Here is something completely different. And off topic.

"Angels Bearing Enemas"....

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I never did figure out just where those little angels were taking that giant bulb.....

And no, I didn't get a checkmark, damnit.

And here I thought I was being all original 'n stuff!

I think you deserved a checkmark.

I suppose if a guy couldn't shit long enough he could be brought to worship anything that would bring relief. Pain killers like morphine shut down the bowel and dry the stool into a hard knob so when you want to "go" during post surgery it is like shitting something the consistency of modeling clay and of a texture like it was rolled in a bed of gravel. Feels like you are crapping one of those old WW2 naval contact mines with the spikes sticking out in all directions.

Often one's only redemption is in the nurse with the enema thing. I think I could easily see the Hebrews erecting a Golden Enema at the base of Mount Sinai compared to a stupid Golden calf.

Dd

Pain killers like morphine shut down the bowel and dry the stool into a hard knob so when you want to "go" during post surgery it is like shitting something the consistency of modeling clay and of a texture like it was rolled in a bed of gravel.

When I was in college, William S. Burroughs' graphic descriptions of the effects of opiates on digestion were enough to keep me off the drugs. (I distinctly remember the phrase "apple corer or the surgical equivalent" described as a requirement for severe heroin-induced constipation.)

Never mind the painful withdrawal and the nasty hallucinations - constipation was enough of a deterrent for me.

I think I could easily see the Hebrews erecting a Golden Enema at the base of Mount Sinai compared to a stupid Golden calf.

If you're going to worship an idol, it might as well be one which provides a practical benefit! What has a golden calf ever done for me?

I would rather worship those nurses standing in front. With friends like those girls, who needs enemas?

anxiousmofo:

Never mind the painful withdrawal and the nasty hallucinations - constipation was enough of a deterrent for me.

So one of your primary fears is being full of shit?

Don't worry, it's a common condition around here.

With friends like those girls, who needs enemas?

The severely constipated?

*rim shot*

So one of your primary fears is being full of shit?

Don't worry, it's a common condition around here.

Oh, I don't doubt that I'm full of shit on lots of things. Someday, I might even know exactly what I'm full of shit on and what I'm not...

I'm going to buy 2 pounds of cheese and a ticket to Russia.

Let me know how that works out. If you're unlucky, you'll be receiving your enema from Boris the 350 pound male nurse, not one of the hottie nurses in the picture, so be careful.

Luckily I speak Russian.

Я съел слишком много сыра. Я хочу милую нюню. Transliterated - Ya svel slooshkom mnoga seera. Ya hochoo meelyoo nyoonyoo.

I ate too much cheese, I want the pretty nurse.

Luckily I speak Russian.

That is why you would end up with Sonya, the pretty name I imagine belongs to the cutest of the nurses in the picture, and I would end up with Boris.

I ate too much cheese, I want the pretty nurse.

That would make an awesome bumper sticker.

Or the seriously kinky.

Rim shot? In a post about enemas?