"Senator Obama- You are on the crapper pinching out a loaf. A trap door above you is opened through which a spy sneaks and is known to have connections to Al-Qaeda's second in command, Ayman Al Zawahiri. He begins to strangle you. Fortunately, the martial arts training you studied as a child, having laid dormant for so long in the comfort of work as an attorney and as a congressman, surprisingly resurrects itself. With the speed of a cheetah and the grace of a gazelle, you use the chi-yaotze maneuver to subordinate the spy and place him into an upside down hold. The hold simplifies your ability to submerge the spy's head into the toilet water. Do you, Senator, submerge your assailant's head underwater as an interrogation tactic while asking him "who does number 2 work for?"