Prudie's advice to a 20 year old living above a chain-smoking old woman with an incessant super loud tv-watching habit was way off. she basically said, "she won't change because she's old, you're young so go find another place."

reasons this is ridiculous:
1. this young woman is paying to live there, she has every right to the space and basic laws dictate that noisy neighbors are in the wrong. if the old woman was writing in about her boisterous 20 year old neighbors who played loud music all night, the answer would have been entirely different.

2. maybe prudie can afford to wave goodbye to a $1000 deposit, find a new place to live (a veritable part-time job) and move all of her possessions even though she just moved in some place, but most 20 year olds can not.

3. saying someone can not change merely because they are old ignores both the humanity and responsibilities of the elderly. my grandparents (all in the 80s) all use the internet, travel around the country and learn new things. it's harder for them to deal with change than it is for me at 25, but they're still grown adults with the capacity to make decisions and create action. they're not mentally dead and intractable.

what she SHOULD have said:

she sounds like a nice lady, someone who probably would be mortified to know she was creating a nuisance for someone. most people don't like to think of themselves as bothersome and are happy to make small changes to add to their friendships.

buy the lady a pair of headphones and a transmitter setup for her tv, say that you thought it might be handy for her since it sounds like her current setup isn't working so great for her. offer to install it and show her how to use it. say it works great for your dad or coworker who has some hearing loss.

as far as smoking- that's a whole 'nother can of beans. fill your apartment with air fresheners and that's about as much as you can do. smokers can be super defensive and find it hard to quit even if they want to.

final thought: how did prudie get her job? did she win by having her name drawn out of a hat?

But the 20 year old chose to live there, she needs to learn to be more selective.

"final thought: how did prudie get her job? did she win by having her name drawn out of a hat?"

You are exactly right about that. & foolish people seek her advice daily. She is just a journalist that writes other articles for Slate & when the old Dear Prudie left, they DID draw Emily's name out of a hat.

If someone wants good, sound professional advice, they need to write to a professional, not dear Prudie.

Very good points! In addition to air fresheners, those ionic breezes seem to work really well too. It would be a couple hundred dollars expense but even that is cheaper than moving.

Ionic Breeze and some relaxing CD's which play "white noise".

It beats living next door to an alcholic girlfriend beater. Their rows used to shake the building down. All the neighbors would call the cops on him regularly. He'd go out in cuffs. Hours later, he was back.

This brazen beater began to fight fire with fire. He pounded on the walls or complained when we'd have a party, having work done or if our TV was too loud.