1. A group of aliens comes to your home in the middle of the night and tells you that they’re collecting earth specimens for study back on their home planet. They’ll take either you or your beloved pet. You’re a senior citizen, and your pet is getting on in years, too. You don’t have much contact with people anymore. It’s just you and your pet. They aliens tell you there’s one small catch: they’ll euthanize the specimen (you or your pet) before transport back to their home world.
   
   Do you elect to die to further alien science, or do you let them kill your pet? Please give reasons for your decision.



2. Ha ha! Just kidding, the aliens tell you. We’re not really collecting specimens, but we’ll give you $1,000,000 if you’ll let us give your pet a painless and deadly injection right now.
   
   Do you take the money and let them kill your pet? Why or why not?



3. Bonus Question (for lurkers and others): If you’re not posting much or at all, why not?

Hi. Yawn.

Oh - I'm sorry - I wasn't making fun of your nic. I just had to yawn just then.

Anyway, I'm not posting much at all these days because there are some really worthless posters that the editors won't do anything about, and not posting is my way of voting my conscience.

I wouldn't mind having a million bucks, but I've already made a deal with Howie. I provide him with food, and in return, he lays across my lap and snores. I can't go back on that deal, and really I don't think I'd want to, anyway.

1. Sorry, little buddy, but if it's you or me, well...

Actually, there are a lot of things that impinge on this decision. Given my attachment to my kids, both questions are really no-brainers. I mean, they love the dogs and all, but...

With a million dollars, I could pay for their college and buy them houses. And maybe a car (an inexpensive one, anyway). I could give them a fantastic boost in life.

Sad about ol' Nimbus, you know, but he's up in heaven now, sitting on Kurt Vonnegut's lap (who's looking down on us and laughing. Or crying. I can't tell which).

But that violates the premise of your first question, doesn't it? If it's just me, I say the answer to number one is, the pet goes. Alien's would probably eat him (or worse) after I kicked off anyway. Besides, he can't really work a can opener.

I don't know if I can answer number two. The priority shift is so profound, I really might not care about the money at that point. I might stick with the animal, who I'd then watch enter a slow decline, eventually having to pay to have him euthanized, perhaps kicking myself for not exploiting his bright little life while I could. But perhaps not.

If the situation were reversed? Nimbus loves me and all, but I'm pretty sure I'd be getting spiked.

Remember the intrinsic motivation studies? I'd probably love him even more, after I turned down all that money. And then he'd up and die, the ungrateful little mutt.

Last thought - if it were just me and him, there are still people I'm not attached to in the world who could derive great benefit from that much cash. I guess if I were really altruistic, I'd put the little fella' down, and then busy myself finding the beneficiary I thought would benefit most.

But frankly, any elderly person with a million dollars in the bank right now is already choosing not to do that, aren't they? And really, would one million make that much difference, in the greater scheme of things?

Fuck. Now I don't know what I'd do. I guess when all else fails, I can always fall back on pacificism. I'll keep the dog...

and spend the rest of my days identifying the myriad charitable uses I could have put the money to.

1 - They never come in groups

2 - They don't ask, they just take.

3 - They do not take "container samples" they take their samples alive.

4 - They have been short on cash for some time now - basically since gas went above 2.75/gal, so they no longer purchase samples. They may occasionally barter, but a word of caution. Never trade them "pet for pet" and stay away from their cheese, which is repulsive.

5 - I post twenty or thirty times each day, under seventeen alternate nicks. Some of my 87 reply posts are made up entirely of my initial post and 86 of my replies. How can I possibly post more often?

6 - Why do I do this? I am a home based Fray employee, paid to artificially increase traffic across site. As I understand it, they (Fray Control Central, or FCC) are every close to totally automating the Fray, making any human input unnecessary.

Thank you for your concern.

small or large bills?

Sorry, I never got around to hearing what the aliens said.

I know what happened to the civilizations Christopher Columbus first contacted in the New World.

When the aliens land in my back yard, I'm calling the army.

Easy... the dog bites the dust. There is a long Rabbinic traditon explicating the duty to preserve human life that is.

Subtle... is this really a question about abortion?

1. On the night that these aliens arrive my pet becomes the common house-fly. I say, 'Go ahead, kill the bastard. He's overstayed his usefulness, not to mention his welcome'. Either that or I assure them they've got the wrong address. I dutifully direct them to my neighbor's house, the one with the menagerie.
2. Yes. I take the money. Musca Domestica dies.
3. Trying to kick the habit; besides, there's a clowder of fucking loons about these days.

[Good to see you, though]

1. Not being much of a pet person, there's not much choice here. Not being a pet person probably says something about me, but I'll let you guys figure out what that is. (Not being much of a pet person, I doubt I'd have a pet handy to give to them, though)

2. Um, same as above...only more enthusiastically. Hell, I'll go steal the neighbor's dog for 'em. Damn thing barks incessantly every time I venture into my own back yard.

3. I've been busy and this place has been boring.

I have to google a phrase

To Dawn:

I am here less often because I am busy googling something ZB posts.

1. Kill the pet. The elderly pet couldn't fend for itself, and though I would be living heart-broken, better me than the pet. Have you, for example, ever seen a heart-broken dog? Miserable life, at best.

2. They can keep their money. A $1,000,000 won't buy the love and companionship of a loving pet.

3. Not much to say, I suppose. The attention defect has something to do with.... hey, look! A baby rabbit!

Dawn Coyote:

1. A group of aliens comes to your home in the middle of the night and tells you that they’re collecting earth specimens for study back on their home planet. They’ll take either you or your beloved pet. You’re a senior citizen, and your pet is getting on in years, too. You don’t have much contact with people anymore. It’s just you and your pet. They aliens tell you there’s one small catch: they’ll euthanize the specimen (you or your pet) before transport back to their home world. Do you elect to die to further alien science, or do you let them kill your pet? Please give reasons for your decision.
2. Ha ha! Just kidding, the aliens tell you. We’re not really collecting specimens, but we’ll give you $1,000,000 if you’ll let us give your pet a painless and deadly injection right now. Do you take the money and let them kill your pet? Why or why not?
3. Bonus Question (for lurkers and others): If you’re not posting much or at all, why not?

1. Kill the pet. The elderly pet couldn't fend for itself, and though I would be living heart-broken, better me than the pet. Have you, for example, ever seen a heart-broken dog? Miserable life, at best.

2. They can keep their money. A $1,000,000 won't buy the love and companionship of a loving pet.

3. Not much to say, I suppose. The attention defect has something to do with.... hey, look! A baby rabbit!

Dawn Coyote:

1. A group of aliens comes to your home in the middle of the night and tells you that they’re collecting earth specimens for study back on their home planet. They’ll take either you or your beloved pet. You’re a senior citizen, and your pet is getting on in years, too. You don’t have much contact with people anymore. It’s just you and your pet. They aliens tell you there’s one small catch: they’ll euthanize the specimen (you or your pet) before transport back to their home world. Do you elect to die to further alien science, or do you let them kill your pet? Please give reasons for your decision.
2. Ha ha! Just kidding, the aliens tell you. We’re not really collecting specimens, but we’ll give you $1,000,000 if you’ll let us give your pet a painless and deadly injection right now. Do you take the money and let them kill your pet? Why or why not?
3. Bonus Question (for lurkers and others): If you’re not posting much or at all, why not?

Sorry, but I just got released by aliens and I'm trying to convert these Alpha Centauri bank notes.

It's a question about life, how we value it, and for whom.

On that note, Happy Canada Day, everybody: