Dear DPers,

Yesterday was September 11. I'll leave it at that. And move on to lighter fare, this week's Isolutions.

Dear Prudie,

Now that my husband's dead, I get a kick out of watching myself give him a blow job over and over. How can I hide this from the kids?

signed,

Merry Widow

Dear Self-Porn Star,

I'm betting they've seen the tape already. Especially if it already has the word "PRIVATE!!!" on the box in big letters. But in case they haven't, don't worry, none of them owns a VCR anymore, anyway.

Signed,

Iso got something like that myself, but we keep it in an envelope marked "recipes"

Dear Prudie,

My brother stole my girl. Ew!

signed,

And mom likes him better, too

Dear Dumped for the Baby,

There are just some folks in this world who'd rather steal apples from the backyard than have you bake them a pie. These folks are called siblings. There is not a younger brother on the planet who would not give his eye teeth to steal his big brother's best gal (and his Playstation, and his toy truck, and his mom's attention-- trust me, I've lived this through three generations and taught classes on how to ameliorate it).

You're not wrong to want them to cool it, heck, it'd be unnatural not to want that; but it's none of your business and you'd be wrong to say anything about it. And that's the last thing you should ask for anyway. Give them your blessing, and act like it's the greatest thing in the world, in fact, throw in how you can't wait for nieces and nephews -- that ought to make their fabulously dangerous and exciting super spy meets super spy star crossed love affair look like two chicken-shits pouring glitter on black cardboard. It would be really wrong to tease your brother about her bedroom habits, or in any way indicate that being away from her is the best thing that ever happened to you, how much you love being a free man, the cute girls you've been seeing, or the adorable way he's starting to act just like her.

signed,

Iso would caution against affectionately calling her your "hand-me-down" too

Dear Prudie,

I let my kid play at a racist's house, even though this racist whiner trashes my kid's other friends for being the wrong race.

signed,

I'm a fool

Dear Yes, you are,

Worse, if you're not a racist yourself, then you're guilty of child neglect. You're putting a seven year old in a confusing, and potentially extremely upsetting situation every time you send her to this woman's home. I'm not advocating you isolate the racist's child, by any means, have her to your house; just don't send your child alone to this woman.

By sending her there, you're forcing your daughter to by herself choose between defending her African friend (and indeed, her whole understanding of people), and caving in to this adult who has no sense of shame about her racism. She's seven. Grow up and be the mother. Protect her from this woman and her terrible attitude toward life and people, or risk hearing your own daughter tell you one day, why she doesn't like black people either.

signed,

Iso can't believe you thought this was even a little okay

Dear Prudie,

I dont' have any memory of my real grandmother, because I wasn't even born before she died, but I don't want to call the woman who's been a real grandmother to me all my life my grandmother because that would make me forget the memory of my real grandmother.

signed,

Confused

Dear You Confused Me Too,

What do you call your dad's mom, "Hey you?"

Your parents and uncle clearly think Hot Trophy Grandma stole Daddy, killed Mommy and has been actively plotting your gruesome collective demises since before you were conceived. Which is why you don't know she exists and that her name is Beatrice. She's your grandmother, and unless she's done something to you, she's earned the right to be called Grandma, if you can manage to stand up to the Church of Latter-Day Burners Of Foul Witches Named Beatrice.

signed,

Iso have to go with Prudie on this one

mundo!!!!

Brilliant as usual.

You've been scoring well over on the other board, IMO.

Great solutions, Iso! I so agree with you about little bratty brothers trying to steal big bro's girl. I know a brat who stole his brother from his wife. Now he's filing for divorce.

Brilliant, as always. I like the "hand-me-down" notion on that girlfriend. Hmmm. Gives me ideas. ;-)

I always enjoy your posts, humorous or serious. I like your perspective. Thanks for sharing it with us.

That's a dangerous emoticon if ever I saw one.

Glad to hear from you & nice to "meet" you!

1. Hehe, that's true. Infact if the tape was in the bed room cupboard instead of the regular cabinet for VCHs, kids will be much more inquisitive to find out what's inside. And yes VCH tapes can be converted to DVDs :D

2. Regarding racism, if someone (who was not a racist but) has become one due to exposure to bad environment, is there a way to reverse the damage? Or does he /she needs counselling?

1. true, maybe the LW should write "CSPAN November 2003" on it. That'll never get saved when she's gone. (CSPAN only shows the proceedings of the US congress and speeches by political figures).

2. If the person is willing to do the work to unravel their bad beliefs about others, they don't necessarily need a therapist. Common sense helps, though. I think most people are taught some kind of racism as children, even without realizing it. We have to challenge our beliefs about others all the time in the modern world.

Let me just add to the bonfire of Letter 3, that if YOU know this woman is a racist, I guarantee you every single one of your international house of friends knows she's a racist too, and they are wondering what the heck is up with you being friends with someone like that.

There is no such thing as a closet racist.

The CSPAN can work if the kids know that their folks have interest in politics. If country politics are not so popular in the house then that could make the kids even more curious :-)

If the children were not taught any racism at home against ANY race, is there a better chance to reverse the damage? Sometimes, I feel confident that I can conciously make an effort to reverse this damage and succeed in it too because I was not like this before or taught racism / hate in my childhood. But I havent tried it conciously though.

I think that racism 'disease' also gives birth to pessimism and distrust of other people.

Hmm.... it's a blessing to be protected against the environment outside cz majority of the places it is 'bad'.... maybe bcz there are too many indians everywhere (hehe, just joking)

Isonomist:

1. true, maybe the LW should write "CSPAN November 2003" on it. That'll never get saved when she's gone. (CSPAN only shows the proceedings of the US congress and speeches by political figures).

2. If the person is willing to do the work to unravel their bad beliefs about others, they don't necessarily need a therapist. Common sense helps, though. I think most people are taught some kind of racism as children, even without realizing it. We have to challenge our beliefs about others all the time in the modern world.

Hello Iso,

I dropped in hoping I would see you here. Hope you are doing okay.

Isonomist:

1. true, maybe the LW should write "CSPAN November 2003" on it. That'll never get saved when she's gone. (CSPAN only shows the proceedings of the US congress and speeches by political figures).

Try "CSPAN Oval Office 1996". Then if they watch it, at least it will make sense.

Thanks sweetie. I'm ok. Day by day. How's life?