Here, here! I completely agree. I've been subject to these shananigans since college. And this business is at its worst when it's a girl's birthday; the chances are higher that it will be a trendy joint with plenty of style and tiny portions. On these occasions I have to figure in the burger I inevitably get on the way home into the cost of the night.

But there is a better option than the Jefferson-Davis tab. I would call this one the Puerto Rico option: show up late, having already eaten, and just order a beer. No one will think you obligated to pitch in for the meal. This may be slightly tacky, but a far better option than your friend south of the Mason-Dixon line. It, too, shows that you're happy to celebrate your friend's birthday, but are more interested in the boozing and socializing aspect.

I like your idea. I don't think the post-meal appearance is that tacky, plus it sends a subtle message to the birthday guy/girl that perhaps he is asking a bit much of his friends in the first place.

Yeah, drinking (alcohol or not) is a better way to celebrate anyway. People can't chew and talk at the same time.

I love the Puerto Rican option. I always do that -- I hate these birthday dinners. I have to buy you a present and now dinner, and then sit with a bunch of your coworkers who are just going on and on about work things and exclude me from the conversation? That is just no fun for me.