Humans originally existed as members of small bands of
nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the
invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals, and
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was
the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor the aluminum can had been invented yet, so while our early ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's
how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to
B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is now known as the Conservative movement. Other men who were weaker and less
skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women.
The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and
beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the
largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but
most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their
women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most social workers, personal injury lawyers, journalists,
dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Coors. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire
other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the
producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of
trying to get something for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:



It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge
to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the
absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.
And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self.

Heard dogs being grilled by lady of rothschild near a litest neighbor while Nero looks for horse who stole fiddle. When banks decide then the perfume stagnates until it vaporizes into the ether whereby mankind then descends into Dante's kitchen to find work as a flamethrower of last resort. The real culprits died in the olden days because they stopped living due to high interest rates on regenerative cells which they could no longer afford to keep up via injections of easy fixings. Thats when the children came home to take care of the discarded ones laden with more hot dogs filled with brats from the feartland.

This charmer used to render the entire texts of his posts, often quite lengthy, in capital letters. I don't know what led the former SpiderMBA to sojourn on BOTF today, but he's mellowed in other ways than all-caps. He used to believe in a literal Adam and Eve in a literal Garden, with Lilith put out to a literal Pasture. Now we have apparent acknowledgement of evil-ution, and no detailed analysis whatsoever of the awesomely terrible acts committed in Sodom, Gomorrah, San Francisco, and Elko, Nevada.

CaD is nothing more then a desperate attention whore.

We are whoresons.

I stand corrected.

CaD is nothing more then a desperate attention son of a whore.

Of course, there are some counter-stereotypes we could play with--conservatives would never have found the clitoris or discovered the female orgasm; conservatives would have no music to listen to during, or theatre or cinema to watch after, these BBQs were there no liberals to make it; conservatives may have killed the beast, but they needed liberals to make the sauce. Oh, and, who do you think planted that grain?

That would be petty, of course. Not as petty as your top post, maybe, but you know what they say about wrestling with a pig. Or putting lipstick on a wrestler. Or playing hockey with a pit bull. I'm a little lost, to be honest, on the whole thing; I blame the pot.

I like red meat a lot. True, my favorite way to eat it is shaven over rice noodles and broth in a bowl of pho, but I appreciate a good steak. I guess Guinness is imported, but my people--the Irish--are surely as tough as anyone else on the world scene. Of course, I've drunk my share of Pabst Blue Ribbon in my day; it goes well with being broke (and never, in that condition, accepting unemployment or welfare of any kind).

Oh, and I'm a dog person (one might have surmised as much by the name).

There's not a lot else I could say that I haven't already said here. It's not exactly the same topic, but I think it speaks to a lot of the same concerns.

dumb_blonde:

CaD is nothing more then (SIC) a desperate attention whore.

Please, ignore me. You and your leftist pals have pledged to each other for years to do just that, and yet you are mesmerized by my messages. You make pathetic, ignorant attempts to discredit me through one-line zingers like that above, and in so doing, demonstrate again and again how incompetent you truly are. Nor have I ever stooped to calling YOU a "whore" notwithstanding... never mind.....

I am surely a whore. And I rock a garter belt.

<link>

It is essentially important for human beings to follow laws and orders without which a man can be brutal enough harm others. It can be easily mentioned that law plays a vital role in arranging the mob in a systematic manner. So, one should never fail to follow laws of any kind, concerning anything.

Barbara

Personal Injury Lawyer

CONSERVATIVES WANT TO EAT FRENCH FOOD BUT THEY CAN'T AFFORd IT BECAUSE THEY DON'T EVEN BELEIVE IN EVoLUTION ITS CALLED SCIENCE, FOLKS!!!!!!!

ITS SO SAD THAT YOUR LETTING YOU'R JEALOUSY STOP YOUR BRAIN FROM WORKING BECAUSE YOUR A STUPID CONSeRVATIVE! MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO CNSERVATIVE SCHOOL BECAUSE YOUR NOT VERRY SMART???

I EARN $280,000+ PER YEAR BECAUSE IM SMART AND WORK HARD BECAUSE IM A LIBERAL AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO TIE YOUr OWN SHOES WITHOUT SARAH PALIN TO HELP YOU BUT SHE'S STUPID AND UGLY BUT STILL DOESNT LIKE YOU AND WONT TIE YOUR SHOES SO YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF BUT YOU CAN'T BECAUSE YOUR DUM BHOW DOES THAT FEEL???

YOUR A REATARTED CONSERVATIVE YOU REATARD!