I call upon all to HEAKEN AND PAY STRICT ATTENTION to a matter of VITAL NATIONAL IMPORTANCE. On November 4 2008, a general election was held in which one BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA (a.k.a. BARRY SOETORO) received the majority of the popular vote. On December 15 2008, electors chosen in each of the fifty states by the general election met in their respective capitals and cast votes that resulted in an Electoral College victory for OBAMA. Yesterday, on January 8 2009, the newly elected Congress convened in session and formally certified the Electoral College’s results, thereby formally designating BARACK OBAMA as the PRESIDENT-ELECT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
Throughout this process, LAWSUITS have been brought by CONCERNED INDIVIDUALS – CORT WROTNOWSKI, LEO DONOFRIO, PHILIP BERG, & GAIL LIGHTFOOT – arguing that OBAMA IS NOT A NATURAL-BORN CITIZEN of the United States as REQUIRED BY THE U.S. CONSTITUTION to serve in the office of President. The U.S. SUPREME COURT has DECLINED TO HEAR the suits by WROTNOWSKI and DONOFRIO. Multiple FEDERAL DISTRICT AND APPEALS COURTS have RULED AGAINST BERG. Now, CHIEF JUSTICE JOHN ROBERTS has agreed to present the LIGHTFOOT suit before the Supreme Court in conference.
It is becoming crystal clear that a TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE is taking place in this country, involving a CONSPIRACY to SUBVERT DUE PROCESS as well as the REASONABLE RULE OF LAW. To wit – WHY ON EARTH does the U.S. Judicial System continue to pay heed to the INSANE RAMBLINGS of a bunch of FANATICAL LUNATIC ASSHOLES?
The reasons stated by all of the litigants in this matter for suing is to PROTECT THE AMERICAN PUBLIC from allowing a FOREIGN PRETENDER to assume the Presidency. However, such a motivation makes sense ONLY IF the PLAINTIFFS ARE THEMSELVES U.S. CITIZENS, preferably NATURAL-BORN ones, with a negative stake under the consequences in the HIGHLY UNLIKELY EVENT that any of their MANUFACTURED CLAIMS AND ACCUSATIONS should prove to be even slightly true.
IN SPITE OF THIS, neither WROTNOWSKI, DONOFRIO, BERG, nor LIGHTFOOT have produced a SINGLE SHRED OF EVIDENCE to prove themselves as AUTHENTIC AND LEGITIMATE U.S. CITIZENS. They have filed no WRITTEN DOCUMENTATION. They have produced no AFFIDAVIDTS from ANY FEDERAL OR STATE AGENCIES as to their countries of origin.
This constitutes OVERWHELMING PROOF, using the very STANDARDS ESTABLISHED BY THEMSELVES, that these PATHETIC DIMWITS are actually FOREIGN PROVOCATEURS who seek to undermine the INTEGRITY OF THE UNITED STATES and throw the operation of our government HIGGLEDY-PIGGLEDY (i.e. “higgledy-piggledy” means “a real mess”).
We find further evidence of this in the OBVIOUSLY FALSE and SCRETLY THREATENING names they have adopted. Consider:
“Cort Wrotnowski” is an anagram of “W TOWN COORT RISK.”
“Leo Donofrio” is an anagram of “E FOOL IN DOOR.”
“Philip Berg” is an anagram of “P HIP GERBIL.”
Gail Lightfoot is an anagram of “I LOOT FIGHT GAL”
Granted, most of these phrases are NOT EXACT and none of them FULLY MAKES SENSE. However, they comprise a VAGUELY FRIGHTENING-SOUNDING QUATRAIN when put together and they are CLOSE ENOUGH for, say NOSTRADAMUS, so that PRETTY MUCH SETTLES THE MATTER . . . pretty much.
If they are not foreign agents, the litigants must surely be PARTISAN NINCOMPOOPS because if protecting the American public is their goal, then ANY MAMMAL WITH GREATER NEURAL ACTIVITY THAN A THREE-TOED SLOTH would realize more harm would be done to U.S. integrity and the day-to-day operation of government by LEGALLY ASAILING AND FORCIBLY REMOVING the RIGHTFUL PRESIENT-ELECT than would be by leaving even a known foreign national in the Presidency.
The MAIN BENEFICIARIES of successful outcomes by the litigants’ actions WOULD NOT BE the American Public but rather FOREIGN GOVERNMENTS, particularly those HOSTILE TO the existence and aims of the United States. Article 3, Section 3 of the U.S. CONSTITUTION defines TREASON as including “. . . ADHERING TO [U.S.] ENEMIES, GIVING THEM AID AND COMFORT.” The Constitution goes on to state, “CONGERSS SHALL HAVE POWER TO DECLARE THE PUNISHMENT OF TREASON,” up to and including DEATH.
With this in mind and DESPITE THE FACT that I am usually a patient man, I find myself forced to call upon my IMPLIED POWERS as a FRAY POSTER – granted to me by the FRAY EDITOR under the RULES OF THE ROAD – and ISSUE THE FOLLOWING DECREE:
WHEREAS, I am SICK AND TIRED of every PARTISAN NUTJOB who is pissed off about the way the election turned out ATTEMPTING TO HURT THIS COUNTRY by advancing PETTY ALLEGATIONS that are as POISONOUS as they are FRIVOLOUS.
AND WHEREAS, I am HEARTILY SICK of the courts continuing to treat this CLAPTRAP like it might even be worthy of consideration in some MISPLACED PAEAN on their parts to democracy and justice even for the CRIMINALLY INSANE.
AND WHEREAS, I am EXCEPTIONALLY SICK of ENDLESS TOP-POSTING SPAM IN THE FRAY about this subject, particularly those CONTAINING LINKS to websites, articles, or other posts that SAY EXACTLY THE SAME THING as the referring post.
NOW THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED THAT,
1. The litigants and DROOLING IMBECILES known as WROTNOWSKI, DONOFRIO, BERG, & LIGHTFOOT must PROVE THEIR CITIZENSHIP by submitting official copies of their birth certificates TO ME. Digital images of said document posted on the Internet are insufficient – only PAPER ORIGINALS are acceptable, as I will want QUESTIONABLE EXPERTS WITH AXES TO GRIND to inspect them for the proper AUTHORIZING SIGNATURES and OFFICIAL SEALS. These must be submitted to me via U.S. mail. I cannot give my address or even my real name for that matter out of reasons of privacy. However, this does not change the fact that the ONUS IS ENTIRELY ON THEM to find me and FACTUALLY DISPROVE any RANDOM ALLEGATIONS I choose to make against them.
2. Failing to comply with Item 1 above, the litigants and SYPHILITIC BIRTH DEFECTS know as WROTNOWSKI, DONOFRIO, BERG, & LIGHTFOOT are ordered to be taken to the NEAREST TALL BUILDING of NO LESS THAN TEN STORIES IN HEIGHT and thrown off the top of it. Once this has been accomplished, the litigants are furthered ordered to then FALL TO THEIR DEATHS, bounce twice, roll over, and ultimately DIE. Failure to comply with this last point could result in further lawsuits against the litigants. It should be NO PROBLEM, since the litigants obviously HAVE NO LIVES OF THEIR OWN or they would not have the time and energy to devote to such INANE DRIVEL.
3. Any Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court, including its Chief Justice, as well as any federal District or Appellate Judge, who dignifies another PIECE OF SHIT LAWSUIT ALONG THESE LINES by agreeing to read a petition, let alone give it a hearing, shall be IMMEDIATELY IMPEACHED, PERMANENTLY DISBARRED from the further practice of law, and, ideally, SLAPPED SILLY ABOUT THE HEAD AND SHOULDERS until they come to their senses.
4. Any Fray poster composing another post on this subject should, rather than submitting it, go back to other USELESS BUT TIME-CONSUMING INTERNET PURSUITS, such as proving the FBI WAS BEHIND THE KENNEDY ASSASSINATION or the JEWS WERE RESPONSBILE FOR SEPTEMBER 11.
To those who say, “THIS IS NOT OVER,” I say in reply, “GET OVER IT!”
