I didn't color my hair from the onset of gray (early 30s) until my late 40s when I decided to let my hair grow longer. The gray didn't match the longer style, so I colored. I am now addicted to the "youth" of dark hair but hate the maintenance factor. Not only would I never urge another to dye, I wish I hadn't done it to myself.

While I don't find dating inlaws disturbing for the same reasons as the LW, I agree it could become uncomfortable if one couple or the other breaks up. Those cozy family gatherings are now charged with angst.

It's the same reason many companies don't hire relatives. It just makes a situation more emotionally charged than necessary.

Sorry you don't like your hair dye. Why not let it grow out? I think the wife should leave her husband alone, too. Does she love him or his hair? My husband is younger than me but has more gray hair-what he has left, that is.

My ex-husband was a little vain. He was dyeing his hair for awhile and it looked terrible. It was so fake looking. I never said anything but I was glad to see him stop. We are on good terms and I didn't want to embarrass him. I couldn't think of a nice way to say it so I said nothing.

When we were married he also asked me should he get rogaine. I told him that was entirely up to him. He had the bald spot when I married him so that would be stupid of me to start nagging about it later.

His nose had also been broken when he was struck by a car when he was riding a bike. It looked all right to me. I would have never known if he hadn't told me. Some years later he was involved in another car accident. His nose was damaged again. The insurance was going to pay for a "nose job." Again, I said that was his call. They would have had to re-break his nose to make it "perfect." Sounded like a lot of trouble for no good reason. He opted not to and that was fine with me. Poor man was already banged up enough.

I guess I am just not as superficial as some people. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I also don't feel I have the right to ask another person to dye his hair, cut it, blah, etc. If he asks my advice, fine. Otherwise, I am not offering hints. Please don't ask "does my butt look big in these pants?" unless you really want to know.

As for the in-laws-hadn't thought about a break up making things uncomfortable. Well, I suppose it could, but do you put your life on hold for what might happen?