Hello,

As a Muslim woman who supports polygamy I was very surprised by the author's statement: "Azeez's blog is just one of several in which American Muslims write thoughtful, sometimes wry, but usually positive commentary about living polygamously" . This statement is unfortunately, false. The vast majority of blogs of women living in polygynous marriages, whether it's in the East of West, are largely negative. In fact, "Thoughts of a first wife" does not speak kindly at all about polygyny and the young wife has been wrestling with 5 kids with a part-time husband.

If Ms. Azeez cares about God's law, she should know that as Muslims we are bound to contracts, ie. we HAVE TO respect contracts. When we're citizens/residents of a country, we are bound by a tacit contract that implies that we will respect the laws of the country. So what Ms. Azeez is doing is not only illegal according to US law, but also according to Islamic law.

Personally, I believe that Muslims who practice polygyny (which is not encouraged in Islam), breaking the laws of the country, are an embarrassment to our community.

In addition, I find it quite problematic that Muslim men who had agreed previously not to take anymore wives, just come one day to the house and say they have taken other wives, without consulting the first wife at all. How is this being kind to your wife? I am really perplexed of our community’s double discourse, where on one hand “women are held in high esteem and very respected in Islam”, and on the other your husband can just flirt with a woman, “fall in love” with her and then just make her a “second wife”, many times without the wife’s knowledge.

I am shocked to see brothers who can barely support one family, wanting another wife. Brothers who are on debt, incurring on riba, wanting another wife. If you can't support one family, if you're on debt, if you have to borrow money, then you can't take another wife. As simple as that. If you work so many ours that you barely see your wife, and when you see her you're very tired, then you can't take another wife.

Kids need their parents. You can't go on having many kids and then take other wives... those kids will need you, they need a father figure. In addition, those kids need to go to school, to college. Do you know how much it costs to send kids to university? Your kids come before anyone, so if you can't support them and guarantee them a good education, don't take other wives.

Anyways, I could go on and on but I'll end here.

I believe polygyny should be legalized so it can be regulated, more than anything. And if people out of their free will want to take more wives (God knows there are many widows around the world who could use the company of a husband) then it's up to them.

To her credit, Andrea Useem does get the history of Mormon involvement in polygamy correct. How refreshing to hear the term "ex-Mormon polygamists!"

I also welcome the estimates of the number of Muslims that practice polygyny in the U.S.A. and hope that the MSM is paying attention.

Tracy Hall Jr
hthalljr'gmail'com

I think marriage should be removed from the faith issue and opened up to everyone and not just those who meet a limited critera based on gender or two participants and religion. After all in the USNA, laws have to meet the criteria of the Constitution.

In addition, yes, the law of a country can be changed. That's why you lobby, you vote, etc.

Someone could be willing to "break the law" to see if it goes all the way to the Supreme Court and challenge it, or things like that.

But not just break the law and live in an illegal way where the "second" wife is usually unprotected...

Finally, the reason Muslims are not fighting for it might be beacause it's not part of our present culture, nor a real need at least in the US. The Medinan society was also largely monogamist and that was considered OK.

I don't know, nor do I really care, about the fine details of Islamic law concerning multiple wives. It is against the law and those who practice it should be prosecuted. This reminds me of the Muslim taxi drivers the author mentioned. I don't know about the Islamic laws regarding alcohol and whatever they are they do not concern the actual law. Taxi drivers are required by the body that regulates and licenses them to carry passengers, even those who are carrying alcohol in their baggage. End. Of. Story.

Debating the finer points of Islamic theology may be interesting in and of itself but they do not have, not should the have, any bearing on the application of the laws of the United States. Multiple wives is an illegal practice regardless of whether it is sanctioned by some religion or not. I hope these individuals are indicted.

I agree, keep it legal, stick to having one wife and a mistress or two on the side, darn it.....that way u can get interviewed by Playboy mag too!

I agree the term "ex-Mormon polygamist" is refreshing since most people call them mormon polygamists....but niether statement is true. The founders of these polygamist groups may have at one time been Mormon, but the people who are currently envolved were NEVER Mormon. These people are second, third, fourth, fifth generation polygamists...and they could never be part of the Mormon church being raised in a polygamist community. It would be nice if people called them what they really are. Polygamists. They are in no way connected to the Mormon church and have not been for over 100 years.

It'll be interesting to see polygamy legalized because of course, it will have to be legalized across the board, i.e., women may take multiple husbands. Of course this won't happen because at the mere suggestion of this by a Muslim woman to her husband he'll beat her savagely or even kill her, as is the Muslim "custom" of dealing with disobedient women. Make no mistake, this isn't some solemn religious tenet, be it Muslim, Mormon, whatever... this is yet another example of men wanting to have their cake and eat it too, while women must be content at being just the frosting.

They are most certainly Mormon. May not be LDS -- certainly they are not currently members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but they ARE followers of the Book of Mormon and most other teaching of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young.

"Of course this won't happen because at the mere suggestion of this by a Muslim woman to her husband he'll beat her savagely or even kill her, as is the Muslim "custom" of dealing with disobedient women."

No way! There is nothing in Islam which condones the beating or killing of a woman by her husband!! As a Muslim woman, it is extremely disturbing to me to hear people think that somehow Islam condones this kind of BARBARIC behaviour toward women! Such barbarism is more due to male-dominated natures of Arab societies (by the way I am not Arab, I am Turkish, so I can see the cultural differences as well). Tribalism also has to do with such bad-behavior. So, lets call things as they are, and don't give abusive men the chance to chalk up their bad behavior to religion. It's not Islamic!

There are many Muslim females that are in polygamous marriages in which the consent of the first wife was not sought, nor her feelings considered. I am one of those females.

I am an American Muslim and have live in the USA all my life, so you could imagine the torment and struggle I experienced not growing up in a culture where polygamy is practiced, and then having polygamy thrust upon me.

We have to be careful with implementing laws restricting polygamy as we don't want to make unlawful that which Allah made lawful. Men who chose to practice polygamy are going to be accountable to Allah for why and how they practiced it.

I formed a support group www.polygamy411.com to help women living polygamy to accept what Allah has decided for them, and help them through it. I've told my story as well. Discussing polygamy, if you're already living it or contemplating living it could be very theraputic-not debating the why and why not of polygamy and the laws.

There are many Muslim females that are in polygamous marriages in which the consent of the first wife was not sought, nor her feelings considered. I am one of those females.

I am an American Muslim and have live in the USA all my life, so you could imagine the torment and struggle I experienced not growing up in a culture where polygamy is practiced, and then having polygamy thrust upon me.

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To the best of my knowledge, a Muslim man cannot take a second wife without the consent of his first wife under Islamic law. Any Muslim man doing that is disregarding 'Allah's Law' to begin with, and also the law of the land.

You should have little reason to hesitate to take him to court, unless you are fearful of becoming a divorcee.....

sevgihan:

"Of course this won't happen because at the mere suggestion of this by a Muslim woman to her husband he'll beat her savagely or even kill her, as is the Muslim "custom" of dealing with disobedient women."

No way! There is nothing in Islam which condones the beating or killing of a woman by her husband!! As a Muslim woman, it is extremely disturbing to me to hear people think that somehow Islam condones this kind of BARBARIC behaviour toward women! Such barbarism is more due to male-dominated natures of Arab societies (by the way I am not Arab, I am Turkish, so I can see the cultural differences as well). Tribalism also has to do with such bad-behavior. So, lets call things as they are, and don't give abusive men the chance to chalk up their bad behavior to religion. It's not Islamic!

You can't imagine the irony of your statement when viewed objectively by someone outside of the religion. You blame this behavior, not on the religion, but on the barbarism of the male-dominated, tribal nature of Arab societies. The religion was born of this culture. You can't really separate the two.

It is the same with the FLDS Churches. Joseph Smith created this religion, just as Muhammad created Islam. These men chose to relegate women to inferior positions. Judaism, Christianity, Islam and Mormonism all consecrate polygyny (not polygamy). All of these religions have bowed to secular law in order to remain functional within the societies in which they operate. It has never been a matter of theology, but a compromise of convenience to put aside their dogma when it threatened the power of the Church.

If it makes you happy to blame this nonsense on Yahweh, God, Allah or whatever name you choose for your own personal Deity, then go ahead and do it. It is still nonsense. You are all being played for fools.

Nightswimmer, you are talking from a perspective which itself is based IN a Judao-Christian paradigm. Rejecting Abrahamic religion is convenient when modern human society has been built on the shoulders of Abrahamic religion, concepts, ethics, morals. Essentially, rejection serves as a form of deconstructivism of the existing.

The challenge for those who are atheist/agnostic and rejecting all religious signficance is to construct a society completely without religion. Compose fundamental beliefs, ethics, morals, without reference to religion or religious based morals. The reality is mankind cannot do so and sufficiently lead his affairs justly and satisfy his needs fairly and satisfy his intellect.

That is merely your opinion and it is nonsense as well. You have no evidence to support your statements. Abrahamic religion is nothing more than an offshoot of Egyptian religion with some Greek traditions, Paganism and various other flavors of superstition blended into the mix. Humans have always had a fascination with religious belief, whether it has been expressed via a King Deity in an advanced civilization or vested in shamanism in primitive nomadic tribes.

I see no reason to believe that any of these religious beliefs have ever been taken more seriously than they are in modern times. People go along to get along. It's not so very different from children pretending to believe in Santa Claus or Peter Rabbit. As a matter of fact, ancient literature (or Scripture -- if you prefer to call it that) is rife with examples of religious people mocking their own religion.

All of these religions were created by the mind of mankind. The human mind is responsible for all ethics and morals as well.

I am not an atheist nor an agnostic. I am a Deist. I do believe in the existence of God -- I simply don't believe in the truth of any religion. I am of the opinion that the vast majority of religious adherents also don't honestly believe. Those who do are simply more gullible than their peers.