Like the LW I am perhaps antiquated-ly shocked at how much "the kids" are doing the more difficult social communication through texting instead of face to face. Texting gives them the cover to be much bolder than they really are.

Is this good, bad, what? I know I probably would've taken advantage of it, too. Is having the courage to ask someone out in person, or experiencing face-to-face rejection necessarily some character-building rite of passage? Or is it better to be able to save face and keep it light, especially at a young age?

How is texting different from the telegraph?

mystical limpet:

How is texting different from the telegraph?

WTF???

For once, someone dumber then me.

Ummmm, the telegraph was invented way before the telephone. The telegraph was the only one of two ways to communicate long distance. Telegraph & mail.

I don't think it hurts to let the save face for a while. After all, they are going to have to get together for sex at least so we can guarantee face to face (or other body part) contact will never be completely lost!

If the mother wants her kids to improve their ability to communicate face to face, she should insist that they take speech class, or have them attend ToastMasters. Being able to address a room full of people, and be coherent, is an important skill in the adult world. You never know when you might be selected as a Vice Presidential Candidate!

This is really much ado about nothing. Now kids can accomplish with texting what they used to do through having an intermediary slip a note to someone else. Remember, the "Do you like me?" notes, etc.

My first thought with texting is "oh, dear". But then I think about a friend I grew up with. Her MO for anything that made her feel uncomfortable was avoidance. She would do her best to get the message across without having to be there to deal with the reactions and what not. And this was before texting. As such my conclusion is that there will of course be people who might over use texting. They will use it to avoid anything uncomfortable, and the tactic may or may not work. But I think a majority of people and teens will use texting the same way they used the phone and notes before texting became available. I do think that similar if not same manners should be applyed. If you would call and talk to a friend while in a meeting at work then you shouldn't be texting either. Stuff like that.

I do think the LW was micromanaging her childrens behaviors a bit. I think these things will balance themselves out.

It's would not. If you would not call and talk to a friend while in a meeting at work then you shouldn't be texting either.

ASoIaF:

This is really much ado about nothing. Now kids can accomplish with texting what they used to do through having an intermediary slip a note to someone else. Remember, the "Do you like me?" notes, etc.

haha! I am glad you brought this up!!! Whenever people complain about how much kids text, in class or otherwise, I have to think of note writing. We used to spend hours writing notes, and they used an abbreviated language, just like texting. The way I see it, there's absolutely nothing different about it.

Yep, exactly!

Also, there was another way that kids used to talk/ask others out etc. without face to face interaction. Remember asking one of your friends to go talk to the guy or girl that you liked to see if they liked you back?

Anyway, I text a lot these days too. I prefer it over talking on the phone. I can get a text from someone when they have time and I can respond back when I have time. Its a lot faster than either playing phone tag or talking on the phone. Short and sweet.

ChanChan:

Yep, exactly!

Also, there was another way that kids used to talk/ask others out etc. without face to face interaction. Remember asking one of your friends to go talk to the guy or girl that you liked to see if they liked you back?

Haha yep. And even if you wrote a note to someone you liked, you usually had your friend hand it to him anyway!

I was in about sixth grade when the internet hit big, so I didn't have texting as an adolescent, but my god did we IM. And I must have dated about half the people I did in junior high/high school/even early college because of it. When you look at it that way, I ended up with MORE human interaction because the conversations started on the internet, where it was easier to make connections and start to feel comfortable with people.

Either way, now I'm 24, in a healthy relationship, and no longer use IM (although I do text, but not to make friends). It's ok. The kids of today will be fine. It's just times changing and this ends up to really be no big deal.

Just a sidenote -- this wasn't mentioned in this thread, but in others -- I think it's a much better idea to just get a texting package for kids, instead of banning them. It's how they communicate; to be left out of that loop sucks. Some people who didn't have that medium in school don't get it, but it really is important. To not text is to be left out of an entire cultural phenomenon at an age when being "in" is of the utmost importance.