You don't have a partner, you have a subordinate. Let me guess, the option of duscussion never even entered your mind? You just chew him out for his foolish ideas because they aren't what you want?

I hope he figures out he's better off without you soon.

I think you have it all wrong. He knows she isn't going to go all bossy on him and tell him to get rid of the ticket. He can pretend he believes since she doesn't directly ask him to get rid of the ticket and stick to the original plan she doesn't mind that much. Because if she cared, she'd tell him what to do. He's being passive aggressive which makes her subordinate.

However, if you don't go for the whole subordinate/passive aggressive thing.....he's just clueless. And kinda rude.

She's the one who's going "rip him a new one" and that's passive?

Drop her for a newer model.

This is what I'm picking up from LW #1. She's been feeling neglected by her husband lately and was hoping that he'd make up for it by making a big deal out of their 10th anniversary. Well, he "fumbled the ball". Now she sees this as his way of avoiding intimacy with her and she's highly upset about it.

As for the husband, I can't tell if he's passive-agressive, clueless or just finds football more interesting than his wife. But whatever's happening in this marriage, these two are not on the same page. If they can't talk to each other about this relatively simple issue, there may not be an 11th anniversary.

Oh, you can't take that kind of phrase seriously when written to an advice columnist. She's letting out her actual anger that she probably keeps in check to his face. The fact that she didn't automatically flip out means she's probably one of the good ones.

catseye:

As for the husband, I can't tell if he's passive-agressive, clueless or just finds football more interesting than his wife.

It's not a question of finding football "more interesting" than your spouse. Professional football tickets, especially if you're not particularly wealthy and/or don't leave near a big city, don't exactly grow on trees. It would be one thing if he had season tickets and refused to skip a weekend for their anniversary- but if this is his only chance to go all season, I think she's being unreasonable. I'm a huge football fan, but I've been to a grand total of 1 game in my life, so someone offering me a ticket would be a pretty big deal.

catseye:

She's been feeling neglected by her husband lately and was hoping that he'd make up for it by making a big deal out of their 10th anniversary.

Obviously, they aren't communicating well. He doesn't understand her priorities, and she doesn't seem to care about his. They need to learn to talk to each other about how they feel. Not dictate orders about who can or cannot do what on a given weekend, but discuss how they each personally feel about the other person's choices.

glutton79:

catseye:

As for the husband, I can't tell if he's passive-agressive, clueless or just finds football more interesting than his wife.

It's not a question of finding football "more interesting" than your spouse. Professional football tickets, especially if you're not particularly wealthy and/or don't leave near a big city, don't exactly grow on trees.

Where did it say this was to a pro game?

Terrils:

Where did it say this was to a pro game?

It didn't. But given that he said he could still go for an overnight, it seems unlikely that the game would be on Saturday.

I have to wonder....

Does anyone who asks whether or not they should rip someone a new one every actually rip anyone a new one? Hmmm.

glutton79:

Terrils:

Where did it say this was to a pro game?

It didn't. But given that he said he could still go for an overnight, it seems unlikely that the game would be on Saturday.

If they live in the city where it's being played, he could. Either before or after the game, depending on when kickoff was.

IncogNeato:

glutton79:

Terrils:

Where did it say this was to a pro game?

It didn't. But given that he said he could still go for an overnight, it seems unlikely that the game would be on Saturday.

If they live in the city where it's being played, he could. Either before or after the game, depending on when kickoff was.

I guess that also depends on how much of a "getaway" thiis was supposed to be. I kind of assumed it was more than a few hours away, with all the "second honeymoon" talk.

glutton79:

I guess that also depends on how much of a "getaway" thiis was supposed to be. I kind of assumed it was more than a few hours away, with all the "second honeymoon" talk.

Well since she hadn't actually made any reservations, we don't know..... I know that if I were eagerly anticipating an event, I would make sure that tickets and reservations were lined up so that it would happen.

I think I'm clearly biased because I'm a football fan, so this exact situation wouldn't be a problem. Except, of course, that he would get to go to the game and I wouldn't.... especially if it were my team and not his...

But anyway, I'll try to imagine this scenario with something I think is totally stupid.... like, uh... a car convention? Is that a real thing? Anyway, if I'd made any reservations for that weekend, it'd be totally unacceptable... if I hadn't, I think I'd be pretty willing to reschedule. But I'd still make fun of him for spending his days off sitting in the driveway rubbing his car with a diaper.

Decent partners don't make plans for an aniversary weekend without consulting the wife/husband. Especially when the two of them have already agreed to go someplace. This couple HAD discussed it, and come to an agreement to go away, even though they hadn't decided a place yet. He's the one who broke their agreement and made contrary plans, without discussing it. If you take anyone to task for not doing so, why are you blaming her? He's the one to blame. And you're not only defending him but making all sorts of assumptions about her personality. Very interesting.