that the writer praises Eleanor Roosevelt at the expense of Emily Post, when in fact Mrs. Roosevelt lived exactly the type of life that Post advocated. Married to a man with whom there was little sexual relationship, she tolerated a lifetime of adulterous affairs by her husband in the name of preserving the family, his future, and her position in society.

As you noted, Emily Post and Eleanor Roosevelt shared many of the same values re social etiquette. They were after all bounded by the same era and social class. But they differed in what values they saw as essential for the betterment of society.

ER had a passion for promoting Human Rights and actively promoted the founding of the United Nations and later served as our delegate where she chaired the committee that drafted and approved the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. She was a late-comer to the suffragist movement, and never supported the Equal Rights Amendment for women, but outside of that she was a tireless promoter of women's rights to participate fully in both politics and business.

EP was concerned was also concerned with societal civility, but focused her considerable talents on maintaining the status quo. I think we could use a bit more etiquette these days - but what if all of EP's legacy had lived on? Women would still be second-class citizens and our society would be less meritocratic than it currently is. I can't help but conjecture that in order for EP to accomplish much of what she did, she must have experienced a certain sense of cognitive dissonance.

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water, but don't idealize her either.