Prudie assumes that your employer won't fire you for opposing her anti-semitism. Very bad assumption. While this does not happen often, it most certainly happens. Ask any plaintiff's employment attorney. Every last one of them will have spoken with multiple people who were fired because they opposed bigotry that did not pertain to themselves. And this sort of discrimination may not be legally actionable. After all, you haven't said you opposed any particular sort of employment discrimination--just general negative talk about a group not represented in your small workplace. If you really don't have other employment options and you need the job, keep your mouth shut and save your opposition for the day you leave. Then as kindly as you can, tell your boss that while you appreciate her great kindness to you, that her talk about Jews has always made you very uncomfortable. Tell her that even you--as much as you loved working there--felt hesitant to tell her how unfortable the talk made you, and that the next person who objects might do so, not by coming to her, but by filing an employment discrimination complaint rather than just asking her to reconsider her views. Perhaps they'll have information that she refused to interview people with Jewish last names, or some such act that would be employment discrimination. Whatever she says, don't respond. Leave it at that and thank her for her kindness to you.

this is the dumbest advice ever.

cheers.

sarah

How can you talk to the boss when your lips are glued to her ass?

You're a coward. I work in a field where saying something like that is not tolerated because there are laws against it.

The authenticity of the Prudie "letters" is questionable. This current Prudie may have selected Jews as the object of the Boss's insulting comments since she had an answer already written for that particular prejudice. The bottom line for most of us readers is that bigotry has to be treated as a generic problem. You can't parse it out and say it's ok since it wasn't my group that was insulted.

You may even feel safe since you, the LW, and the boss are presumably women. Perhaps you could understand the problem better if you change the boss to a male and the focus group group to 'women'. How about if the LW was an engineer intern and the boss made constant comments about women?

Just don't assume that you won't be fired. I guess that's my real beef. People who think they can take their stand and keep their job. Perhaps you can, but perhaps you can't. And don't be looking for anyone to come in and make everything better. Go in with your eyes open and let the chips fall where they may.

How much a change will be made by taking your stand now versus later? I suspect either way its futile. Perhaps the only person you're saving by opposing her biggoted talk is yourself. So, weigh the benefits.

That was the advice of someone who has spent hours listening to crying, indignant people who lost their jobs because they did the "right" thing, in ways that were never smart or planned out. Just heart on the shirt sleeve, "they can't do that", why bother to think ahead. Then they can't pay their mortgages or have health insurance for their kids. All because they thought morality dictated that they tell the biggoted boss that he/she was biggoted. If you want to do something worthwhile, save the resumes of everyone with Jewish name who didn't get considered for employment and keep a journal of everything she said with dates and quotes. But if you're going to do that, stop talking about how nice the lady is.

You do realize that there may be nothing unlawful about saying biggoted things about Jews, or women or African-Americans or anyone else in a given workplace. Title VII of the Civil Rights Act doesn't do squat for you if your employer employs fewer than 15 employees and many states don't have laws with meaningful remedies. Perhaps none at all if the employer is small enough.

And, even if the woman in question did employ 15 or more people, bigotry is not per se unlawful Complaining that your employer made a discriminatory employment decision is likely protected activity. Complaining that your employer is harassing someone in your workplace based on a protected category is likely protected activity. Complaining about general bigotry aimed neither at yourself nor at other employee is almost certainly not protected under Title VII.

We have come so far that many people assume things are illegal that are merely reprehensible.

It could be actionable if she/he were fired, as might quitting, since the employer has created a "hostile environment." However, for that to stick, the LW actually would have to say something.

However, unfortunate as it is, sometimes one has to choose between what is the higher moral good, and what offers the best survival opportunity. Personally, if I really needed the job, and couldn't risk getting fired or afford quitting outright, I'd start sending out my resume fast & furiously, same as I would if I had other strong objections to my job. Once a firm offer arose with which I could live, I'd quit. Whether I said why would depend on whether I really needed a decent recommendation from this employer for the near future.

AgathaX:

Complaining that your employer is harassing someone in your workplace based on a protected category is likely protected activity.

Also, I don't know about the other categories, but you can file sexual harassment, even if you are not the one being harassed. Even if the boss is putting the moves another employee, you can file suit. We learn all about that in our annual sexual-harassment refresher course.

'Neato is right as usual.....third parties can file complaints about inapropropriate behaviour in the workplace. Some places actually make it a duty to so. In my corporate workplace the LW's boss would have found herself on the wrong side of the HR office after the first comment of this type and her ass skidding across the parking lot after a second.

The impression I get from the letter is that the owner is the boss. So the boss is HR.

The question for LW is not how to fix her boss but what her ethical choices are knowing that this hate-talk is wrong. Well, I guess she could have said/say something. This would be the adult way to have managed this from the start. Now she finds herself a collborator with her co-workers. Dear Prudie- is this OK? Of course it's not. Find a new job and quit or shut up and live with it.

The remedy is not a law suit, a settlement,or a get out of jail free card from Prudie. Grow the fuck up. This is the stuff adulthood is made of. It's called living with yourself and the only reward is that you can live with yourself. There's no monetary compensation. Please don't forgive yourself in advance because you think of yourself as a "student."

Anyone who decides to live with this kind of thing, please remember your own compromises before you become a post graduate pompous ass.

Okay, this idea is not not foolproof but if you feel strongly...

Gather up all your past performance reviews, since you are friends I can only assume they glow like Chernobyl.

Then wait for your next review, again it will glow like a camp fire!

Then wait for her next anti-semitic remark-- I doubt with a bigot it will be a long wait. Bring a tape recorder to the meeting, though I'm not sure that's legal, get advice on that.

IF she fires you, you have a lot of evidence as to the real reason she fired you, not poor job performance, though she may not use that excuse.

Find a nice Jewish lawyer (that's a joke!!) Being served with a suit from a Jewish lawyer will give her some nice arterial fibrillation!

One day whatever you do, you probably won't know this woman, but you will be stuck with yourself forever.

If you don't do this, look for a new job but contact a Jewish rights group and out her, hopefully the Jewish customers will leave, and word will go out.

Of course a lot depends on your circumstances--weigh them carefully.

IncogNeato:

It could be actionable if she/he were fired, as might quitting, since the employer has created a "hostile environment." However, for that to stick, the LW actually would have to say something.

Here's what she could do that would really monkey up the works (at least, in CA, I can't speak for other states.)

LW goes to the Labor Board and files a formal complaint, alleging "hostile workplace", etc, based on the Boss' derogatory comments about the religion of at least one of her employees.She needs to cite her "fear of retaliation" if she speaks up. The Labor Board (and this is something the LW will have to be prepared for) will send a copy of the complaint with a letter to the boss, informing her that a complaint has been filed.

Of course, Boss will go ballistic, but does she dare now fire the Jewish employee? She better not, because the Jewish employee is now what's known as a whistleblower and a whistleblower has protected status. This Boss had better have her ducks in a row, every t crossed and every i dotted and her terminating this employee had better be because of proveable repeated violations of their written employee manual. Oooh wee! the Labor Board would love this one; they'd send a feeler over to the ACLU, too. Cause all kinds of problems for the Boss.

I'm not saying her job would be protected; it's still an "at-will State" and an employer can fire you for anything (or nothing); I'm just saying if the LW wants to give herself some means of protection and make things very, very unpleasant for her boss, that's the way to do it.

Of course, this would have been a non-issue for me because the first time my boss said something like that, I'm afraid I wouldn't be suave enough to just stand there mute. I'd pop off with "I can't believe you just said that! You're kidding, right?" but then I probably tend to put my foot in it without thinking a little too often.

mermaid forgot the negative publicity the boss's company will receive. Boss just might lose a lot of customers once the media gets a hold of this.

mermaid33:

Of course, this would have been a non-issue for me because the first time my boss said something like that, I'm afraid I wouldn't be suave enough to just stand there mute. I'd pop off with "I can't believe you just said that! You're kidding, right?" but then I probably tend to put my foot in it without thinking a little too often.

Actually, that would have been the best way to have handled it. Now that the emplyee has tolerated it so many times, it would be next to impossible to pull off believably.

dumb_blonde:

mermaid forgot the negative publicity the boss's company will receive. Boss just might lose a lot of customers once the media gets a hold of this.

Yes, that's where the ACLU comes in, DeeBee! They will send demonstrators to picket this business and the media will pick it up. Local paper, 5:00 news, next morning it's front page Yahoo news and this business person is toast! It will kill any walk-in business; no one will want to be associated with this (and this is especially ugly and non PC.) You can't act like this and stay in business for long unless people just stand mute and tolerate it. (I know, easy to say from someone who's always had a full belly but in my ideal world, this is the way it would play out.)