I'd like to know where I can find a guy like that widower? He describes exactly what I want -- a relationship filled with good cooking, companionship, sex, and separate residences! I don't want to get married or live with anyone, just like he describes. My problem is the opposite -- every time I get close to a man, he starts pushing for marriage or cohabitation.

The trick is to get out, stay out, and greet every unaccompanied man you see.

You sound like the kind of woman I would hang out with given the chance. To find you, however, I have to hurdle the golddiggers, the snobs, the babymammas, the biological clocks, the headcases, the harridans, and the like.

We're out there, and we'll date you if you seem not to resemble our past mistakes (see above). So distiguish yourself. Be chill, be funny, resassure. You're a rare commodity. Flaunt it!

Thanks. I am chill. And sometimes funny. And very secure. So much so that it's increasingly not mattering to me that I don't have a man in my life. I'm happy, fulfilled, have a great job that pays well, and friends. I am more and more content with my lot in life. And perhaps like you, I am picky, too -- wanting to avoid guys who resemble my past mistakes. I am an astute student of history and one who cherishes her freedom.

By the way . . . what's a "harridan"??

I fully understand EscherFan, being in the same position myself.

I, too, have a far more calm life now than during my marriage. I also do not want to repeat past mistakes. I have noticed one pitfall that I didn't expect though. 'Noticing' things (the good ones) in friends, similar to my ex, and 'expecting' the bad habits to show up as well. I mentioned this to one friend recently to which he crowed. "Hell yes.. it's a 'package deal' don't you know!!"

Thank ghods for my friends and their sarcastic sense of humor.....

Harridan, from the American Heritage Dictionary: "A woman regarded as scolding and vicious. Possibly from French haridelle, gaunt woman, old horse, nag."

Right here in NJ :)

Plus I too am a big fan of MC.

Tell me more, Pal.

50 y/o, self made, divorced (amicably), live 10 minutes from NYC & told I am good looking. You?

People meeting people. That's what we're about here on the Fray!

47, great career that pays well in a scientific field. Am a Jew by choice. Live directly across the river from Trenton, in Bucks County, PA. Two grown sons. Divorced (mine was amicable, too, in fact we did the whole thing without lawyers). Have gotten more than my fair share of positive male attention over the years and continue to do so from time to time. Petite. Busty. About 12 lbs overweight -- not enough to really worry about, but I do go to the gym regularly. Upfront, straightforward, nothing to hide, nothing fake, not a drama queen.

Who knew? I would have gotten on years ago! As a matter of record, I think this Prudie is especially wise. I like her.

I know well that "waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to­-drop" feeling. I suppose I'm guilty too of looking right away for all the red flags (and all too often finding very many!). Lately, though, I'm starting to realize that perhaps some of the flags were only pink. By the time you get in your 40s you tend to know yourself well and realizing that all relationships require compromise, you evaluate each pink or red flag and ask yourself which you can tolerate and which you can't.

You sound lovely though Bucks county is a tad GU. Who knows, see you here on Prudie...

Yep, it's a bit far. Thanks for the compliment, Pal. I'll be on Prudie from time to time. Most of the time I don't bother. It's draining for me to deal with all those who can't spell, are incapable of stringing together a lucid paragraph, or or write in all caps.