In a recent survey, 3 in 10 Americans admit to race bias. What's so appalling is that such a low percentage of white Americans have had regular contact with those of other races.

I admit I used to be one of them, and still hold on to a certain ingrained life-long pattern of prejudice. I grew up with and had many Hispanic friends, so I had no problem with them. Like those whites who were surveyed, I was totally distrusting of blacks. I admit my ignorance. And I am convinced that Ignorance leads to distrust.

About twelve years ago, my car broke down in Century City, CA. Out of all the people who drove by, it was two African American men who stopped to assist me. They went beyond lip service, and offered to take me to my destination. I reluctantly agreed - after all, they were black!

Well, they did exactly what they said they were going to do; not only taking me to my destination, but making a U-turn so that I wouldn't have to cross the street. I was deeply moved by their generosity, but unfortunately, returned to my old ways.

My wife and I now live in a racially mixed neighborhood, and I can truly say we have some wonderful neighbors, and have developed close friendships with several black families.

However, on Mother's Day, three African American female teenagers, who we weren't acquainted with, showed up at our door; one of whom was in a wheelchair. Again, my old habits re-emerged. I assumed they were up to no good. This is why we were in such shock when my wife was presented with a gift, which included a potted plant and assorted deserts. When she asked if the girls (who were sisters) were celebrating M.D. with their mother, they said they had lost their mother a number of years ago. This brought my wife to tears! I must confess, I was also profoundly affected. I discovered that these girls are from a poor family, and they had done this for the entire neighborhood.

It isn’t easy, but we are slowly erasing our old bad habits!

I did not see anywhere in your post that you mentioned black racism. Isn't it patently unfair to strictly point out white racism as though they are the only ones who exhibit that trait?

Years ago one of my best friends who happened to be black used to tell me her grandmother was the worst racist who ever drew breath. My friend was not allowed to have any white friends as long as she lived in her grandmothers home. Of course I was raised by one of the most rabid racist I've ever known...my father, a christian neocon.

Where I live most of the blacks treat the Mexicans as though they were dogs...just like most of the white people do.

I believe racism among the different races is pretty evenly split. I cannot believe anyone would be surprised that racism still exists...it's alive and well. Maybe if we, of all races could teach our children to put aside racism there might be some hope for future generations to only read about that negative time in our history.

SG

Southern Gal,I was not going to answer this post as it is so obvious what Larry is saying.

The fact is, I live in a mixed neighborhood too.I do not see it that way. I also have many friends,but again do not see them as black,white,hispanic.

And I certainly do not keep harping on this subject.I would hope it would go away.So,that one day,we could all be Americans.

Larry, I do think you are trying to convince yourself.

Racism exists in Whites, African Americans, Hispanics and Asians, in all ethnicities. However, I personally have not witnessed, nor have I seen any data, which would substantiate that such racial bias in any of the ethnic groups equals that of whites against blacks.

But that wasn't the point of my post (if you read it). It was how I have come to terms with my racial bias. I can't speak for others, but I certainly hope this will help them to understand the deep-seated problem of racism.

Believe me, I know where you're coming from. My wife is from the South and she has strugged with this issue, perhaps more than me.

MaryAnne:

Southern Gal,I was not going to answer this post as it is so obvious what Larry is saying.

The fact is, I live in a mixed neighborhood too.I do not see it that way. I also have many friends,but again do not see them as black,white,hispanic.

And I certainly do not keep harping on this subject.I would hope it would go away.So,that one day,we could all be Americans.

Larry, I do think you are trying to convince yourself.

No, I'm being honest. In doing so, I am working through the traces of deep-seated racism, a life-long bad habit! I'm glad you apparently have not had the same up-bringing and history of this type of disease that I have!

As I understand racism it entails a notion or racial superiority. Are you saying that blacks think they are superior to white people or is what you are calling black racism the natural dislike that black people have historically for their oppressor? This is by no means an equivalent to white racism since blacks have never been in the position of power in this country. If this dislike exits is comes from a real lived history and not an ideology.

Larry,I grew up in Southern Ohio and never saw a black person.

Once I started working and found out we were all people,I did not listen to what others said.

And I lived through the Dayton race riot.I thought those who carried guns were nuts.

I also lived through school busing,where white and black alike fought to save neighborhood schools and stop the silly busing that the Government shoved down out throats, thus destroying the Dayton School system.Matter of fact it killed Dayton as a black friend told me just the other day. He said the money should have gone into bringing the poor schools up to standard,instead of forcing kids to go clear across town.

We had meeting after meeting with officials who agreed with us,but could do nothing to stop it.

He moved out and so did we.We can blame Dems for that mess.

Here’s a response I received from cross-posting this blog on Talking Points Memo. <link>.

Wonderful post!

We all carry that burden to some degree and the day of true brotherhood and sisterhood is still not yet here. Its a work-in-progress, but there sure are happy signs that things are getting better and your post is one of them. Thanks.

Recommended.

And from Daily Kos <link>

Thank you, Sir for your honesty.

And while I appreciate your comment, it also makes me rather sad and discouraged that things can or ever will change. To know that there are still so many in this country, even elected officials who are against Affirmative Action - citing sometimes the argument that it is reverse discrimination, taking 'opportunities' away from those who are most qualified. But I think your response goes to the heart of Affirmative Action, in that it provides a systematic avenue to provide exposure to diversity - therefore providing more 'opportunities' for the good of all, not just one group of people. And that could only benefit the country and the world.

One thing to consider, when attempting to break your patterns of beliefs about blacks... is that blacks historically have had little choice but to trust whites because of prevalent exposure and of course, the power structure of the society. With the exception of very few places in this country, you'd be hard pressed to find blacks that didn't have everyday exposure - and still, with the frequency they are distrusted by whites, continue to put their faith and trust in whites. Sometimes I feel that's a bit naive...

Anyway, thanks again for sharing your thoughts and experience.

Rec you to death, I would!

This is how I had hoped to affect those here; obviously in some instances I have failed.

You didn't fail you broached a very difficult topic for many but I still think we have a quite a bit of work to do.

I was not against affirmative action when it was used wisely.

Killing neighborhood schools was unwise. I guess you did not read the part where all sides fought against the Government decree.

What I get from your post is the same thing so many are saying on this board. If you do not agree with me,you are racist.

If that is not what you intended I apologize.Your many posts since you came back lead me to believe differently.And what you said in your last post is more of the same.

At least, I still have some work to do. In our neighborhood, we have a mixture of not only blacks, but Hispanics Asians and Persians, as well. I was surprised to hear a Hispanic neighbor rail against blacks. Yes, we all have work to do! I truly look forward to the day when we stop references to ethnicity, and look at people as people...then we will finally be over racial bias!!

MaryAnne, I'm glad you had that exposure and learned to everyone is equals. For me, it's a different story. It's been a long haul, but I think I am beginning to rid myself completely of this disease. Thanks for the comment!

larbabe:

MaryAnne, I'm glad you had that exposure and learned to everyone is equals. For me, it's a different story. It's been a long haul, but I think I am beginning to rid myself completely of this disease. Thanks for the comment!

No problem,Larry. As you know many on this board have been accused of racism for reasons you well know.

I really wish we could get past the accusations and learn that all people are created equal.

If I have a problem,it is with the lazy,the whiners,that say they cannot do things. All of us have a choice to make. When we are down,we pick ourselves up and move on.Believe me,I know what I am speaking of. I am sure you do too. We are all a result of our upbringing.

Maybe it is a good thing we had this discussion.Clear the air.

Bless you. The fact that you had that opportunity to live there gives you something unique in the world. There are not many places you can go and have that experience. From what you say, you got a lot out of it and you can't get that kind of education anywhere. Good for you, you got it.

larbabe:

In a recent survey, 3 in 10 Americans admit to race bias. What's so appalling is that such a low percentage of white Americans have had regular contact with those of other races.

I admit I used to be one of them, and still hold on to a certain ingrained life-long pattern of prejudice. I grew up with and had many Hispanic friends, so I had no problem with them. Like those whites who were surveyed, I was totally distrusting of blacks. I admit my ignorance. And I am convinced that Ignorance leads to distrust.

About twelve years ago, my car broke down in Century City, CA. Out of all the people who drove by, it was two African American men who stopped to assist me. They went beyond lip service, and offered to take me to my destination. I reluctantly agreed - after all, they were black!

Well, they did exactly what they said they were going to do; not only taking me to my destination, but making a U-turn so that I wouldn't have to cross the street. I was deeply moved by their generosity, but unfortunately, returned to my old ways.

My wife and I now live in a racially mixed neighborhood, and I can truly say we have some wonderful neighbors, and have developed close friendships with several black families.

However, on Mother's Day, three African American female teenagers, who we weren't acquainted with, showed up at our door; one of whom was in a wheelchair. Again, my old habits re-emerged. I assumed they were up to no good. This is why we were in such shock when my wife was presented with a gift, which included a potted plant and assorted deserts. When she asked if the girls (who were sisters) were celebrating M.D. with their mother, they said they had lost their mother a number of years ago. This brought my wife to tears! I must confess, I was also profoundly affected. I discovered that these girls are from a poor family, and they had done this for the entire neighborhood.

It isn't easy, but we are slowly erasing our old bad habits!

.....about life and how all IS as we perceive it in denial of the reality of how it really is.

A true lesson in humility helps us vanquish our vanity and pride and become one with other human beings instead of "superior" to them in our own minds.

Life is a journey we all take and for all the good we do, we make mistakes and cause harm, intentionally or unintentionally to others. In short we have faults, but so do all others. Perhaps the best way for us all to survive with the most peace into the future would be for us to strive to minimize our mistakes and harm to others and a good place to start is to realize we are as fallible as others, not more perfect than they. That comes from humility and humility comes to some of us in a variety of ways, sometimes from a surprise about misconceptions, sometimes from a collection of experiences and from observing others. For some of us, the lesson never comes on earth, but in may in another life or in another place, such as a heaven of some sort if one believes in such a place.

None of us likes to face our own flaws for obvious reasons, thus vanity, pride, superiority complexes and misconceptions of others become the ways we elevate ourselves in our own minds and help us deny the truth about ourselves. Some people have such a fear of having a flaw, the do all they can to insulate themselves in their minds from that possibility. The cosmetics industry is huge in many ways for that purpose and that is just dealing with superficial perfection, not mental perfection.

We are all fallible, thus forgiveness of others should come in recognition of our own faults as well as theirs. Some things people do can be forgiven, but must be restrained from the chance they will happen again.

This is just all my take on the world, but based on it, I appreciate people like you very much. Your post is a public admittance of a flaw you see in yourself and recognition of it is a huge step in working to make things better. It also says you are a thinking person and think about things other than yourself. That too is an admirable trait in a world of social animals that depend upon others for survival and their standard of living. You also have illustrated that you have emotion and that you can and have been moved by the profound recognition of your previous misconceptions and prejudgments of other human beings.

Unfortunately it seems no matter how many lessons we learn, no matter how much we strive for perfection, there is always room for improvement and we never achieve perfection. That does not mean we should give up since in giving up we open ourselves up to a worse fate than we do by continuing to strive for something better or to be better people. despite and in spite of all our faults.

I have always believed that leading by example may be the best way to pass on our ideals. Forcing people, especially to follow ideals about sharing, compromise and cooperation seems to be at odds with those ideals where leading by example, if the example is good, would gain followers who follow voluntarily based on the benefits they see, not because of the pain someone else exerts upon them.

Thanks larbabe, it is not easy to look ourselves in the mirror and see our imperfections and you have done it and shared your experience with others, perhaps offering a lesson or a lead by example.