but lost it in the stock market or swindled by their financial savings company? Maybe one of them got sick & had to use their retirement savings to pay medical bills? Maybe they were helping out their parents & was unable to save for their retirement. Possibly they spent their savings to pay for the wedding of their son & bitch DIL. You are pretty fucking harsh without knowing the whole situation.

It is very common for kids to help out their elderly parents. Looks like to me those kids have more compassion & respect for their parents then you could ever hope for.

Bitter much?

Ditto on the name. I see your parents did a lovely job with you.

Seems they whelped a sociopath.

redneckdebutante:

Did I just read that correctly? Prudence wants these children to begin contributing to a retirement fund so their parents can continue to not earn money as they see fit?

I'd suggest this woman start saying "no" to enabling these irresponsible people.

Yeah, let the stupid old people starve!

You, redneckdeb, are not a nice person. Sorry, but this is pretty much unanimous based on your statements here.

Children do have an obligation to their parents when they're older, just as parents do to their children when they're young. What about this do you not understand? In any event, I'm glad I'm not your parents.

Funny thing is...I know a lot of rednecks...and family is pretty important to most of them. Apparently not for you, huh?

Actually, family is very important to me. I’ve paid for their divorces, their surgeries, their funerals, their new vehicles and once even their bail – and I did so willingly and without asking for any repayment.

If anyone had bothered to read what I said, instead of just calling me vile names, you would have noticed that I don’t begrudge them their $40 for a new refrigerator. I’m all for lending a hand in hard times. But that’s not the same thing as planning on your children to permanently support you in your retirement years – intentionally becoming a burden on your children by not planning for the future. That’s worse than just relying on welfare rather than even trying to find a job.

These parents are obviously not sick or elderly, as they still run their own business. So don’t you think it would be more useful to help them plan for the future, rather than just keep giving them handouts for the rest of their lives? Who wants to be a burden on their children because they just didn’t think ahead, and it was easier to just enjoy their money now.

Unless these parents were born 100 years ago on the prairie, children are not a means to a retirement, and banks, savings, accounts, retirements, investments and even holey mattresses were available for financial planning.

But maybe we rednecks just continue to feel a silly duty to our children and their families even after they’re grown. I guess we should throw that notion away in favor of caring only for ourselves, right along with the manners mama taught us about not cursing at strangers simply because they have different views.