My problems with parental consent
by
illumiknitti
09/08/2008, 8:38 PM #
In general, I believe in parental involvement in a child's life. My older sister had an abortion at 18; my mother and grandmother took her to the clinic themselves. It was a hard thing for them to do, but they recognized, as did my sister, that it was not a viable option for her, at that time, to be a single mother with no support.
What worries me about parental consent as a law may be what people consider the "exceptions." It is regrettable, but true, that there are young women who are abused by their parents. It is also true that there are young women carrying their father's, or their brother's, or some other male relative's baby. There are minors in homeless shelters, or in the foster care system, who have no parents who are able to consent. These girls may face further abuse in the face of their pregnancy, whether or not they wish to carry it to term. Who is going to advocate for the rights of these girls? How many of you, if you were in this position, would be willing to stand before a judge and tell him that you are unable to obtain parental consent, and tell him why? To force this upon such disadvantaged young women is to force them to carry a baby to term.
You may argue that these situations are rare, and I hope to God they are. I had more than one friend in high school who was routinely beaten. I worked at a pediatrics office that saw many girls in the foster care system or living in homeless shelters--the only care they received was from group home workers not much older than themselves. Should the workers contact their imprisoned, drug-addicted parents for consent?
I empathize with the caring, committed parents who have posted, wanting to know what their children are doing, and wanting to be able to offer support. I hope that you are willing to guide your daughters to make the right decision (whatever that decision may be), should they ever end up in this situation. I also hope that you would recognize, if not their sovereignty, then at least their personhood, and their stake in the matter. I hope that you would not declare your own feelings paramount and ignore theirs. I'm pretty sure, as good parents, that you wouldn't. Most of your children, if you have truly kept the lines of communication, will come to you for help, as my sister did with my mother. My sister was already a legal adult, in college, living halfway across the country. She didn't have to tell our family, especially since my mother and grandmother were Catholic and she may not have been sure about the reception she would receive. She came to them because my mother always told her, and all of us, that she was available if we needed help.
Don't sell your children short, I think is what I'm trying to say. Parental consent laws send a pretty clear message--"we don't trust you to come to us on your own, so we'll force you." And while you raise your children with all the care you can, try to think about other children who have not been so fortunate. Should you punish them because their parents are unavailable, or worse?