There's something about weddings that makes me want to go smashy smash smash all over the place. What is wrong with people? I know, they're arrogant and self-entitled, they've been sold a bill of goods by wedding magazines and planners, I know all that. I'm just here to set the record straight: you decide how many people you want to invite, then you decide what entertainment you can afford for all those people. If what you can afford is cake and champagne before noon or a barbecue in the park, then that's what you offer. If you can't afford surf and turf for 300, don't do it expecting that your guests will pay their way either with the value of their wedding gifts or with in-kind contributions like working for free. You do not throw a zillion parties where people are required to bring you gifts or cash. You are allowed one shower, tops, which may not be thrown by your relatives, and only if you actually need the household items. A wedding is a party you offer your friends and family as an incentive for them to share your joy by attending an event that is focused on you. It is not an opportunity for you to mug them.

Amen and amen.

I had a $1500 budget so I threw a $1500 party. That's how it works. We can't all be the children of millionaires so we can't all act like the children of millionaires.

Our budget was $1000, including wedding rings, my mom & mil made the decorations, & sewed my wedding dress & the bride maids dresses. We had a potluck & a BYOB. Never would trade that wedding for anything.

Our budget was $200, plus another $100 for his suit and my dress. My mil offered to buy a cake, and my mother hosted a reception with the cake, punch, and pillow mints. It was a nice, family event.

Agree 100%, sugar_k!

Agree with all of you too! Had my third (and last) wedding in Vegas for under $400 including Elvis! Best wedding I ever had.

Happy 2009!

My hubby and I got married in 1983.We got married in my parents house,in front of the fireplace.I wore my Mom's wedding dress and my hubby wore the only suit he had.My parents bought our wedding rings for us.My parents gave us $50 to take our matron of honor,her husband at the time,and best man out to dinner.That was our reception.We now own the house after my Mom passed away two years ago.Twenty five years and two kids later, we are just as happy.

I must also include that my hubby was the first and only man I ever dated,and haven't regretted it one bit.

Having a big wedding doesn't mean a thing to me.I loved every minute of how we did it.Keep it simple!!

To the LW,charge what you always charge,no matter who it is.If they really want you to perform, they will pay your fees.

Weddings have gone from "come celebrate with us" to "come celebrate us." It's a shame.

The average cost of an American wedding is $24k. Yowsa!

It is unfortunate that people seem to forget the whole purpose of the wedding is to get the actual marriage up and running. The wedding is a one day party; the marriage is for life, or at least it's supposed to be. My brother and his wife had a pretty big wedding reception, but they paid for it themselves. It took a while to pay off all the bills, but they pulled it off without expecting anyone else to share the cost. I realize everyone wants to feel like a star for a day, but it amazes me when people who don't actually come from money suddenly act as if they were born into it come wedding time.

I think in MOST cases, the wedding plans are controlled by insecure women to whom the wedding is FAR more imporant than the marriage ..... unfortunately.

My husband and I got married on a sunny October afternoon under a brilliantly yellow maple tree with only his daughter and my son as attendents. We stopped at McD's for burgers on the way home, and shared some champagne with our parents that evening. Perfect!!

Mareellen:

I must also include that my hubby was the first and only man I ever dated,and haven't regretted it one bit.

Oh you broke a cardinal rule of this board! The rule is a woman owes it to herself to sleep with as many people as possible before picking a long term mate so you will have enough experience to judge whether or not your future hubby has what it takes to satisfy you sexually throughout your marraige. He has to measure up as compared to all the other men out there in order to be marraige worthy. How do you know if your husband is good in bed if you don't have many points of reference to compare him to? Your marraige is based on a lie of omission.

Pogue,

I hope your sarcasm is not lost on mareellen. Sadly, what you post is truly what many believe. However, in doing so, these people will never be able to find someone "perfect" as you have to fall in love with the imperfections just as much as the perfections in your spouse. I remember the father of a friend of mine who was exceedingly beautiful but had one tiny, flaw. He said it was that flaw that made her truly beautiful, and he was right.

Suga: The last line of your post is priceless! Thank you for putting it so eloquently.

lottapaws:

Pogue,

I hope your sarcasm is not lost on mareellen.

Whoa. What century are you two from?

Um, I grew up in the swinging 60's and 70's. Hellooooooo! I also married the first guy I ever dated. The marriage has lasted 36 years and still counting....yep, I didn't sleep around like most of my classmates. Most of them are on marriage number 3 or 4. So, who made the right decision, hmmm? And our sex life is smokin', thank you very much!

You just keep telling yourself that crock about 'trying them on for size'. Yeah, that's the right approach...NOT!