ABD not necessarily pretentious
by
boojum
07/14/2008, 3:38 AM #
I reject the idea that All But Dissertation's husband is necessarily pretentious. I allow that he may be, but it isn't a foregone conclusion. I myself am a full-time graduate student, as well as a part-time waiter, and I teach three classes a semester--which is equal to the courseload of a full-time professor. Notice that I say I teach three classes, not that I TA three classes.
That last point is significant, so I'll repeat it in a new line for skimmers. A teacher is distinct from a teaching assistant. I have done both and they are both noble and demanding endeavors, but for a teaching assistant to say they are a teacher is like a paralegal claiming to be a lawyer. But ABD admits that she and her husband both teach classes, and that makes a crucial difference. A teacher prepares a syllabus, gathers materials, outlines student activities for every day of class, lectures, and does much else besides. A teacher is recognized by the university faculty as knowledgeable and competent in their field, even if they are a graduate student.
Perhaps you still think ABD's husband is pretentious. Consider this: I have several friends who are consistently-working actors. Even consistently-working actors, however, rarely make enough money to keep themselves above the poverty level. So these actors make the majority of their income as bank tellers (the old stereotype about actors as waiters is exaggerated and impractical--waiters make most of their money on dinner shifts, which is during the hours most actors rehearse). When asked what they do, should these actors say that they are bank tellers? Or should they say that they are actors, as that is where their heart is (and they make money--however little--doing it)? What about writers who have day jobs but still publish a handful of articles every year? Most playwrights that I know only produce a finished work every couple of years--what on earth should they claim as their profession? Grocer?
I tell people I teach, in the first place because it's true, and more importantly because teaching is what animates me. The opportunity to connect with my students in a classroom setting is what gives me energy through what are very long days. It is not a chore I fulfill for money during my college days (like so many bored teaching assistants that I have seen, surfing the internet while their students have group discussions). The dedicated teacher has a job that cannot be exaggerated, no matter what their faculty designation or terminal degree status may be.
It is still entirely possible that ABD's husband is a tool. If he is indeed evasive of follow-up questions, then he probably is. So be it. That does not change the principle at stake. As adults, we have (hopefully) become more sophisticated in our attitudes towards career and identity than when we sang "Who Are the People In Your Neighborhood?" We have come to understand that for a great many people there is a divide between their job, their income, and "what they do." It is not for us to prescribe how people draw those lines for themselves. As long as the person identifies himself or herself with an activity that he or she actually engages in, it is not ours to say. To those who call this dishonesty and a question of ethics...well, it may be, depending on the stakes of the situation. In a job interview, it would certainly be unethical to mischaracterize the situation. But at a cocktail party, it may be no more unethical than when you ask me how I am doing and I say, "Fine."--even though I am not fine at all, but I know you don't really care to know or if you do, you'll ask some follow-up questions.
Evading those follow-up questions...that's a different matter.
