I think Prudie got this one wrong. There may be situations in which it is acceptable to bring your kids into work, but bringing sick children into the office on a weekly basis is just not okay. They are spreading germs, and they are a distraction. It's not being mean-spirited; it's just common sense. If the boss isn't aware of the situation, perhaps he or she should be alerted. I understand wanting to save up vacation time and sick days for a new baby, but there has to be a better way! Talk to your boss in the spirit of looking for a better solution--perhaps allowing others to donate vacation time, or allowing your co-worker flex time or the opportunity to work from home some days.

I agree. Too many adults come into work sick. Adding kids to the lot is not good for a healthy workplace. And one co-worker expressing sympathy isn't an office full of sympathetic co-workers. It's very hard to speak out against children with risking looking mean, no matter how inappropriate the children are. The writer may well have several other co-workers who are equally off-put by the weekly visits, but are afraid of saying something.

I agree - not mean-spirited at all. I've been on both sides of this coin. A place of work is not always a suitable place for kids. My previous work place was a cubicle maze; even though all my co-workers and my boss had kids, it was very clear that kids did not belong in the office during business hours. (Heck, why do they think we go to work in the first place? For the peace and quiet!) My current job affords me an office with a door - so I do bring my kids in on occasion. But now, they know how to be quiet, and I can always close the door - and I checked with my boss *before* I brought them in.

Kit-Kat has good suggestions - the boss *has* to know, and lay down some guidelines.

Flex time, working from home and donating vacation/sick are great, as long as they are made available to everyone (not just the co-worker with kids), and guidelines are established to help discourage people from posting on discussion boards when they're really supposed to be working.

If kids are going to be allowed at the work place, guidelines need to be established. Nothing says "we're a professional workplace" like answering the phone with a fussy kid in the background. Perhaps the boss can allow employees to use a conference room to work, or other child-free area (or vice versa - allow the kids and parent in the conference room). Even if the boss adores the kiddos, it's his/her job to ensure that people have access to a (kid-free) environment in which to get their work done. A workplace can be family-friendly without being a day-care center.

I agree with Prudence, if the kids are not affecting your work, then it's not a problem for you.

Moreover, I appreciate having kids at work, it reminds me why I'm working. If the noise bothers me, I just put on earphones.

Other countries provide a much better support network for working parents, so this issue doesn't come up in most of the developed world. In this country, if you have to money, this wouldn't be a problem either. However, I noticed that the letter mentioned that they work at a non-profit. So, I assume the pay isn't much.

I don't think kids belong at work. Period. I hate it when kids are brought to the office. It is not cute. Some of us do not like children to start with -- and then to see someone else get paid for being at work -- when they are really doing their duty as a parent?? This is WORK --- not HOME. Duh? How on earth can you do your job if you are watching your child?? It is absolutely loathesome to me to have to put up with any kid in my office, and I would not hesitate to complain to the boss. If you can't do the job - remember, they hired YOU, not your kids. And there is always someone out there (like me) with no complications, who will not bend the rules, who will keep work and home separate -- who is perfectly willing to take your job from you.

Leave your kids home or stay home with them, then let me get promoted right into your place. At least I know what working OUTSIDE the home means.

I agree that the office is not a day care center. Not everyone loves children and they can get underfoot, also there may be liablity issues. If there are enough children perhaps the office should see about a day care center.

I would imagine that if you're getting sick because ailing children are being brought into the office, then that would qualify as them interfering with your ability to work.  I do agree that children shouldn't be roaming around the office; but as Prudie pointed out, the LW seems to be the only one with an issue. Unfortunately you can't complain without coming off like an ogre.  It might be worth considering looking for another job.

I agree with you in part. Everyone has their burdens and it is kind to help your fellow man out. Occasionally. This isn't a matter of mom being stuck in between childcare on a couple of bad days.

If this happens more than once a week. I would say that there is a problem. Mom is abusing the hospitality and good will of her coworkers; she isn't getting her work done and keeping others from getting theirs done.

It is an office, not a daycare center. Mom needs to find better alternative childcare or face up to the boss and arrange for a way of keeping her kids out of everyone's hair. Maybe by taking over a conference room or something.

It is good to be compassionate but not a doormat.

I totally agree with this answer ("Prudie got this one wrong - sick children don't belong in the office) and was about to write a similar response myself. However, I don't think that "well" children belong in the office either! It is imposing on coworkers to have children (or pets) in the office. Many of our offices are "open-plan" these days and it is ridiculous to think that small children wandering around would not be distracting. If I were in this situation, I would speak first to HR and, if the situation is not remedied, to the boss.

I completely agree with most everyone above- children generally don't belong in an office. Occasionally my daughter's caregiver will bring her to visit for lunch, and I'm always uncomfortable and conscious of the noise and disruption an active 2 year old can make. (When I say visit for lunch, she comes up and then we leave- she doesn't stay through my lunch hour.) I think that Prudie, with her somewhat relaxed answer, may have been responding to the bit of childless-by-choice superiority I noted in the letter. The woman's comment about, "Well I am happily married and don't have children," suggested an issue with being a child-free person in what is obviously a very family friendly company. That comment makes me more likely to believe that the issue might be a little more personal as well as professional.

I have to deal with people who use up all their sick days early and then simply show up sick for the rest of the year, so I understand the LW's frustration, and I don't think it is unjustified, but it sounded to me like that was only part of the story.

I hesitate to say that children should never be in the office; circumstances do matter. My mother worked in the parish office next door to my parochial school, and I came over every afternoon after school and stayed there until she left for the day. I sat in her office or an empty conference room and did my homework, or read a book, or helped out with mass mailings or other office tasks. It certainly made a difference that I was a well-behaved and studious kid capable of quietly entertaining myself, and that my mother had an office, not a cubicle, and that she never asked anyone else to watch me. My mother appreciated her office allowing this arrangement, and to my knowledge, no one ever complained about it. In fact, they would occasionally commandeer me to help out with projects!

I guess my point is that every office is different, but the bottom line is that even if your office permits children to be present under certain circumstances, they must be capable of behaving in such a way as to create no distraction for others, and should not be an imposition on anyone. No one has a right to bring their kid into the office, and if they are given such a privilege, they should take great care not to abuse it.

I have every sympathy for a woman who needs to save her leave, but impinging on her coworkers isn't the way to go. No matter how nice everyone is or how cute the children are, this is supposed to be a business office. And when was it mean-spirited to object to sick people at work anyway? Isn't the health of the employees a consideration? I have never seen small children in an office for lengthy periods who didn't create a disruption: Mom isn't doing any work because she's trying to watch her kids, other people aren't working because they're distracted by the children or are helping out, etc. Maybe the mother could try arrange to work at home when she doesn't have suitable work/kid/sick arrangements. Otherwise, as someone pointed out, bringing pets to work regardless of their effect on others should be fair game. There has to be a better way.

I can't believe how utterly heartless some of the anti-kid posters can be. In this country if you quit your job you lose your health insurance along with your paycheck, and most families can't afford to raise their kids without two paychecks. Yet somehow their supposed to hold onto two jobs without their kids ever impinging on their work.

For all those people who are so concerned about kids being a distraction--WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING POSTING ON SLATE DURING BUSINESS HOURS?

You don't have kids, and with an attitude like yours that's probably a good thing, but you DO have a vested interest in making sure parents get the support they need if you hope to benefit in the future from things like, oh, say, a healthy society, economy, and culture. You're cutting off your nose to spite your face. I hope your boss recognizes that a spiteful, narrow-minded person like you is not worthy of promotion, and puts someone who knows how to nuture coworkers' strengths and look beyond pure self-interest at the bigger picture--i.e. a good parent--in that slot you covet.

When your pet stands up on its hind legs and starts speaking, your analogy will hold. Only childless pet owners believe pets and kids are equivalent.