While I agree that there are some parents who push their children too much for their age in sports, school and overall behavior, these parents are definitely the minority.

Being a teacher for 20 years, the opposite problem seems to hold true. Parents' expectations of their children's behavior is too low. We have children misbehaving at school (speaking rudely to adults, arguing with adults, responding to all situations with others defensively, visiting with peers during instruction--I'm not talking about when they are independently working, but when the teacher is instructing!) When we visit with parents about these disrespectful behaviors, generally parents shrug, "Yeah, they do that at home, too. They're kids, what we can do?" WHAT?? BE A PARENT.

My husband and I are both teachers. He has taught in a lower-middle class middle school for over 20 years. I have taught in several elementary schools of all demographic levels, mostly at the intermediate level. And we both see the same kinds of behaviors and they are getting worse year after year.

Additionally, we have 3 children, 13, 10 & 8. They are well-behaved and respectful, something noted by teachers and other adults. They are happy, involved in a FEW activities, get good grades, and plenty of friends. They are NOT perfect. BUT we set reasonable expectations. And if they don't like our decisions, and pitch a fit, TOUGH LUCK. Gee, bedtime is set so you get 10 hours of sleep a night. YEP. We like who you are better with a good night's sleep. No caffeinated pop? YEP. No video games or TV Mon-Thurs nights?? YEP. You have homework, activities and friends to play with. None of this is developmentally inappropriate, just being parents.

(PS nearly all children can be potty trained by 4, and most 10 year olds can do an hour of homework a night--IF THEY WANT TO!)

I think that you are probably right on with what you are saying. But, I think there is a difference between parental involvement and overbearing parental involvement.

The kids of whom you speak seem to have no guidance at all. Here, the author isn't talking directly about the amount of guidance or attention, but the quality of it.

As a teacher too I also feel the same way about modern parents. Journalists can write millions of stories about overachieving helicopter yuppie parents that push their kids to the limit, but I see very little of those actual types of parents in the modern school system. I would LOVE it if my parents would actually sit down with their kids and make them do some homework. Unfortunately when I question kids about their homework most of them say they were too busy watching TV with their parents to bother to do homework. And mommy and daddy wanted to see their favorite shows and didn't feel like helping them. Then you have the parent-teacher conferences where only 3 parents out of 25 kids bother to show up, and then it's only the parents that don't really need to show up and have perfectly behaved children with perfect grades. If you do manage to get into contact with a parent of a child that is struggling in school then nine times out of ten parents whine about how they don't have the time or energy to deal with school, and that their kid's education isn't their responsibility anyway but soley the responsibility of the schools. And like the OP said, parents have absolutely zero expectations when it comes to the behavior of their children and seem to believe that kids should have a free pass to act however they please in the classroom. And the school I teach at isn't a low-income school either, so you can't use that as an excuse for the miserable and apathetic parenting I come into contact with on a daily basis. So yeah, I think I'd actually love to see some helicopter parents with high expectations for their kids. It would make a nice change.

Thank you for your insights! I am a teacher also, in middle school, and have raised four kids. I was thinking the same thing as I read the article! Parents don't expect their kids to keep track of their own homework, much less do it. Nor do they seem to expect their kids to be respectful to adults. People often commented on how polite my kids were when they were growing up as well. How come they appreciate it so much in other people's children but don't expect it from their own?