Harmful, B.S. I am a school psychologist and when completed without screaming or putdowns, it works great. I have a now 18 year old. When she was 2, lets talk a handful. She has ADHD and an Anxiety/Deprssive disorder. When she was in timeout, I went with her to ensure the rule weren't broken. No talking, no singing, no stories to self, very boring. She told me last year she wished I would spank her like Dad did when she was with him. He yelled, he threatened (all kinds of things), he spanked, he cut hair; for a long time she literally hated him. It took a lot of work to move her to just that to being willing to put up with and accept him. She is fairly well adjusted, in college and compared to other parents I know, I had relatively liitle difficulty with her or her sister. You screw up, the punishment will fit the crime. We handicap our children into thinking that there are no rules and then they are very upset when they discover that we lied.

Why would you try and force your daughter to "forgive" her father for being a screaming, hitting jerk? He sounds like a nightmare.

I hope you aren't foolish enough to try to force her to leave her kids alone with him when that time comes.