Somewhere in Waziristan....Al-Qaida Assemble in their mountain-cave boardroom. Osama Bin Laden sits at the head of the table, and adresses the group.
Osama: Brothers, friends. We have just learned that the insolent americans have adopted a new strategy in our ongoing war...they have threatened to bomb the holy city of Mecca, should we conduct any further operations on their soil!
Gasps echo throughout the cave's darkened corridors.
Al Zawahiri: Impossible! How could such a paper tiger make such a bold, tough threat? Such resolve! What has happened to our inroads with the liberals?
Osama: Alas, our liberal allies have been crushed by an upsurge of patriotism!
Zawahiri: I thought their version of patriotism meant embracing their strange values of universal human rights, and equality and...
Osama: So little you know about America! So little we all knew! Who would have thought they could strike such fear in us! After all, we care more for the true traditions of our religion than our own radical schemes, so we must not let mecca be attacked!
Zawahiri: Remember when the shrine in Samara was destroyed?
Osama: What an american victory that was! Oy! No... we must recall our sleeper cells before they are detected by the congress' latest endorsement of the NSA warrantless wiretapping program!
AQ footsoldier: But sir... perhaps we should use such threats as proof of the enemy's true evil? Perhaps many loyal muslims who would otherwise sympathise with the americans could be turned to our cause if we...
Osama: Fool! Muslims worldwide will positively respect the US for their bold assertiveness! Don't you see that we cannot take such a risk? We must respond logically! Alas, I fear we may never undertake another bombing. How could I, of all people, dare to put innocent muslims at risk for my own personal gain? So what if the US bombed innocent civilians in my home country? We have been deterred! So what if that country, Saudi Arabia, is in fact an ally of the US in their crusade? We have been deterred! So what if a greater clash between our religions and cultures is what Al-Qaida was created to foment?! We, my dear brothers, I regret to inform you, have been ultimately deterred. We must now bear the brutal cacophany as freedom rings throughout the islamic world, for the US, in its terrible wisdom, has threatened to destroy all we hold dear. Why would we not be defeated already?