Prudie's advice is crap because if the guy goes to the game on the anniversary day, the LW will still be pissed off.

This is just yet another one of those situations where a guy unwittingly pisses off his wife. His only crime here is that his co-worker gave him a ticket, and he didn't realize it was on the day of his anniversary.

The wife calls him on it, and he offers to sell the ticket to make her happy, but that's not good enough because she perceives that it will make her the "bad guy." What a load of bullshit, lady. You want him to sell the ticket, he offered to sell the ticket, so LET HIM SELL THE TICKET and go on your little weekend. "Bad guys" don't have to enter into it.

Unfortunately, that would be too easy. He's already waded waist-deep in shite and there is no turning back.

From what I remember, the LW didn't actually say that the anniversary day fell on that weekend. If their life is anything like mine, anniversary celebrations and holidays are celebrated when possible, not on the actual day.

And I'm calling BS on her for calling the weekend getaway their 2nd honeymoon to make it seem extra important even though they haven't made any plans yet. I wonder if they had even discussed where they would go yet? Had they even really decided they were going that weekend, or had they just asked the mother-in-law if she would watch the kids so they could have an anniversary weekend getaway, but never specified which weekend.

You're partly right. The husband is screwed and the wife gets to feel like a martyr however this works out. She's unhappy with that but she chose it; it's her comfort zone. He's unhappy and feeling guilty, and likely clueless about how he got in that spot.

You must remember one thing: when a woman starts talking about a problem, she isn't necessarily looking for a reasonable solution. She is looking for empathy. She just wants to talk about the problem. Head nodding and the occasional "that's right" are the appropriate responses.

I think the husband can easily be unscrewed if he gets rid of the ticket, tells her he had a brain cramp and is looking forward to their anniversary weekend getaway.

I wouldn't feel like a martyr no matter how it worked out. I'd either be sad that our prior plans didn't mean much or I'd be not having a good time because I knew he'd rather be at the game than having our little vacation.

You're right on about women just wanting to be heard sometimes. We don't always want our problems solved for us:)

Nah, no BS.

You can have a wedding date set but still not have chosen the honeymoon location. Or for that matter, the wedding location:)

tonto_goldberg:

Head nodding and the occasional "that's right" are the appropriate responses.

Don't forget the occasional "what an ass!" and "you deserve so much better!"

We celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this summer. We were supposed to go to NYC and have a great long weekend. Guess what? Shit happens. We wound up going to a restaurant for a nice dinner and that was the end of it. I did not hold it against him and "make him pay" or any of these effing passive-aggressive games people play.

It wasn't football, it was golf. (They had planned their weekend on the same weekend we had plans - hubby didn't put two and two together.)

There's no rule that a honeymoon has to immediately follow a wedding and I think it's becoming more rare that it does, so having a wedding date set doesn't even suggest a honeymoon date is set.

Either way, I don't see this as relevant to a 10-yr anniversary "Second Honeymoon".

He's an ass. Yes, of course you deserve better.

I have to confess to a certain amount of cowardice regarding such conversations. If it's just me and a woman I care about, I can hang in there. If there are other people around and the second line of the conversation is "He did what?" then I'm gone. Any male in the vicinity of such a conversation is in serious peril.

I think another important thing is, how hard is it to get tickets to a game? I live in Philadelphia and getting tickets to an Eagles game is nearly impossible unless you want to pay 300 bucks per ticket. The truth is, if someone gave me tickets to a game, even against a crappy team, I'd take them no matter what my plans were that weekend cause you can always make plans the next weekend, the odds of getting free football tickets may only come along once in a blue moon.

What I was getting at is that you can have a date set for something and still not have made reservations anywhere.

There are lots of people who would consider a 10 yr anniversary second honeymoon material. I'm not really one of them....I'm not a huge romantic.

noyzboyz:

I think the husband can easily be unscrewed if he gets rid of the ticket, tells her he had a brain cramp and is looking forward to their anniversary weekend getaway.

I wouldn't feel like a martyr no matter how it worked out. I'd either be sad that our prior plans didn't mean much or I'd be not having a good time because I knew he'd rather be at the game than having our little vacation.

You're right on about women just wanting to be heard sometimes. We don't always want our problems solved for us:)

Your first 2 paragraphs seem to be in conflict. I don't see the husband as being unscrewed (1st P) when you say in the 2nd P that if it were you, you would still be upset if he got rid of the ticket and might not even have a good time on the trip even if you went.

I agree a 10 yr anniversay is 2nd honeymoon material, but I feel most of the time those couples have an idea where they are going and not just an unplanned weekend. I've been married less than a year, and my wife and I have already talked about where we want to go on our 1st, 2nd, and 3rd anniversaries. The dates would be what we could fit into our schedule when the time gets closer. Obviously everyone plans trips differently, but I just thought it sounded fishy to build up the weekend that much without any plans.

If he is a Packers' fan from what I've heard, it could be the only chance of his life for any cost.