Secrets of Married Men

Men, especially married men, are at a disadvantage in relationships, both verbally and emotionally.

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Once men decide to marry, they are more committed to the relationship than women are.

Guys look at relationships differently from women, but the most commonly discussed ways of fixing relationships are geared to feminine styles.

Donchathink that's because most of the people discussing fixing relationships are feminine? Many of my female friends process emotional stuff by talking through it and trying ideas on for size. Most of my guy friends don't start talking about relationship stuff until they've pretty much made a decision and they're looking for a second set of eyes to check for anything they might have missed in their analysis.

freethoughter:

Secrets of Married Men

Men, especially married men, are at a disadvantage in relationships, both verbally and emotionally.

...

Once men decide to marry, they are more committed to the relationship than women are.

...

While I certainly feel at a disadvantage, I've see more cases where men abandon their wife and children.

No I believe that is a general trend.

I admire the desire to rise to the defense of the embattled married man, but as a student of psychology and an avid Slate reader, I have to take exception to the pop-psychology reference.

Check out Amanda Schaffer and Emily Bazelon's excellent Medical Examiner series on Sex Differences, and you'll find that the character quoted in your Psychology Today article (Scott Halzmann, M.D.) doesn't have much of a leg to stand on.

Men and women are different, certainly, but those differences are hardly consistent enough to justify any claims that one sex has the leg up on the other in any given task or arena. Gender roles are going topsy-turvy these days, and (thankfully, if you ask me) no realm is sacred anymore.

We are about to have a woman General somethingorother in the Army, we had a near miss with having a woman Commander in Chief, and recently a man gave birth.

All of which is to say that the concepts of "masculine ways of fixing things" versus "feminine ways of fixing things" are not particularly useful these days. We need a more nuanced understanding than that.

and recently a man gave birth

No, a woman you had a sex change operation gave birth. Big difference.

Other than that, I agree with your post.

Yeah, I'd be impressed if a real man gave birth. That woman had all her parts intact downbelow. I don't understand why everyone's saying it's such a big deal.

I was under the impression that about 2/3 of divorces were initiated by women.

meredithc32:

Yeah, I'd be impressed if a real man gave birth. That woman had all her parts intact downbelow. I don't understand why everyone's saying it's such a big deal.

Agreed. What's the brouhaha about? He is still essentially a woman.

I won't get into the existential semantics of whether a being who self identifies as a man yet possesses functioning female genitalia is *actually* a man or a woman.

What I find most interesting (and challenging to standard gender roles) is that a being who self identifies as a man gave birth. That, to me, is taking the "stay-at-home-dad" phenomenon to a whole 'nother level.

I also think that we can't rely upon one's capacity to reproduce in one form or another as enough in and of itself to define membership in a certain gender. If reproduction is the defining characteristic, then all post menopausal women aren't women, and all impotent men aren't men. Clearly we're not ready to accept that.

Houston Kid:

I won't get into the existential semantics of whether a being who self identifies as a man yet possesses functioning female genitalia is *actually* a man or a woman.

What I find most interesting (and challenging to standard gender roles) is that a being who self identifies as a man gave birth. That, to me, is taking the "stay-at-home-dad" phenomenon to a whole 'nother level.

I also think that we can't rely upon one's capacity to reproduce in one form or another as enough in and of itself to define membership in a certain gender. If reproduction is the defining characteristic, then all post menopausal women aren't women, and all impotent men aren't men. Clearly we're not ready to accept that.

Things to chew on, but the points is that s/he has female reproductive organs. Regardless of how s/he defines herself, s/he is still essentially a woman, therefore the birth is really not that big of a deal. Although, I'm no doctor.

Probably the reason "the most commonly discussed ways of fixing relationships are geared to feminine styles" is because more articles about relationships that are published in magazines are written by women for women.